Previously on A Double Shot at Love: The lesbians and guys met the Ikki Twins separately before discovering that they’re actually on a reality show with bisexual twins. The guys, conditioned by beer commercials, went insane.

The show’s first competition pits the boys against the girls by having them throw paint-filled balloons over a wall to get the other team’s twin bed dirty. The unemployed sad sack Ben is forced to sit out. Before time runs out, Jersey boy Scott throws the pillows and sheets over the wall, getting them disqualified.

The girls win and go to the hot tub where Rebekah is named MVP and gets to kiss both the twins. Kandi sings rather poorly and boasts about her six-pound breasts. It’s still disturbing to think that shortly after being eliminated, she died in a car accident.

The boys and girls go to their bedroom where they notice a stripper pole. James takes the honor of being the homophobe who says a guy can do anything that a dildo or a lesbian’s fingers can, so there’s no reason for the lesbians not to have sex with an actual man. By that logic, since a man’s posterior region and a girl’s special area are similar enough, why doesn’t he just have sex with dudes?

That’s interrupted by a trip to Club Ikki, the mansion’s bar, where Nick notices Rebekah and Xoe trying to hook up with Josh. Rikki is sad that she can’t trust these people. Yeah, as if she and Vikki are really bisexual. The lesbians explain that they were just being friendly, not flirting, and Josh confirms this. Rikki gets even more emotional.

Fantastic, we now have a way to tell them apart! Whichever twin is overly emotional and starts crying at the drop of a hat is Rikki. The next day they also let us know Rikki has a rounder face while Vikki’s is narrow. Also, Vikki will start wearing her hair up to make things easier.

They all go to sleep, and Josh and Rosemarie, one of the alleged lesbians, start making out. Everyone hears them and the next morning they get called out. To deflect attention from herself, Rosemarie yells at Xoe because she admitted to having so many three-ways she can’t remember the number. Rosemarie then flips out and calls Xoe a “skankbot,” which is my new favorite word of the day.

At brunch, the Ikki Twins sit down with conservative James who compares gay marriage to bestiality, then says that he can prove homosexuality is wrong on scientific, moral and religious grounds. First, no he can’t. And second, he does not want to bring up scientific proof in any discussion of religion.

The next conflict is that Rebekah has a four-and-a-half-year-old kid at home, and while Jen wants to use this intel against her, Rebekah tells the Ikki Twins herself and they’re OK with it. Coop is extremely boring, and when the girls ask him to be silly, he farts. For real.

A Double Shot at Love Elimination Time! For the women, Kandi is eliminated. She goes out with class, then cries outside. As for the guys, three of them are going home. The first one eliminated is James. Scientifically, morally, and religiously, I’m glad to see him gone. Coop is eliminated for farting on his date with the Ikki Twins. Ben is the third guy sent home because he’s a huge loser and the Ikki Twins are so far out of his league that I’m surprised he can even see them.

After the episode, Rikki and Vikki do a somber tribute to Kandice Hutchison, aka Kandi, who was tragically killed in a car accident on October 22.

Next week on A Double Shot at Love: It’s time for the bi-athlon, and the EMTs are called in. I’m pretty sure the two aren’t related. Also, five people will go home, meaning two-thirds of the contestants will be eliminated in the first three episodes.

John Kubicek

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

John watches nearly every show on TV, but he specializes in sci-fi/fantasy like The Vampire DiariesSupernatural and True Blood. However, he can also be found writing about everything from Survivor and Glee to One Tree Hill and Smallville.