Date Number 2: Jillian greets Reid with a beach ball in her hand. Whatever the symbolism, it is lost on me. And not just me: neither she nor Reid seem to understand what it's for, nor does it ever come into play. It's literally just a prop that makes for more interesting shots, since people who are constantly kissing seem to (so annoyingly) hide their faces from the camera. Give me something to look at while you make me second-hand embarrassed about your (not at all) intimate moment!
Jillian is concerned about Reid's ability to communicate with her, so she puts him in headphones and shoves him into a screaming, high-velocity helicopter for the afternoon. They look at each other a lot. The pilot makes things awkward by telling them he's ordained, so they could just get married RIGHT NOW! Reid: "Part of me thinks we should just do it!" (Translation: "I would sooner jump to my death than do something as rushed and corny as that. Who am I, that guy who proposed with song and dance at Disneyland last week
?") The copter lands, and it's picnic time again. So many picnics! At a certain point (and I'm thinking it's "when you're doing it on every date") it's less of a "picnic" each time, and more of some overall "weird thing you have about eating on the ground," Jillian.
Reid tells Jillian that the talk of marriage didn't freak him out, but he 1) does feel rushed by the 9-week
time-frame of this relationship, and 2) does feel concerned that he is supposed to be contemplating marriage when it is highly possible she will dump him tomorrow like yesterday's picnic scraps. He also has a hard time expressing his emotions [on national TV for a woman he has been on basically four dates with and who continues to see other people], and this concerns Jillian, because she wants to hear that he loves her and that he wants to put on a ring on it.
Then there's a long shot of them making out.
Time for dinner, brought to you by two freaky totem poles who seem to say without sound, "There is no such thing as love":
Reid is the guy she "can relate to the most," says Jillian, although she has a really hard time communicating with him. Oh no, Dr. Trusty, we're running out of space in your office for all these degrees you have in NOT UNDERSTANDING WHAT WORDS MEAN. They talk about where they would live if they got married. Jillian: "Wherever, I'm easy!" Reid: "Sounds good." She asks if he would be ready to propose in a week, and he says "Maybe, it's possible." (Translation: "Of course not. I am an adult, and this is television.") It's uncomfortable. Reid can't find the right words to say how he feels, but Jillian knows it's they are in there somewhere, and she intends to find them. With a strip search.WELCOME TO THE BONE ZONE (Remember the rules? Page 1, people!):
Jillian brings out the envelope offering "the fantasy suite," and Reid reads it. He admits he is scared, because last time this happened he was denied of "their alone time in the fantasy suite" and he's afraid it will happen again. Jill sits for a minute and considers if she feels up to "taking their relationship to the next level." She decides it's the right time for "it." They lay down in the suite, and he knows she is waiting for "the L word," but he doesn't like to throw it around carelessly, you know? He likes to bring it out slowly and meaningfully. They share a champagne bubble bath before spending all night investigating "each other's souls."Date Number 3:
It's Ed. And all episode, we've been dealing with teasers about someone not being able to get up in the Bone Zone, so now the obligatory E.D. jokes begin as well. As well as ABC's euphemistic foreshadowing, which I will spell out for you using my CAPS LOCK key. You're welcome.
Jillian says she is looking for a HUGE SIGN from Ed that he's the right guy for her. They board a boat, and Ed is wearing a tank top. Weird. Jillian oozes about what a SEXY man Ed is, and Ed drools over what a SEXY woman Jillian is. He tells her that he doesn't think about work anymore, only about being with her. She says she wishes she could have met his family, and he admits they used to call him "RICHIE" when he was a kid because
of how well-endowed...
they needed to distinguish him from his dad. They go for a swim, and Jill gushes about how much she loves to WRAP HER LEGS AROUND HIM. Ed is wearing this green, sort of European short-shorts thing. His wardrobe went from weird to concerning. He then reveals that he's flown out his parents to Hawaii to meet Jillian, and she's thrilled. You can always tell when Jillian's thrilled, because the squeals become deafening.
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