Each viewer I spoke with, exchanged tweets with and whose comments I perused on Facebook was vocal about last week’s polarizing episode of America’s Next Top Model. The Ty-overs were disastrous in some cases (Keith’s beard from hell, Kari and the icy blonde muppet coif and brows).
Matthew and Will shared a man-kiss off-screen, which caused a big stink. Both Matthew and Will handled the situation with class, aplomb and the kind of political liberality that every American would do well to emulate in regard to all LGBT (or any other minority) concerns. My esteemed colleague Gina Vaynshteyn wrote a poignant article discussing the incident and how it was handled by the contestants in their behavior and by America’s Next Top Model in their editing of the episode.
ANTM: Bisexuality Is Awkwardly Addressed (But at Least It’s Addressed) >>>
This week’s America’s Next Top Model wastes no time in sending a nod to the upsets from last week and getting down to the nitty-gritty of what modeling is really all about –> S-E-X.
Tyra Swore She Wouldn’t Tip-Toe
And she didn’t, when it came to Chatelle’s participation in the competition. The final shock from last week was the exodus of the confident and stunning girl with bilateral vitiligo. As I said last week, a model has to be a blank canvas. Chantelle’s exotic dual-skin tone beauty is many things, but blank is not one of them. This advocate for the underdog made an impression on us all and will now move on to bigger things. It was still sad to see her go.
Making Love to the Camera Without Taking Your Panties Off
That’s what’s behind 90% of modeling success: knowing how to make love to the camera. Tyra Banks shares three key strategies with the group in preparation for a commercial they will be shooting for Spyder Byte. Here they are: ‘Werk the Smirk’ means to keep the intensity in the eyes, but to entice and tease with the smile. ‘Fierce Fantasy Headroll’ is a way to roll the head around in an alluring manner so reminiscent of how a person might look while having sex. ‘Peeping Tooch’ and ‘Peeping Booch’ are ways of sticking out the butt when you know you’re being watched.
Each model gets a shot at practicing all three moves with Tyra before the commercial is shot. Raelia, Mirjana and Will are fantastic in everything. Adam struggles, but keeps on trying. Disappointingly, Lenox is awkward and uncomfortable trying to look sexy and eventually gives up. Wah. Wah. Wah. This does not bode well for the two-time #2 photo winner of the cycle.
“Step Into My Office,” Said the Spyder to the Fly
Franco Lacosta is on deck to shoot the Spyder Byte commercials. Tsai Yu and Franco split the models into teams of two, with Matthew and Will as the final couple since the male-female ratio is off. The females and Will, wearing blood red contact lenses, are directed to get tangled in the life-size web. Each female of the pair plays the black widow ensnaring her male victim and is instructed to actually bite the poor guy. It looks painful when each female grabs hold of her partner’s bottom lip with her teeth and yanks, leaving the male withering in a death spasm.
Mirjana, it turns out, has kicked her at-home boyfriend to the curb and is now happily “dating” Denzel, but gets paired with dark-chocolate-and-dreamy Keith. This makes Denzel highly uncomfortable, but he survives.
Paired with Denzel is Ice Queen Kari, who, together, are just one big hot mess. Romeo and anti-sexuality Lenox are paired together and it’s clear there’s no chemistry going on there. On the positive side, the two guys paired together, Will and Matthew, put out some great shots, as do Adam and Shei, and Raelia and Ben. Very steamy.
Romeo Gets Drunk and Disorderly; Adam Takes the High Road
The group heads back to the party house for the evening where Romeo announces it’s his birthday and proceeds to get drunk off his witchy little ass. In the midst of his drunken stupor and while he’s still able to stand up somewhat straight, Romeo starts in on Adam, whom he’s already told America he wants off the show ASAP. Romeo gets up in Adam’s face like a feral dog sniffing a hostile mate. As the group looks on, Romeo spits insults at Adam, saying he’s a personal trainer, but not a model and doesn’t belong here. Adam, the entire time, remains incredibly calm and impressively in control of himself.
