Bachelor contestant Monica Spannbauer caused quite a stir with viewers when she appeared to come on to fellow contestant Blakeley the first night — though, Monica explained in her conference call with the media yesterday, those were strictly “friendship” (and alcohol induced?) feelings and nothing more.

Whether you believe that explanation is up to you. Personally, I’m buying it, if only because Monica went on to be delightfully, hilariously candid in the rest of her answers. The 33-year-old dental consultant sort of faded into the background after her “bisexual” controversy that first week, so we didn’t get the greatest sense of her personality. But she clearly got a sense of what the other contestants, and Ben, were like — and she wasn’t shy about spilling what she knew. Call me crazy, but if Monica felt comfortable calling this season’s villain Courtney a “manipulative […] weird duck” who’s “absolutely wrong” for Ben and had to take four hour naps before every activity, I feel like she’d probably admit if she had a little one-night crush on a VIP cocktail waitress.

Check out what Monica had to say about Ben, Courtney, Kacie B. and the rest of the women on The Bachelor this season. She didn’t hold back. And for that, I wish I could give her a rose.

On whether she suspected she’d be eliminated (and why she wore that terrible dress!):
Through a conversation that Ben and I had, which obviously was off camera, I kind of suspected I was going home. For the record, that’s why I wore this ridiculous dress that I wore that night. It was a joke. I’ve had this dress for 15 years and it has huge red roses on it and I knew I was going home that night. [The Rose Ceremony location] was a 30-minute drive to my house. I just had this intuitive feeling and I felt like he wasn’t feeling anything for me as much as I wasn’t feeling for him. And so, I kind of made a joke to everybody that I already got my rose. It was on my dress.

So, I wasn’t paying attention and I was shocked to go, “Oh yeah, I’m the last one.” But I kind of felt like I was going home, regardless. I just didn’t think I would be the only one going home. (Laughs) But I guess since Samantha had gone home earlier, I knew Emily was staying. She’s a great girl. I mean, I don’t think everybody gets to see the actual depth of Emily. She is funny and she’s pretty and she’s smart and she’s quirky. She’s just an all-around great girl. So, I never thought he was sending her home. I didn’t realize she was so worried, you know?

On what she thought of Ben:
I have never seen the show. So, I got onto this show by completely being nominated by a friend. So, I haven’t fallen in love with Ben like some of these girls have by watching his character on the last season. And so, I literally came in knowing four things about this man and the first night, we had a chance to talk and I thought he was kind of stuffy and kind of boring. As I got to know him, he’s really fun. Like I said in my exit thing, he’s quirky and funny and he’s definitely a guy I’d want to hang out with — just not a guy I’d want to date.

On what actually happened between her and Blakeley that first night:
(Laughs) I knew this one was coming. (Laughs) So you arrive at the house, or the mansion, in a limo with five other ladies or four other ladies — there’s five total. And Blakeley, everybody in the limo was, believe it or not, Courtney was in my limo, Anna Snowball was in there, and Blakeley and I just kind of hit it off. They were much younger than me and we were close in age and we just hit it off as friends. She was funny and we laughed, and I mean, when you get out of that limo, you’re nervous as can be, and I obviously forgot my line. You walk into the lion’s den, so I’ll call it, and it was kind of nice to have somebody on your arm — like a friend going somewhere with you. And that’s what it felt like with Blakeley. I liked her a lot. I think she’s a really nice girl.

She was nervous. So as far as did that really happen, yeah. It wasn’t under the context of me being bisexual or into her. Absolutely not. I was kind of telling [someone] this, I was aware of the cameras and aware of anything that was happening around me, but not really aware that they could hear me whispering. (Laughs) I wasn’t trying to get her number to be her girlfriend. We’re not supposed to talk to each other, so I was kind of trying to break the rules saying, “Look, if all we get out of this — If we go home tonight and all I get is making a new friend, then this is awesome.” You know? Who cares. I just wasn’t stressed about getting on film. I was just trying to be comforting. It’s funny.

On what she thought of Courtney:
I never had a problem with her. At all. She said very rotten things to the other girls. I became really close with the other women and they would consult with me or use me as kind of their base. They called me “Momma Bear,” which is so funny, because I was always just like consoling them. I don’t like the way she treated people, but I personally never had an issue, ever.

On what she thinks of how Ben seems to be falling for Courtney:
Yeah, I have no idea. I was rooting for Kacie B. the whole way and I still am. I think she’s the sweetest, most wonderful girl and Courtney picked on her, which made me very protective of her. I don’t know. I don’t really read any of the stuff that people are saying because I don’t want to read my own, but Courtney’s not very nice. I think she kind of deserves everything that’s coming towards her. I can validate that she’s somebody different around a group of women than she is around a man, and she is really manipulative and really good at what she does. And obviously, that’s the kind of girl that Ben’s looking for, at least to this point. So, I don’t know. I mean, I kind of think if they end up together, they deserve each other. Because if he’s that shallow and she’s that manipulative, then they totally work together, you know?

