In the latest promo for tonight’s episode of ABC’s The Bachelor, contestant Tenley Molzahn appears to confess these fateful words to the weary Bachelor, pilot Jake Pavelka:
The promo then cuts to a quick shot of Tenley wiping away some tears.
“Oh. My. GOD! The first Bachelor baby EVER!” – You
Except that anyone who’s ever watched a single season of The Bachelor knows not to take this editing hack-job at face value.
Tenley already revealed that she hasn’t even kissed another man since her marriage ended at least a year ago, and all she’s done with Jake is a tiny bit of kissing. So unless the next words out of her mouth are “…with the second Baby Jesus,” then there’s no biological way this could be true.
Because it’s NOT.
The promo cuts quickly away from Tenley’s “announcement” because, clearly, she says this as a joke. Tenley wants to tell Jake about her divorce–that we know. Well, this is a classic distraction tactic for broaching a difficult topic: start out with a fake horrifying revelation, and quickly reveal that it’s a joke. Then, when you hit him with the real tough stuff, it will seem tiny and benign in comparison. It’s “Breaking The Bad News” 101, you guys!
Unfortunately for Tenley, she never took the ever-important class, “Why Not To Joke About Being Pregnant With The Guy You Like” 305 (very advanced), but that’s okay. Jake’s already proven that he’s willing to put up with a lot worse (read: Michelle), and he’ll probably see her light-hearted honesty, and the lack of a fetus growing inside of her, as touching and attractive.
This is all speculation, of course, and we’ll all have to wait until tonight at 8 PM on ABC to see what happens between Jake and Tenley on the third episode of The Bachelor. Be sure to check back to BuddyTV after the episode for my full, hilarious, photo-and-snark-filled recap.
In other “No duh” Bachelor news, Jimmy Kimmel is the best: