We are officially done with auditions. It’s been exhausting, hasn’t it? This being my first year covering American Idol, the intensity and loyalty it takes to weather the month-long audition marathon has left me beaten and battered. Yet, I loved every second of it. We give Simon and Randy a lot of crap for laughing during auditions and generally being mean to the contestants, but I’m actually surprised at the restraint they show. If I’m fed up with the delusional contestants after watching eight episodes from my couch, I can’t imagine how tired the judges are after the hundreds of auditions they have to endure. Isn’t it incredible that the judges can make it through the seven city stretch without being heavily medicated? (Oh, wait. Don’t answer that.)
Last night’s episode highlighted unseen footage the best of the best and worst of the worst from all the cities that FOX didn’t have time to show during the previous seven episodes. Overall, it felt similar to any of the other audition episodes, except that the best weren’t as good as the best from the other episodes. The worst were still painfully horrendous, which was expected. Here is a look at all of the featured performers from last night.
Paul Kim: Paul Kim is upset with William Hung. You see, Paul is a proud member of the Asian community and doesn’t like how Mr. Hung represented his Asian brethren. His reasons are valid, but if William Hung represents any cultural subset, its “tone-deaf attention whores” or “people who indict the concept of celebrity” or, maybe, aliens. (Either way, Hung and Paris Hilton have a lot in common). Anyway, Paul is a very good singer, with a powerful, husky voice. He’s going to Hollywood.
Bo Bice Impersonator: Jack decides to sing Bo Bice’s signature a capella song. He butchers it. Afterwards, he claims that he’ll never, ever give up. How do you tell someone with a good attitude that, yes, in fact, they should give up?
Gina, the Return: Gina, who had auditioned in season 5, returns and tells Simon that she is still in love with him. Cool. She sings “Black Velvet” and, while her audition wasn’t my cup of tea, the judges like her uniqueness and send her to Hollywood.
Edward Loves Paula: Edward Sanchez is in love with Paula Abdul. Paula gives him a hug. Unfortunately, Edward can’t sing. Simon, like the jackass he is, defers the comments to Paula, who must tell him the truth: he sucks.
The Roller-Girls: So, I guess the best way to get on TV is to go the gimmick route. Three girls come in on roller-skates, all wearing the same costume. Surprisingly, they’re all pretty good. In a brutal verdict, however, two of them go on to Hollywood, one doesn’t.
Mango Shirt: Wes is a singing/songwriting prodigy who comes in and sings his own song. It’s a terrible song, and it’s sung horribly. Who is to blame? Wes the songwriter or Wes the singer?
Flexible Alex: Alex is a really flexible, really flamboyant dude. Congrats. He’s terrible at singing, yet the judges give him their sympathy because Alex is quite emotional, always about to cry.
Lakisha: Lakisha chooses Aretha’s “Think” as her audition song, which is usually a death wish. She does a good job with it, however, and the judges eat her up. Lakisha’s on to Hollywood.
And, there you have it. No more auditions for 2007. For some, this is good news, for some, bad. Now we embark on finding the next American Idol. I’ll be back next week for to cover the first two episodes from Hollywood.
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer