'Teen Wolf' Recap: When You're Going Through Hell, Take Off Your Shirt
'Teen Wolf' Recap: When You're Going Through Hell, Take Off Your Shirt
Laurel Brown
Laurel Brown
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Fighting. Existential angst. Shirtlessness. Psychotic rage. Lacrosse. "Battlefield" had it all. Relive it with this Teen Wolf recap!

Survival Is Key

Stiles is having issues. This is fair. After all, he's friends with a werewolf. That werewolf has become distant and distracted because his Mommy won't accept Scott's wolfiness and just hides in her room all of the time. Stiles' girlfriend-by-proxy, Allison, is also distant now that her Mommy's crazy eyes have closed for the last time.

And the frenemies aren't any better. Matt(!) has drowned (again), leading Stiles to get all deep with the metaphors and stuff. Jackson is a sad, clawed reptile. Lydia seems semi-normal, but that's just because Stiles doesn't know about the drugged party punch or werewolf resurrection.

Even Stiles' relationship with his dad -- which should have improved now that the complete decimation of the police force required Mr. Stilinksi's reinstatement as Sheriff -- remains strained.

Oh, and Stiles might have to actually play lacrosse in the big final match, thanks to most of the team being either dead or a monster.

Basically, Stiles is going through hell. The Mysterious Guidance Counselor becomes suddenly awesome when advising Stiles and quotes some Winston Churchill at the boy. Survival is key here! That's all Stiles has to do -- keep going through his hell and survive.

Surely he can do that...


Threats and Shirtlessness

Stiles isn't the only one going through hell. But at least Scott has the decency to get half-naked before his problems begin.

Scott emerges from his steamy, beautiful bathroom to a rather surprising sight -- the kanima is dangling Mrs. McCall from the ceiling. I'm not sure if it's more or less surprising to Scott that Grandpa Gerard has made himself at home in the room as well.

Gerard has come to provide motivation. Scott either turns on Derek and the puppy pack, or else Grandpa uses his lizard-boy to do bad things to Mommy. Why does Grandpa Gerard care so much? That would be because of Crazy Aunt Kate. The equally crazy old man wants to get his vengeance on.

Although Grandpa and Jackson leave without actually harming anyone, Mrs. McCall is a bit shaken. She tells Scott to just go with whatever Gerard wants.


I Wouldn't Want to Live in a Subterranean Lair Either

Derek, meanwhile, is still in his hellish lair, subjecting a whole bunch of dusty books to his forceful glare. Boyd and Erika rudely interrupt this to inform their leader that he pretty much sucks and that they'd rather learn how to drive than hang out forever in Derek's wrecked train.

They have a point. The Puppies also mention that they heard the howls of a new pack echoing through the creepy woods. So of course they want to go join that pack. After all, it can't be worse than Derek's pack, can it?

Derek briefly tries to talk the kids out of it, explaining something about modulated wolf howls and a word even weirder than "bestiary." The Puppies neither understand nor buy it.

And Derek is left alone with his glare.


Use the Force, Isaac

Where is Isaac throughout the brooding and teenage rebellion? The most emo of Derek's Puppies has decided to visit the Vet and seek Scott's counsel. Why Isaac thinks that Scott has answers -- even Scott admits to being clueless about roughly everything -- we'll never know. But they bond and stuff, so that's cool.

Isaac also learns some important lessons from Yoda the Vet about using his werewolf powers for good. This means sniffing out cancer and then relieving dog-pain via creepy black veins.

That's new.


Today, We Celebrate Our Independence Day!

Alas, Isaac and Scott can't just spend their time mind-melding with sick dogs. There's lacrosse to play!

And there are multiple locker-room speeches to get through. First, our favorite Lacrosse Coach offers a rousing rendition of the President's speech from the hit film Independence Day. This is because the Coach is awesome. Grandpa Gerard follows (don't forget -- he's the principal!) and literally tells the boys to commit murder. This is because Grandpa is psycho.


Stiles Gets in the Game

Despite having reached the big championship game, the Beacon Hills lacrosse team is having some problems. One co-captain has turned into a lizard-inclined zombie. The other co-captain is benched for having failed pretty much all of his classes. Isaac has disappeared into werewolf land. Matt has gone to his watery grave.

This just leaves Stiles to play.

And we quickly find out why Stiles is usually a benchwarmer. He's terrible. Not even a loving and so-close-to-proud father can find much to cheer about. But at this point, Stiles just has to survive the game.

Surely he can do that...


