Glee Season 1 has come to a close, but the incredibly dim-witted brilliance of Brittany (Heather Morris) will live on forever.
We compiled our favorite Brittany quotes and divided them by subject matter. So read, enjoy and take in all the lessons that “Brittany the Perfect,” as we’ve come to call her, has to offer you.
At least for this season.
On Knowledge:
“I just don’t understand anything.”
– Episode 1.7, “Throwdown”
“I don’t know how to turn on a computer.”
– Episode 1.17, “Bad Reputation”
“There are so many lyrics.”
– Episode 1.18, “Laryngitis”
“Sometimes I forget my middle name.”
– Episode 1.14, “Hell-O”
On Medicine:
“It works best when you pretend like you’re getting tasered. It’s like cool epilepsy.”
– Episode 1.11, “Hairography”
“I’ve been here since first period. I had a cold, and I took all my antibiotics at the same time, and now I don’t know how to leave.”
– Episode 1.17, “Bad Repuation”
“When I pulled my hamstring I went to a misogynist.”
– Episode 1.15, “The Power of Madonna”
On Romance:
“Kissing my armpit is a really big turn on for me.”
– Episode 1.18, “Laryngitis”
Santana: “Sex is not dating.”
Brittany: “If it were, Santana and I would be dating.”
– Episode 1.13, “Sectionals”
“Guess who I’m dating? Wes Brody. He’s super cute. He plays soccer with my sister. He’s seven.”
– Episode 1.15, “The Power of Madonna”
“I’ve made out with, like, everyone in this school: girls, boys, Mr. Kidney, the janitor.”
– Episode 1.17, “Bad Reputation”
On the Culinary Arts:
“It’s not that. It’s just that most of us don’t know how to bake. I find recipes confusing.”
– Episode 1.9, “Wheels”
“A Happy Meal, no onions… Or a chicken.”
– Episode 1.20, “Theatricality”
“There was a mouse in mine.”
– Episode 1.14, “Hell-O”
“Sometimes I add a teaspoon of sand.”
– Episode 1.16, “Home”
On Animals:
Mr. Schuester: “Who can tell me what a ballad is?”
Brittany: “A male duck.”
Later: “I bet the duck is in the hat!”
– Episode 1.10,”Ballad”
“She’s the one they made me talk to when they found out I was keeping that bird in my locker.”
– Episode 1.13, “Sectionals”
“I’m pretty sure my cat’s been reading my diary.”
– Episode 1.16, “Home”
“Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?”
– Episode 1.14, “Hell-O”
On Self-Confidence:
“You look terrible. I look awesome.”
– Episode 1.20, “Theatricality”
What is your favorite Brittany line from Glee Season 1?
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The Office, It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.
