After controlling the Big Brother house for several weeks, Libra’s alliance is on shaky ground with Michelle winning Head of Household and vowing vengeance for her pal Jessie’s eviction. Tonight Big Brother 10 not only brings nominations, but many blasts from the past as former contestants help out with the food competition.
I’ll be here throughout the hour updating with my live commentary. Of course, that won’t be until 60 Minutes is over. Darn live sporting events, pushing back Big Brother.
The only good thing about Big Brother being preempted? Getting to see Andy Rooney spend quality airtime rant about something stupid. This week: why state slogans are dumb. Real hard-hitting journalism there, Mr. Rooney.
You know what, I’d love to meet the dude who does the voiceover for the “Previously on” segments. I bet he looks nothing like what you’d think.
After Jessie’s eviction, Michelle cries and Keesha brags. I’m pretty sure Keesha belongs on Rock of Love. Meanwhile, Libra is turning more and more into Omarosa with every episode. Jerry feels disrespected by Dan.
We once again hear Jerry yell “Screw you people” after Michelle wins HoH. He is one hateful old man, and I’m not going to be kind to him just because he’s old. Dan blames himself for promising both sides his vote, but he rationalizes it by taking his cross off for the first time in his life before Jessie’s eviction.
Somehow Renny and Michelle fight over absolutely nothing and they all start yelling. Libra and Keesha walk into the firefight and have even more yelling. Jerry starts shouting too! This is abso-effing-lutely crazy. Dan buries his head in his pillow, wisely staying out of it.
Michelle then bashes Dan’s faith, doubting that he’s even a Catholic school teacher. Memphis and Libra take offense, as they should. Damnit Michelle, you made me side with Libra, and for that I can never forgive you.
Memphis and Dan scheme together out of a mutual distaste for everyone else. Finally, an alliance I can root for. Michelle asks Dan if he’s really a school teacher then asks why he did what he did. He’s so whiny and playing up how weak he is and how he just let them push him around. This sad sack approach to the game is hilarious. When the cast was first announced, I thought Dan would be the douchebaggiest HG ever, but now I adore him.
In Michelle’s HoH room, Memphis is annoyed by how much April is sucking up to her. He is so right and April is so fake. Michelle cries over her letter. Ugh, how does CBS always find the most emotionally vulnerable people to be on this show? Suck it up!
Jerry wants Dan to burn in Hell, but everyone agrees that Libra needs to go.
The HGs get excited for the game show food competition. Brian from this season is the host. He reveals the returning HGs from seasons past and everyone is excited.
Michelle blows a kiss to Jase, so between him and Jessie, we know her taste in men is seriously compromised. Season 8’s Jen and season 9’s Matt get very little applause from the HGs.
Current HGs are asked questions about things currently in the news. If they’re right, they win food. If they’re wrong, the returning HG gets $1,000.
Dan vs. Mike Boogie. Was Brett Favre traded to the Jets? Dan says it’s false, which is apparently wrong. I’m not in the house, and even I’d fail at this game.
Renny vs. Jen. Is the national average for gas over $6 per gallon? Renny says false, which is correct.
Jerry vs. Janelle. Was Jessie offered the cover of Muscle and Fitness magazine? Jerry thinks it’s true, but it isn’t.
Memphis vs. Amy, playing for a grill. Did the Chinese ban bald and smelly cab drivers from the Olympics? Memphis says false, and he’s wrong. Wait, what? Man, I need to read a newspaper.
Ollie vs. Matt. Michelle also flirts with Matt. Can the Chinese prevent rain at will? Ollie says false, and he’s wrong. The Chinese have a weather machine and no smelly cab drivers, it’s a magical place.
Libra vs. Bunky. Are Cheech and Chong reuniting and going on tour? Libra says false, and she’s wrong. That’s the third true thing I haven’t heard of. Renny loves Cheech and Chong.
Michelle vs. Jase, playing for a feast. Was the earthquake real? Michelle thinks it was real and she wins a feast for the house.
April vs. Chicken George. Will Britney Spears record a country album? April says it’s true, and she’s wrong. These HGs are dumb.
Keesha vs. Jun. Is Paris Hilton in an ad urging Americans not to vote for George Bush? Keesha says it’s false, and she’s correct.
Therefore, Renny and Keesha won food for Tuesday and Sunday, Michelle won a feast and everyone else got slop.
Back to the game, Memphis begs Michelle not to get into an alliance with April, Ollie and Jerry. Memphis continues to defend Dan, trying to keep him around. Dan + Memphis = Awesome!
Renny decides to campaign against April by saying April claims she didn’t want Jessie to go, but she put him up anyway. Thank you, Renny, for being the third sane voice in this house.
Finally, it’s key time. Michelle nominates Libra (duh) and Keesha (not totally unexpected).
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of BigBrotherCaps)