So remember how a couple weeks ago we saw photos of former Bachelor Jake Pavelka, former Hills boobs Heidi Montag, former Real Housewives of New Jersey wife Danielle Staub, former Eliot Spitzer doll Ashley Dupre and former rappers with actual cred Three 6 Mafia’s DJ Paul and Juicy J all having lunch together? (Oh, and Vincent Pastore was there too, because why not?)

Now I can finally stop tossing and turning, because we finally know what it’s all about!

The reality show they’re filming is for VH1 (of course) and it’s called Famous Food. (More like Famous Barf. Nailed it.)

The group of pop culture has-beens will work together to launch a restaurant in West Hollywood. (Cue mental image of Heidi Montag scrubbing toilets. Danielle Staub flipping burgers. Jake Pavelka wearing a sandwich board and getting trash thrown at him by hobos. Meghan Carlson smiling and programming her DVR.)

It’s like a mix between Celebrity Apprentice, Kitchen Nightmares and The Surreal Life: Two actual restaurateurs will assign the “celebrities” weekly tasks including creating a concept, marketing, hiring staff, and planning the grand opening. Then, at the end of the 10 episode (!) series, they will evaluate the team’s work and pick one cast member who will become a partner in the restaurant.

Fine. Fine. I will probably watch this, but only for the chance to watch Jake Pavelka flip out and once again reveal his true, Dexter-like core. But I can think of at least ten other operations I’d rather watch these people run than a boring old restaurant. (Besides “away from my television.”)

Totally spit-balling here:

  1. Public pool
  2. Daycare center
  3. Library (HAHAHA, pretending those still exist)
  4. Failing Blockbuster
  5. Taxi cab company
  6. Submarine
  7. Lunar space station
  8. Clown college
  9. Shopping mall cell phone kiosk
  10. Comedy and/or poetry slam club

There you go, VH1. More free ideas. Just as good, totally free ideas.

(Image courtesy of WENN)