On why she thinks Ben doesn’t deserve Kacie B.:
Yeah, going through the process, I formed a very close relationship with Kacie B. Like I said, I see myself in her. She’s nine years younger, she’s the sweetest most adorable thing. What you see is what you get, honestly. And I really saw a very genuine, real side of Ben while filming all of this and I thought, “Hands down, choose Kacie B. Like, what am I doing here?” That’s kind of why I was glad I left. I felt like I was going to date her boyfriend and I couldn’t do that, you know?

So, watching the show now though, I really hope he doesn’t pick Kacie B. I really don’t, because I don’t think he’s deserving of what a kind and beautiful person she is and I don’t think it’s fair. I think he’ll break her heart. And to be honest with you, if he did pick her and they’re in this wonderful state of a new relationship, and they’re having to watch this awfulness, that’s just detrimental to a relationship. And if it’s Courtney, she obviously can just walk it off and say, “Winning!” You know? And won’t care. So, that’s where you kind of hear a little bitterness from me. I didn’t see this side of Ben and it’s very disappointing, because I do feel like he’s genuine and a real person, but the choices he’s making, it’s certainly being a man and being manipulated. [What] Emily was trying to do wasn’t even for her own sake. It was, “Do you not see what’s happening?” You’re honestly trying not to see this and I’m giving you a heads up.

On Courtney getting the rose on this week’s group date:
I don’t see a lot of this stuff. I’m watching it now with the public and when I see Ben’s reaction with Courtney, I’m dead shocked. I knew he liked her, but just last week when they went on the group date, she came back with the rose and everybody was 100% percent convinced that Courtney was going to shoot herself in the foot because she doesn’t do well with us and she’s obviously a very great actress or a manipulative person with Ben. We all thought she manipulated him and he gave her the rose, which I thought was the worst decision ever! It really put everybody on edge. They were absolutely beside themselves in tears going, “If this is the kind of girl he wants, I don’t know if I should even be here.”

On which girls she thinks are frontrunners, and who might be there “for the wrong reasons”:
I don’t know if anybody was there necessarily for the wrong reasons. It just depends on what their reasons are for, you know? I think everybody was at least open to the idea of finding love, but possibly skeptical. For me, it came off as, “Hey, I’m the tough girl and I’m here for the wrong reasons.” Especially me, I know America was looking at me going, “Why is this girl on the show? She has no interest in him?” I went completely open-minded. I think, for sure, Nicki [Sterling]. I think hands down, Nicki is a beautiful individual. She’s got a heart of gold and I do think she’s a little bit — she’s very emotionally invested in this, obviously, as well as Kacie B and Emily. So I felt like at the point of when I was there, they would have been great matches for him. But those are probably the only three that I can pick out that for sure, I can actually see Ben with.

On Ben and Courtney’s skinny dipping next week, and what she thinks of Courtney’s strategy:
I’m not surprised because after watching, like I said, Courtney was not shy about making it very obvious to the rest of us women that she felt better than us. I mean, she’s kind of a weird duck. She really is. She had to take a four-hour nap before every event. So if Ben picks her, I hope he’s aware of this. She takes long naps. I’m not surprised. I feel like Courtney’s going to pull out any gun or any ammo necessary to make this work for her, because I do — it is a competition in a way — but when feelings get involved, and a lot of these girls did have feelings, I don’t think it’s a competition anymore. It just becomes about you and him and how this is going to be. I feel like everything Courtney does is to spite the women or it’s almost kind of like wrenching that something to hurt everybody and not necessarily to get Ben. I mean, listen. I wouldn’t go skinny dipping with him, and it’s not because I’m prudish or not cool, it’s just like what’s the point? What for? I don’t get it.

On whether she thinks Ben is now watching the season from home in shock, realizing he got to know a completely different side of Courtney than the viewers see:
Absolutely, I do. I watched two interviews with Jimmy Kimmel and this and that, and I watched Ellen yesterday, and for the first time ever, knowing the little bit I know about Ben’s personality, he’s not so lighthearted and easy going about it anymore. He either wants to solely protect her because he did choose her or he’s all of a sudden going, “Wow.” Because his mom and sister are fairly conservative and he’s kind of had a good time on this journey. I wasn’t going to be mean. I wasn’t going to worry about it, but he does care about what his family thinks and I guarantee they’re not looking at her as a very nice girl for Ben.

Do you agree with Monica — do Ben and Courtney “deserve each other”? Or are you hoping he’ll end up with a nice girl like Kacie?

(Image courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.