We deal with the aftermath of the last episode as Wade encounters his own version of The Hangover, George Tucker is unusually happy for discovering his fiance cheated on him and Zoe finds hope/solace at the prospects of destiny.

The Bartender, the Hangover

We open up on Wade, clearly hungover from drinking. His brother is nowhere to be found (later Justin Hartley fans!). Wade slept with someone … well, Lavon says it best: “That is a large garment.” Uh-huh.

Unfortunately for Wade, Tom walks in. Oh, no … but somewhere out there a deranged shipper is all, YES, YES! There’s a funny screaming riff, with Tom screaming to be included. Tom figured the bed was more comfortable than the couch, so they sleep feet-to-head. That doesn’t comfort Wade too much.

At the Rammer Jammer, Wade learns that the dress shirt was to cover himself from indecency. He keeps getting classier, says Shelley. Here, here! Continue getting classy like that all the time, Wade!

Later, Wade dramatically interferes with Lavon’s mayor business to discuss … what he is allergic to. Pumpkins, birch beer, rabbits. I didn’t follow — my Wade language is a little rusty — but they conclude Wade was with Tanzy, his ex-wife last night. But they didn’t have sex, though Wade was willing, because Tanzy is gathering her life together. Naturally, the reappearance of his ex-wife is to help Wade get over Zoe and to grow up. Which is further helped by his bed buddy (literal buddy), Tom! Tom?

Tom has a subplot, people! His flirtations with Wanda paired with a singing solo has ended his Tomery. For some reason, the show sort of implies that the appearances of Tom, finished with pining away over Zoe, are over. I simply refuse. I need Tom and Shelley and occasionally Rose to flesh out this town.

Wade seeks out another connection with Tanzy because everyone is getting over Zoe this episode.

Lemon Logic

Zoe’s outfit looks so Southern and cute … and I just saw the rest of it. Ugh; she dresses so strangely. Zoe is going to the Rammer Jammer to do recon about Lemon and George’s relationship. She hits Shelley up for gossip before deciding to help George herself.

Lemon’s still denying the breakup. But Lemon’s logic is sort of solid … why wouldn’t George tell his parents or anyone? There is no gossip about an impending maelstrom on their maybe marriage. Gossip in a small town, or anywhere, signifies a version of the truth or speculation on television. But I can’t dwell on this kind of sound logic because LEMON’S EYEBROWS ARE BROWN. Like, really brown.

Anyway, both ladies decide to amend things with George through food, Zoe and her canned soup and Lemon with her delicious cake. Because food is the way to a man’s heart or something; how about not lying to him, ladies?

Yet George is too happy. Like Pleasantville satisfaction, I should find this more eerie but all I see is Scott Porter being adorable for most of the episode.

Another Town Event, I Guess

A staple for any decent CW show is to have a bunch of parties or town gatherings. The two I cover (this and The Secret Circle) have that down to a pat. But the specifics of each get lost in the shuffle; I can’t for the life of me know what it is specifically, but it is generic and specific enough at the same time to showcase the cast’s talents.

Lemon confronts George, but she doesn’t get why he is acting this way. I kind of get what George is doing … he isn’t giving anyone what they want. He won’t be angry or make Lemon feel better until he gets to deal. In fact, he is going to be selfish and think about him instead of an “us.”

By the way, George is in fact relieved! My prediction is right, haters! Psych, all three of you who comment are the best, for realz. It is now George Tucker time.

George Tucker Time…

Mean motorcycles, New Orleans, singing and Zoe. In that order, I suppose. But Lavon reminds Zoe that George did not choose her. Whatever; he continues on. Unfortunately, I think everyone, Zoe included, knows that George Tucker Time will not end well. Question: How far is New Orleans from Bluebell? Two Hours away? Ugh, I need a map.

According to Zoe, destiny gives us a window. How is Lemon making more sense than Zoe this episode? If destiny gives you the opportunity to act, how is that destiny? It isn’t predetermined then!

Scott Porter can sang! Enough to impress a naive couple into believing him and Zoe are engaged (which is just a terrible thing to do to Zoe). Smooching occurs, but all I think is Lemon’s complaints about Zoe were not so far off, now were they? Especially since the two are spending the night together. WHAT IS GOING ON, SHOW?

Finally, George listens to his wedding song; the pain floods in. Zoe senses this and they travel to Bluebell (but not together because she borrowed Lavon’s car and he has a motorcycle: logistics, people). Sadly, Zoe seems as off as ever. It hasn’t hit her that this will end disastrously and she still has hope. I hope we get the Zoe back of the last dozen or so episodes. I miss her.


Brick must sing some complicated song, which takes his focus away from his family. Not enough to comment on how pale Lemon looks. Verbatim from my notes: Lemon looks pale because of her dark EYEBROWS, Brick!

Magnolia spills the beans about the wedding to Brick. In a tearful scene, Lemon admits that she cheated on George. I pity her and relate to her more than anyone else. George yells at Lemon, angry. He’s grieving still, so let’s assume the wedding’s still off.


We had a treat this week because there were two!

Annabeth and her Lowe’s outdoor entertainment; I wonder how far they can stretch this thing. And in a night of talent, American Idol winner Scotty McCreery guest starred/performed/whatever the terminology is. I completely forgot, but I laughed when I remembered the promotion around him. He sounded good and is a completely appropriate guest star for a show set in the deep South.

Emily E. Steck
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of The CW)

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Emily E. Steck

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV