Dancing with the Stars has 13 fresh new couples to start rooting for when the season begins on September 22. I’ve already started to look at each individual couple’s strengths and weaknesses, and today, I continue my endeavor with the elder couple of Dancing with the Stars season 7.

But first, let me address the fact that probably my most controversial opinion thus far has been about Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff, not because I don’t have much faith in Rocco’s dance abilities, but mostly because I don’t appreciate Karina’s onstage pout-fests. Look, I am simply stating my opinion – the democratization of the Internet allows me as much right to state my opinions as you have – and I don’t want to get into a fight with all you Karina fans. Besides, you know what they say about winning an argument on the Internet.

Cloris Leachman

Pros:
Cloris Leachman is an extremely talented actress whose decades-long career has won her many awards. She also happens to be hilarious. This dirty old broad proved just how nasty she can be at Comedy Central’s roast of Bob Saget. (Be careful when searching for clips of it on YouTube, though; the Rick Rollers are out in full force. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.) I am positive that she’ll be charming and cheeky with the judges, and will win over the audience. Personally, I can’t wait to see her backstage or in the confessional room. Look, I know that Dancing with the Stars is a family show, but I’m hoping that she’ll give us some raunchy foul-mouthed humor, or at least some oblique allusions to penis jokes.

Cons:
Um, Cloris is like 127 years old, and ballroom dancing is really hard. Even assuming that she’s in tremendously good shape for her age, there’s no way she’ll be able to keep up technically with everyone else on the show. I’m trying with all my might to avoid the obvious jokes about Cloris falling and breaking a hip, but honestly, that might be a real concern here! My prediction is that she’ll make it further than people would expect, but there’s no chance that she’ll actually win.

Corky Ballas

Corky Ballas might be a newcomer to Dancing with the Stars, but he’s certainly no stranger to the dance world. Dancing is in the Ballas blood. He and Shirley Ballas, his wife and former competitive dance partner, begat the wonderful Mark Ballas, who stole all our hearts in season 5 and then went on to win Dancing with the Stars in season 6 with Kristi Yamaguchi. Corky and Shirley taught Mark (and the Houghs, Derek and Julianne, whom they also raised) everything they knew about dance. Obviously, Mark, Derek and Julianne turned out to be brilliant dancers, so you can be sure that Corky knows a thing or two about teaching dance. Cloris is in great hands with Corky, and together they make “Clorky,” which is kind of cute.

Read more pre-season analyses:
Maurice Greene and Cheryl Burke
Ted McGinley and Inna Brayer
Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas
Jeffrey Ross and Edyta Sliwinska
Cody Linley and Julianne Hough
Warren Sapp and Kym Johnson
Brooke Burke and Derek Hough
Toni Braxton and Alec Mazo
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer
Rocco DiSpirito and Karina Smirnoff
Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani
Misty May-Treanor and Maksim Chmerkovskiy

-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Images courtesy of ABC)

small_logo

Staff Writer, BuddyTV