Did you watch the
RuPaul's Drag Race grand finale last night? One of the things I love about the show is that whether you've watched every episode or none at all, the show is so visually ridiculous, with the hilarious soundbites to match, that -- true to the drag queen spirit -- if you're not entertained when you tune in, you're probably just dead. Sorry about being dead. For the rest of us though,
Drag Race is delightful!
Every episode was spectacular this season, but last night's finale was particularly visually arresting, from the queens' freaky choreographer, to their dramatic music video outfits, to their final runway looks.
So whether you watched the hour and just want to relive the magic, or you didn't and just want to see what a full-body snuggie with high-heeled clogs looks like, venture on. It's a Drag Race Ridiculousness Celebration! 
Ru's
right-hand-woman Michelle Visage stops by to explain the final
challenge. I believe the height of her hair is meant to symbolize the
difficult climb ahead for the final three queens.
LOOK
AT THEIR CHOREOGRAPHER! Oh my god. This is just him from the front. You
think that's merely a cut-off sweatshirt? Think again... 
THERE
IT IS! He's wearing a FULL red cotton jumpsuit, AKA jammies. He is
wearing JAMMIES. With high-heeled brown clog pump things. While teaching
three drag queens how to move like Greek goddesses. While balancing
what appears to be a baby groundhog on his head. My heart is singing.
Another look at my Halloween 2011 costume, and just another day at the office for Alexis Mateo and her greased up man servant.
Ru
invited each of the final three for a chat over "dinner," and this is
what she served each of them: A single orange jellybean. (Or a Mexican
diet pill?) So THAT'S how Ru stays so svelte!
Like
a true Greek goddess, Ru forced her dolls to do free labor as their
final challenge: Dance in her new music video, "Champion." The smoke
really added to the "high-end sorority hazing" feel of the whole thing!
RuPaul,
meanwhile, waged a three-way bigness war between her dress, her hair
and her gigantic orange hair flower. Something about it just screams
"Orange Julias Jubilee."
The first to "sashay away," Alexis gave the other girls fair (and weird) warning. The jig! It's UP!
The final Lipsync for your LIFE! Who will win ... ?
Oh NO, Raja! I'm sorry! Don't be so sad, it's OK, gurrrrl! ... Oh, wait, that's her winning face? Well. Uh. My bad.
That's Manila's "Resisting the urge to cut you with my diamond donuts" face.
The
last thing Manila said was also the best thing Manila said: "Maybe Raja
will die of old age and then I'll get the crown." Ha!
Until
then, Raja reigns supreme as America's Next Drag Superstar. And what a
starry tiara she won! Doesn't it make you wish Tyra gave her Top Model
winners an actual crown? Condragulations, Raja. Now let the music PLAY!
Already missing
Drag Race? You're in luck: The reunion special
airs next Monday at 10pm on LOGO. Have thoughts on the epic finale and
this season's winner? Comments, queens!
(Images courtesy of LOGO)