The episode may not be live, but my thoughts are tonight on Big Brother 11. As you may know by now, tonight’s “live” eviction episode is being tape-delayed because HoH Chima has threatened to throw a primo, profane hiss fit if the mystery power is used and her nominations are thrown out. As a result, we already have spoilers about what happens, but to read those, you’ll have to click on this link.
Will Jeff use the Coup d’Etat (or Coop-Dee-Tah, as he calls it)? Who will be evicted and who will be the next HoH? And more importantly, will Chima have a totally awesome freakout?
We’ve already seen Chima repeating Braden’s profanities on a liveeviction episode, we saw Casey call Ronnie a “dorkopotamus” and we sawRonnie call Michele the worst person he’s ever met. In other words,it’s going to take a major league meltdown to take the title of “BestLive Eviction Moment” for Big Brother 11.
Julie Chen is in da house with a black dress with white polka dots. Due to her baby bump, she looks a little like the ever-expanding nighttime sky.
The single best thing about the production of this show could be that the “Previously on” package always ends with some random funny moment, and this time, it’s Jeff clucking in his chicken suit. Genius!
Jessie pees his pants all week long terrified of the Wizard, aka the holder of the Coup d’Etat. He’s clearly not as dumb as he looks, because he and Natalie decide that Jeff or Jordan has it, so they cozy up to them and try to be BFFs so that the Wizard won’t strike them down.
Russell still thinks he has a chance to stay but it’s hard because even if he gets Jeff and Jordan, he needs two more, because there’s no way Chima would keep him with a tie-breaker. He tries to butter up Jessie, but that doesn’t work, so he goes to Michele, but Jessie decides to sabotage that by bringing up Russell calling Michele a psycho.
Once again, my opinion is proven pliable, because now I’m actually liking Jessie and hating Russell.
In the HoH room, Chima is 99.9 percent sure Jeff is the Wizard, and that if he uses it to undo her will, there will be beaucoup de drama.
Home Video Time!
It’s time to see what Chima’s grandma thinks about the diva of Big Brother 11. Granny Florence looks a bit like Maya Angelou and she is clearly disappointed that she pronounces her name “Sheema” when the actual Nigerian pronunciation is “Cheema.” Then we get a lot of Chima being a total diva, and I’m struggling to remember how this show decided to put her into the Brains clique.
Granny Flo is also clearly upset while watching Chima and Russell’s huge fight. Granny Flo wants Chima to be a little more open and not so sure of herself. I love Granny Flo.
Julie Chen and Chima have a private chat, and sticking with her diva personality, she has no regrets about her fight with Russell.
Julie asks if the Wizard wants to use the power, and Jeff stands up! Everyone is a bit peeved and in shock. Julie explains the Coup d’Etat, and between all the gasps, Jeff is smiling a mile wide. Also, as a result, both Jeff and Chima can compete for HoH later, though neither will vote to evict.
Jeff first takes Lydia off the block and puts Natalie up in her place. Then he takes Russell off the block and puts Jessie up. Jeff says it’s just a game, and the new nominees are so pissed they can’t even talk.,
The new nominees get to give speeches. Natalie’s speech is dull, but Jessie’s is pretty amazing. He acknowledges that this was the smartest thing Jeff has ever done, so he’s resigned to the inevitable. For once, he’s being the bigger man, literally and figuratively.
Lydia votes to evict…NATALIE
Jordan votes to evict…JESSIE
Kevin votes to evict…JESSIE
Michele votes to evict…JESSIE
Russell votes to evict…NATALIE
Jessie is evicted.
Is it still paranoia if it turns out that the magical invisible Wizard REALLY IS out to get you?
Julie delivers the news and Jessie walks out with his head held high. He’s a little too happy to be out, like he’s overcompensating for something. But I’m guessing this isn’t the first time he’s overcompensated for something.
Jessie is OK with being evicted because he’s under the impression that he has a future in the WWE. Yeah, maybe he and Mike Mizanin from The Real World can become The Real Pro Wrestlers of Douchebag County.
It’s a standard Face-Off buzz-in quiz game, where you’re eliminated if you get it wrong, the other person gets it right, or no one buzzes in.
Kevin vs. Lydia. Lydia is eliminated.
Jeff vs. Russell. Russell is eliminated.
Chima vs. Natalie. Natalie is eliminated.
Jeff vs. Jordan. Jordan is eliminated.
Kevin vs. Chima. Chima is eliminated.
Jeff vs. Michele. Jeff is eliminated.
Michele vs. Kevin. Kevin is eliminated.
Michele wins HoH!
It certainly helped that five other HGs were eliminated before she even had to play. I guess in this competition, being in the middle was a great thing.
Great news. Next week is a live DOUBLE EVICTION EPISODE! Those are the absolute best episodes ever! Let’s hope it’s as amazing as last season, when Dan and Memphis ran the board and got Michelle and Ollie out in one night.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of CBS)