The Villain Reveals His Dastardly Plan

Having warmed up with that earlier murder speech, Grandpa Gerard is ready to whisper his plan to Scott's super-hearing ears. Scott has until the final 30 seconds of the game to give up the whereabouts of Derek and the pack, or else Grandpa is going to unleash hellish fury upon the lacrosse fans.

Grandpa emphasizes this with help from zombie Jackson, a few specific threats and that never-explained box of pills.

Before Grandpa can carry out his heads-ripped-off-as-the-stands-run-red-with-blood threats, however, Scott gets unexpected support from two camps. Isaac shows up first, ready to help beat Gerard and win a lacrosse game. Unfortunately, Isaac's help backfires a bit when Jackson paralyzes Isaac on the field.

Scott's second bit of help comes when his mother runs out onto the field (as mothers so often do, mid-game) for a pep talk. Mrs. McCall has decided that Gerard is evil (duh) and wants Scott to fight.

Too bad Grandpa Gerard picks this moment to offer Scott the gift of Allison in exchange for Derek. Could Scott actually go for that deal?


Allison Embraces Her (Crazy) Heritage

Speaking of Allison...

Erika and Boyd have run off in search of their new werewolf family, only to find out that the "werewolves" are just recordings. Recordings carried by hunters. On ATVs.

Being the incompetent werewolves that they are, the Puppies don't get too far before Allison brings down Erika with a well-placed arrow. Boyd tries to help, but just gets multiple arrows for his trouble.

It's safe to say that this is a new, badass, kinda-psycho Allison. The girl's behavior is even enough to trouble Mr. Argent, who points out that killing other kids is kind of bad. Allison doesn't care. She just whips out her cell phone to call Grandpa about a successful capture.

Scott might want to seriously reconsider his desire to connect with the Argent family.


In Other Psycho Family News

After his Puppies left, Derek obviously wanted some quality glaring time. But family never does let you glare in peace, do they? And Derek has family again -- Peter Hale shows up for a little bit of bonding and fighting.

Peter quickly points out that Derek is something of a miserable failure when it comes to being an Alpha. But Peter just wants to help! It seems that coming back from the dead has left the old Alpha weak and disinterested in leadership, so Peter now wants to be a mentor.

After some hardcore werewolf fighting, Derek actually begins to listen to this. As he should, considering that Peter Hale is making sense.

(Note: How scary is it that the season 1 psycho seems sane now?)

So what's the plan? Peter thinks that they can save Jackson from himself by reasserting the boy's identity. This will most likely require learning Jackson's birth name and then reaching that small, cold heart with the warmth of love. And it just so happens that Peter has a connection to the one person (other than Danny, of course) capable of reaching that love -- Lydia.


Victory or ...?

Back at the most epic lacrosse game in the history of all mankind ("Mankind, that word should have new meaning for all of us today..."), Gerard almost takes out the paralyzed Isaac with his sword and some poetry. But then Scott saves Isaac. Somehow. I guess. We don't exactly see that part.

Never mind. Because there's lacrosse! Lacrosse is far more important.

The lacrosse game is somehow still going, even though Beacon Hills is definitely down a player or two by this point. The team is so thoroughly decimated, in fact, that the ball manages to reach Stiles.

Not that Stiles has much confidence left at this point. He does pick up the lacrosse ball, hesitantly, but then runs away screaming as the other players advance. Luckily, Stiles runs straight at the opposing team's net and manages to throw the ball in for a point.

Stiles scores! And then, confidence blooming into brilliance, he scores again! And again!

Of course, none of this will matter much when the bloodbath begins. The game clock ticks downward to that 30-second mark and... Nothing happens. Sure, there's a lot of slow-motion anticipation, but the game clock manages to reach 0 without incident.

Have they made it through hell?

Maybe not. The lights suddenly go out around the field as the screaming begins. The spectators mostly run in fear, but only one person seems hurt. It's Jackson, lying motionless on the grass. He appears to have bullet wounds in his torso, but Scott and Isaac identify the holes as self-inflicted claw punctures.

Did Jackson just sacrifice himself to save the others?

You'd think this would be the big question of the moment. But it's not. Jackson isn't really the most important issue here, because there is a notable absence on the field.

Where is Stiles? Did he not survive this hell after all?


How did Scott beat Grandpa Gerard? Is Jackson dead? Has Allison gone to the Dark Side? Is survival even a possibility without Stiles? Just one more episode left in Teen Wolf season 2 to find out the answers!

(Images courtesy of MTV)


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