After Monday’s lackluster episode, I am ready to see some REAL talent. I want to be shocked, I want to laugh, and I want to be impressed! No pressure, random Tuesday night episode of America’s Got Talent! Tonight they’re in St. Louis (again), which makes me think that they gave us the good St. Louis episode in the first week and this one could be another clunker.

The first act up is a puppeteer, Tom Bonham. Howie looks amused, the audience is booing. He’s mostly just moving things around with wires and sticks. Howie laughs AT it. “It is atrocious, but I love it,” Howie says. Howard turns on a dime, after giving the puppeteer the X, and the audience isn’t sure how to feel. It’s officially a no.

A woman played the drums without the rest of her band, and another woman exploded soda cans with her hands. A fellow danced in a chicken suit, and a cowboy did rope tricks on a unicycle. He got an X with Howard’s butt, and then Howard went on stage. Everyone had a good laugh at these people’s expense.

A 6-year old sings and dances for the next act, and if he had a million dollars he would be “so happy.” He certainly is adorable, but is he talented? Isaac Ryan Brown is verbose, confident, and unintentionally funny. He’s not knock-your-socks-off great like Jackie Evancho, but he is charming enough to make the audience chant “Vegas.” Howie tells Isaac that he has the whole package, and Isaac says what matters is that it’s coming from the heart. He is so cute, even I am won over! The judges love him, and it’s a yes.

Can that cuteness be topped? Probably not, so here’s Spencer Horseman, the world’s youngest escape artist. He is not 6, he is 26. Unlike that guy who “escaped” from ropes in a chair, the audience is transfixed. They scream as he gets his arms uncrossed, but his legs are still stuck. He releases his legs at the very last second, and it is absolutely thrilling. I gasped! He’s through to Vegas.

Some creepy Toddlers & Tiaras-esque Irish dancers went through to Las Vegas, and a hip hop violinist, a guitar player, some other guy, and another dance group will join them there. Jake Wesley Rogers got a little more air time because he’s a skinny white guy with a guitar, a Bieber haircut and glasses. He’s through, too.

Oh god, it’s Little Ozzy. All he wanted was to make sure Sharon Osbourne sees it, so mission accomplished. Real Ozzy is at a dog show. Little Ozzy performs the song that Ozzy wrote for Sharon, and she seems genuinely touched. Things take a turn for the worse, though and two X’s later the audience is booing him to no end. He gets a hug from Sharon, but that’s all.

There’s one every year, and this year the “danger act” is the Cut Throat Freak Show. I do not care for acts like this, the ones that hang things from their eyelids and poke holes through their faces with needles. It’s a yes for Howard, it’s a no for Sharon (“I caaaan’t!”), but it’s a yes from Howie so Sharon will have to cover her eyes again.

This next guy wants to be a movie trailer voice guy. That’s what he wants to do. Is it a million dollar act? Absolutely not, but it’s an interesting gimmick. Oh, but Ron Christopher Porter Jr. is sensitive. He crumples when Howard gives him an X. He’s right, it’s not a show. Ron asks if he can announce the coming acts, and when he’s told that that’s Nick’s job, he apologizes. But the judges say he can hang out with Nick for the rest of the day, and this is thrilling news for everyone.

Recycling truck driver Curtis Butts Bey is terrible, but at least Ron Christopher Porter Jr. announced him to the stage! And then he got to go up on stage and have fun with Nick behind this character. Say what you will, but Nick’s new partner is a natural. I would love to hang out with him.

Would you like to see Ron Christopher Porter Jr. again? I would like to see him co-host the show with Nick.

(images courtesy of NBC)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).