There’s currently a rumor circulating, from In Touch of all places, that Emily Maynard was “rejected” by her top choice in the Bachelorette finale (airing in two weeks), and that the guy she’s engaged to — read that spoiler here, if you wish — actually “won by default.”

Here’s more detail from the so-called “insider” who told the tabloid all about the insane drama, which somehow managed to stay under wraps and unpromoted by ABC until now:

“The insider reveals that the man who captured Emily’s heart rejected her at the penultimate hour. According to the insider, in an emotional scene filmed for the finale, Emily was enjoying a final date with one of her final two candidates — race car driver Arie Luyendyk Jr., 30, and entrepreneur Jef Holm, 27 — when he got a sudden case of cold feet. “He said, ‘I don’t think we know each other nearly enough to even be entertaining this; I don’t think we should get engaged,'” says the insider. “She was crying and begging him to reconsider,” says the insider, who says she even blurted out, “You’re the one I want to pick!” Despite this bombshell revelation, and her tearful pleas, Emily’s dream man walked off the show — and out of her life.”

And yet, after so much agony and heartbreak …

“Emily is now happily engaged and living with the other top contender. An insider, who recently spoke with Emily’s fiance, said, “He told me, ‘We’re gonna get married, and we’re gonna have kids.'”

Please tell me I am not the only one who finds this rumor impossible to believe. Do I really have to list out the reasons that it sounds like total hogwash? OK, fine:

1. Both Arie and Jef have spoken extensively and repeatedly about how they love Emily more than life itself and want to “marry the f*ck” out of her. And step-father her daughter. You’re telling me that one of them said all that and then waited until the last minute to be like, “uh … j/k.” As far as I can tell, neither of these guys is in a rush to become America’s #1 Scumbag of the Summer. Or America’s #2 Sloppy Seconds Guy.
2. Emily has repeatedly said that she has no problem walking off the show alone if she doesn’t get her perfect guy. Have you seen this woman’s hair/nails/clothes/everything? If Emily’s got anything, it’s pride. And standards. And only a taste for the very best.
3. I’d like to believe that Emily is smarter than to say on camera, “You’re the one I want to pick!” to anyone, especially a guy who’s in the middle of dumping her. And then to go and get engaged to the other guy? Nuh huh.
4. If any of this actually happened, ABC would be promoting the crap out of it. In general, it is a juicy (too juicy to be true) tale of betrayal. But specifically, don’t you think they’d realize it would be RATINGS GOLD if the former Mrs. Womack-to-be, that guy who dumped both his final women the first time he was The Bachelor, also got dumped in the end of her own Bachelorette season? Right now, all they’re promoting for the finale is an extremely cut-up (and itself unbelievable) tale that Emily might become so conflicted between Arie and Jef that she’ll quit the show at the end. This story is so much better than that! Pretty sure they’d use it, if it existed.

I’ll gladly eat all of these words if I’m wrong. (For what it’s worth, Reality Steve agrees with me.) But if I’m wrong, let’s at least agree that the Bachelorette marketing team needs a major refresh on their promo-making. Settling for the runner-up after the top choice turns you down? That’s right up there with pulling a Mesnick.

ANYway, it’s Wednesday Tabloid Rumor Day, so let’s check out what other Bachelorette “news” is currently lining the grocery check-out stands (and soon to be lining gerbil cages) across the nation:

Emily “Sweet Talking” Roberto into the Job: US Weekly says that Ms. Maynard has been making “secret phone calls” (in between her romantic liaisons with Chris Harrison and secret texts to Brad Womack?!) to Roberto Martinez to “sweet talk” him into becoming the next Bachelor. This is almost too boring to argue with.

Arie “Only In It for the Fame”?
His ex Cassie Harshman, the one whose name he used to have tattooed on his person, allegedly told Star that Arie’s only motive to be on The Bachelorette was for “fame and attention,” that he has dated “hundred of women” (are all of them named Cassie?) all over the world, and that the whole idea that he would take the show seriously, let alone get engaged on it, is a “joke.” Oh no! Well, that might give credence to that first rumor we talked about.

What do you think?

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.