Doo do doobee doobee doo doo dooooo dooo, welcome, ladies and gents, to the first live results show of the circus that is Season 10 on America’s Got Talent. We’ve had the field whittled (questionably, at best) to the judges’ top 36, and now it’s time for viewers to take over and whittle it down some more.
Twelve acts came to play in the first performances of the quarterfinals, and seeing as how things went mostly according to plan, I expect few surprises as five acts are sent on their not-so-merry way.
But what should happen and what actually does happen are often very different things, and the middle of the pack may just have been mediocre enough for the worst of the night to squeak through.
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Four acts put themselves in an entirely different class and are shoo-ins for a spot in the Top 21 (or however many semifinalists there end up being). And so Drew Lynch’s girlfriend, Paul Zerdin’s puppet, Samantha Johnson’s stems and Siro-A’s seizure threat to all epileptics will appear in the next round. On the flip side, Sexy McBenderson (Vita Radionova) and the Hippity Hop Bro Dancers (The Gentlemen) are definitely on the outs.
On these points, esteemed BuddyTV colleague Derek Stauffer and I are in agreement, but then things get murky. Judging by the comments, many of you agree. But jeez, people, ease up on him! Don’t forget that opinions are like assh*les — everybody’s got one and they sure as heckfire are entitled to it. I’ll be damned if anyone is going to disrespect my Big Booty Judy, so leave his alone. Besides, if you agreed with everything, there would be nothing to comment about.
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That leaves six acts for three spots, with Piff the Magic Dragon being a near lock in as he was arguably the #1 fan favorite before his less-than-stellar Radio City Music Hall debut. There’s too much potential and too much to like to send him home this early.
Derek argues that Alondra Santos and Craig and Micheline have guaranteed places, whereas I lean towards Benton Blount and Showproject advancing, but as I said, the middle is so muddled that I wouldn’t be shocked no matter what happens. And that includes the potential revival of boy band Triple Threat, who absolutely lost their way but might be popular enough to get the necessary votes for a do-over.
And on that note, it’s time to determine if the world is a just place or not. Hint: It’s not. That means somebody is going through who doesn’t deserve it, but that’s for America to decide. On to the results!
The Live Blog Begins Now
We’re jumping right into the filler, with multi-platinum pop star OMI performing his breakout hit single “Cheerleader,” which is probably on the radio right now. It’s been number one on the Billboard Hot 100 for the past month or so, and I think you can expect it to, at worst, last through the rest of the summer.
He’s been making the rounds, appearing on all the talk shows, but this is the first time I’ve seen him move around while he sings, and it’s not quite as on point as usual. Plus it was nice of The Gentlemen and Triple Threat to lend him their backup dancers.
The time wasters continue with a recap of Tuesday night, complete with behind-the-scenes nuggets from the judges and curtain-pulled-back moments from the acts. I think someday I might want to see one of these episodes in person, just to compare the spectacle versus how it appears on TV.
What the F?!?
The first results in are the three acts eligible for the “Dunkin’ Save,” (named after this year’s sponsor, Dunkin Donuts), which means they came in sixth, seventh and eighth places. Those three are Alondra Santos, Samantha freaking Johnson and The Gentlemen.
Samantha Johnson, she of the pimp spot, didn’t get enough votes to finish in the Top 5?? Howard Stern calls it criminal, and I have to agree. Alondra will need the judges to pick her, but it would appear she has snagged the seventh spot. But I voted just to be safe.
Two Semifinalists are Revealed
After a quick waste of time stop in the Dunkin’ Lounge, it’s time for the first results. Nick Cannon calls out Piff the Magic Dragon and Triple Threat, who step forward to learn their fates.
Piff the Magic Dragon advances
So far, so good.
Vita Radionova and Benton Blount are next.
Benton Blount is in the semifinals
Two for two.
Mat Franco for the Win
And now it’s time for the main draw of the night, which I’m looking forward to more than the results, as Season 9 winner Mat Franco is performing for the first time at Radio City since he became the first magician to take the whole thing down last year. He was a deserving champion, and one who consistently wowed not only with his outstanding tricks, but also with his creativity, showmanship and delivery.
He currently headlines “Mat Franco: Magic Reinvented Nightly” at the LINQ Hotel and Casino in Las Vegas, and he will star in his own primetime special “Mat Franco’s Got Magic,” at 9pm September 17 on NBC. I will be DVR’ing.
He starts out with two cardboard tubes, a bottle of wine and an empty wine glass, and by the end, they’ve all switched places six or seven times, are joined by like 10 other bottles, and the glass is full. I am certainly unaware how he does it, but it’s not as big or bold as what we grew accustomed to last season. But it’s fun to watch, and for real, who doesn’t love Mat Franco?
Two More Acts Join the Top 21(ish)
With the fun out of the way, it’s back to the results. Nick calls out Siro-A and Craig and Micheline. After a literal 25-seconds dramatic pause…
Siro-A advances to the semifinals
That leaves Showproject, Paul Zerdin and Drew Lynch for the final two non-save, non-judge-picked spots, and this is all playing out according to plan.
Paul Zerdin is safe
Drew Lynch is safe
If Samantha wins the save and Alondra is picked by the judges, we’re cool, America. I was torn between the Mariachi singer and the shirtless acrobats for that final spot anyway.
And I don’t know why I freaked out like I did when those bottom three were announced. There was never a chance that Samantha Johnson was going home, even if voters at home somehow chose The Gentlemen.
A Predictable Finish
I just wrote in the comments section that I could finish this blog without watching the show, because the coming results are more evident than Piers Morgan’s disdain for Howie Mandel.
Samantha Johnson wins the Dunkin’ Save
And so that final spot is up to the judges, and…
Heidi Klum picks Alondra Santos
Mel B. picks Alondra Santos
Howie Mandel picks The Gentlemen to create false drama
Howard Stern picks Alondra Santos
And there you have it, folks. We got it right this time, though I wouldn’t get used to it. We’re bound to muck it up along the way.
Do you agree with the results? Was there anyone you wanted to advance who didn’t? And which of these performers has what it takes to go all the way?
Twelve more acts, including favorites like Freckled Sky, Ira and The Craig Lewis Band, hit the stage in the second group of quarter finalists next time. It looks to be an insane night of talent, and we’ll be here, watching and blogging live right along with you.
America’s Got Talent airs Tuesdays and Wednesdays at 8pm on NBC.
(Image courtesy of NBC)