It’s been a crazy week on Big Brother 12, but now it’s time for a major shake-up. Either Monet or Matt will be evicted and a new HoH competition will commence. The Chenbot has been recharged and is ready for another live eviction, so let’s see what happens.
Before we get to the eviction there are plenty of secrets and lies. Hayden and Kristen have a secret showmance which isn’t so secret because they make out under the covers while Andrew is awake in the next bed over. I think we can officially rule out the possibility of Hayden and Kristen being spies if this is how bad they are at staying undercover.
Rachel gets into the lying game by telling Kristen that Britney said that Kristen and Hayden were voting to keep Monet. None of this makes any sense because if the plan is really to get Monet out, there’s no reason to go around creating unnecessary drama and spreading lies just for fun.
Speaking of idiotic lies just for the fun of it, Matt goes to Britney and Monet after he’s nominated to bitch about being put up and telling them that Rachel and Brendon need to go. There’s absolutely no reason for him to rub their noses in it.
Britney cries in front of Rachel so Rachel spills her guts about Matt offering himself up as a pawn. Britney then says that Matt is acting like he’s offended and that he’s going to put up Rachel and Brendon. Why the hell does Rachel just take Britney’s word on all of this?
Rachel calls a house meeting where she tells everyone that Matt offered to be put up as a pawn. Sadly, Matt plays this house meeting all wrong. Instead of pointing out that he was just telling Monet and Britney what they wanted to hear, he fights back. The most offensive part is that Brendon and Rachel seem to think Matt is playing the entire other side of the house, and in reality, Brendon, Rachel, Monet, and Britney are the only people he’s playing.
Basically, the house meeting is a mountain made out of a molehill and it’s played poorly by everyone involved. It’s your basic lose-lose-lose-lose-lose situation.
In the HoH room, Julie gets Rachel to admit that she’d choose Brendon over the $500,000.
She’s surprisingly pleasant and simple.
He makes a joke about not wearing his military regalia (an homage to previous Big Brother 10 HG Jerry). He also hates Natalie (Big Brother 11 runner-up), wants the Saboteur to return, and calls Julie the Chenbot. I LOVE MATT! Even Julie laughs and kind of loves that Matt calls out her beloved pet nickname on the Internet.
Andrew votes to evict…MONET
Enzo votes to evict…MONET
Britney votes to evict…MATT
Kathy votes to evict…MATT
Hayden votes to evict…MONET
Kristen votes to evict…MONET
Ragan votes to evict…MONET
Brendon votes to evict…MONET
Lane votes to evict…MONET
MONET IS EVICTED!
No surprise, exactly as I (and everyone following the live feeds) expected.
Monet is teary and the Chenbot’s programming must be acting up because she’s exhibiting something that humans call “feelings.” Monet admits that she said her goodbyes last night and this morning to Britney and Kathy, the two people she knew were voting for her. On the bright side, Monet owns her cattiness, refusing to regret all the nasty things she said about Rachel.
Rachel’s parting words are all about how Monet wanted to break up her and her man. Britney cries and talks about being sad that she won’t be able to talk smack about Rachel and Kristen any more.
Endurance! The best part of every season of Big Brother is the endurance competitions because they really separate the people who want it and those who don’t. It also makes the Internet the best thing ever so you can follow along with me as it goes into the night to find out who wins.
All the HGs are on surfboards and the last person standing is the HoH. However, the first five people who fall off will be the Haves, so the four who come up short are the Have-Nots. Great twist, as is the fact that water is poured all over them. This is going to get ugly.
America’s Vote: What food item do the Have-Nots get this week?
Sardines and sauerkraut
Prunes and pate
Baby food and bok choy
I’ll pass on all three.
(Image courtesy of CBS)