'New Girl' Recap: 'Tomatoes' Are No Substitute for Happiness
'New Girl' Recap: 'Tomatoes' Are No Substitute for Happiness
Jenn Lee
Jenn Lee
Staff Writer, BuddyTV
This week, Jess realized the missing passion in her relationship with Russell courtesy of his ex-wife Ouli, Nick gave up on women to become a tomato farmer and Schmidt dated Cece's crazy Russian roommate, Nadia. There was a naked gym shower scene, some broken nether regions and an ass shake-off - it was weird and comical, a wonderful combination we've now come to expect from the awkward world of New Girl.

Nick's Tomato Soul-Searching
Nick tells his three roommates, along with their respective significant others (Winston's lovebird Shelby, Schmidt's sex buddy Cece and Jess' mature boyfriend Russell), that he has denounced women and embarked on a journey to become a tomato farmer. No one really cares, but Nick genuinely attempts this newfound path, battling birds ("sky rats from hell") and his clear disdain for Winston's in-your-face romance while trying to grow an honest tomato. He ultimately fails and when he blows up at Winston for essentially being happy without him, he realizes tomatoes aren't going to cut it. This forces him to relapse and hook up with his ex Caroline, which disappoints Jess, forcing a heated argument between the two and an absurd competition as to who can shake their butt faster.

Jess Tries to Ignite the Fire
When Jess meets Ouli (guest star Jeanne Tripplehorn) at the gym, she deflects from the awkwardness of seeing her boyfriend's ex naked by inviting her to dinner. There she witnesses the intense hatred the two have for one another - which can easily tip into something passionate, a realization that causes Jess to instigate a fight of her own with Russell later. But Mr. Fancyman, ever the grounded gentleman, isn't inspired by Jess' jabs ("I hate this shirt!"; "I hate that you have so many coasters - are you just coasting through life?"). Ultimately, Jess admits "something's missing" and that she wants that spark Russell and his ex clearly possess. Sadly, Russell says he's past that point in his life and that "passion's overrated." Jess disagrees and the two end things, but not before Jess can worsen the situation by failing to exit Russell's "Batmobile" of complicated buttons and gadgets.

Meet Nadia, the Russian who was kicked out of Russia
Schmidt and Cece continue to deny their feelings for one another when Schmidt agrees to date Cece's Russian model roommate Nadia. Certainly one of the weirder minor characters we've seen, Nadia is more of a sex fiend than even Schmidt, the philandering douche. Also, she likes the following:

  • Salad bar
  • Despicable Me
  • Tosh 2.0
  • Connect 4
  • Freedom of speech
  • David Fincher
  • Sidewalk
  • 1-800-SLIM
  • "Your mama" jokes
  • Strawberry
  • Wilmer Velmavelma
  • Leon J. Panetta
  • Ice skating for fun, not to save life

  • Her crazed bedroom antics send Schmidt into the hospital with "a broken penis," and when Cece rushes over to check on him, she finally admits what has been so painfully obvious for so long: "I like you." The overzealous Schmidt is thrilled with this news, but unfortunately can't show his affections in his present state and his breakthrough moment with Cece is cut short by a cry for a "heavyset male nurse" that looks like "a battered highway cone."

    Finally Moving Forward - Sort Of
    Schmidt and Cece finally openly admitting they like each other? Nick and Jess ending in a blowout fight that looked strikingly similar to Russell and Ouli's - directly paralleling the passion Jess desires? I'd say we are making real progress to the happy land of Schmidt + Cece and Nick + Jess (and as we saw this week, Winston + Shelby are doing very well - perhaps too well). But there's no way this group can all maintain healthy, happy relationships for long, and we're not quite there yet. With only two episodes of the season left, how will their stories play out? When are things going to get serious with Nick and Jess? Tune in next week to find out!

    (Image courtesy of FOX)

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