The interesting thing about Adam in this competition is that he presented himself in the first several episodes as a party animal. While I don’t doubt that he is that, I believe his humanity has been revealing itself in his behavior for the last three episodes. This competition has knocked Adam down several notches. Instead of being a testosteroni mess about it, he’s been demonstrating some humility, which shows that there is character beneath this young man’s, er, character. I, for one, appreciate his growth. I hope he continues for quite a while.
America’s Next Top Model‘s Zero Tolerance Policy in Action
The next morning, even before the challenge is revealed, creative director Yu Tsai announces that Romeo is kicked off the show for physically assaulting Adam. Wow. This is an ANTM first.
Staying Humble and Hungry on Stilts
Next up is the challenge. The group is introduced to a professional stilt walker. The challenge is to walk the runway in pairs wearing outrageously high stilts. Raelia and Adam falter. Mirjana is scared out of her mind but conquers her fears and delivers a decent performance. Ben is left to walk the runway by his lonesome since Romeo has been disqualified.
The winner of the challenge: Ben, whom Miss J Alexander says was the only one to “take advantage of the pole.” The secret to Ben’s success: staying humble and staying hungry. Way to go, Ben.
New Records are Set During Call-Outs
Tyra Banks, Kelly Cutrone and Miss J are joined in the throne room by the 11 remaining models. First order of business is Tyra’s re-announcement about the zero tolerance rule and Romeo’s expulsion. This, she says again, is a record event. No one’s ever been kicked off for assaulting another contestant before.
Other records are broken during the evaluation session. Kelly is astounded when Tyra gives a score of five for the first time in ANTM history … to Ben for his performance in the Spyder Byte commercial. Ouch. His partner, Raelia, breaks another record: Kelly Cutrone does something she’s never done before: she gives Raelia a perfect 10! Tyra also gives Raelia a 10 and it looks like the booty-toochin’ girl’s gonna be sleeping in the Tyra suite tonight.
On the dark side of things, Trya doesn’t stop at a five for her low grading. When Lenox gets into the hot spot, Tyra wants to give her a zero, but that’s not allowed so she gives her a one. A ONE! Dang and ouch.
Will, according to Yu Tsai, is getting better and better in his craft each week. It’s undeniable that the man’s beautiful. Will takes home top photo this week. Who does he invite to the Tyra suite to spend the night with him? I guess we’ll find out next week. I do have to say that of all the men there, Will and Matthew are the most beautiful and, it seems, two of the most mature. Matthew ends up with two nines and a six from Tyra, who thought he looked like he was smelling a fart in his photos.
Second in line is Raelia, whose commercial knocked Tyra over and gave her chills. Keith is a close third because he just can’t take a bad photo.
Ben, Adam and Lenox end up in the bottom three. Ben gets the dubious distinction of not being in the bottom two, leaving Adam and Lenox standing on the dais shaking in their boots. Lenox got the first ever ANTM score of one, so there’s no mystery here. Lenox is the 11th out of 11. Tyra says Lenox can’t skate by on being giggly and cute. She has to work hard, fight for it, improve.
Lenox is Saved
Since Romeo was catapulted from the show by his obnoxious and demeaning behavior coupled with the physical assault he performed on Adam, Lenox is given one more chance. She gets to stay ’til next week. However, there’s a caveat: she will only get five frames during her photo shoot while all the other models will get many, many more. Here’s what I have to say about little Lenox: she got second photo twice. There’s a possibility she could stick around for a while, but she’s gonna have to learn to fake some sluttiness sexiness in her shoots if she wants to get into the final five.
Next week’s episode is entitled “The Girl Who Got Five Frames.” I have a feeling Lenox kicks some major booty, but we’ll have to wait and see. On another note, but still in regard to next week’s episode, we’ll be seeing a guest appearance by Nick Cannon, the fan-favorite host of America’s Got Talent. See you all then.
America’s Next Top Model airs Mondays at 9pm on The CW.
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(Image courtesy of The CW)