'Big Brother 16' Recap: The Awful Episode Where Nothing Happens
'Big Brother 16' Recap: The Awful Episode Where Nothing Happens
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
Previously on Big Brother 16: Cody won a competition, Donny and Nicole were on the block and Donny was the target.

Tonight on Big Brother 16: Cody wins another competition, Donny and Nicole are still on the block and Donny is still the target.

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Since none of these HGs want to play the game, I don't feel like recapping this episode in the usual manner. I'm just angry about how awful and pointless this entire episode is, so I'm just going to vent.

-The Voiceover Guy is awful because he says Donny has been on the block six times, when it's actually seven. He played in four Battle of the Blocks, he was put up as a replacement nominee by Cody in week 4 and he was put up in the double eviction and this week. That's seven.

-Caleb is awful because he still thinks Donny has a military background because he's always thinking. When you're as dumb as Caleb, I guess people who possess the ability to think are considered super geniuses.

-Victoria is awful because she almost dies in the bathroom from wisdom tooth pain. Medics rush in to help her and then she's fine. She's not awful for almost dying, she's awful because this is the only thing she's done all season besides cutting up the pink hat.

Team America

-Team America is awful because this week's mission is to come up with their own mission. I encourage anyone reading this to click here and VOTE AGAINST IT.

-Derrick and Frankie are awful because Donny wants the mission to be keeping Team America together, but they shoot him down because it would require effort.

-Frankie is more awful because he literally puts on makeup in the diary room like a prima donna while saying that America would NEVER vote for them to save Donny.

-Frankie is even more awful because he wants the mission to be a play. He thinks America wants it to be fun and that we want to give them the money. He acts entitled, like he should get paid for doing nothing just because people like him.

-Derrick is awful yet again because he tells Donny he isn't sure about the vote. That's a lie, as is his phony waffling in the diary room about how he's torn between the Detonators and Team America. He knows he's going to evict Donny, he just doesn't want to look like an asshole for doing it.

-The Team America "play" is just plain awful. The eight HGs play the roles of the eight evicted HGs, with Frankie in drag as Joey. The only good part is when Caleb plays Hayden and Nicole, in the diary room, says that it's bad because "Hayden could actually get a girl in the house." Please, fans, vote AGAINST this crap.

The Power of Veto

-Christine is awful because she suspects the PoV competition will be "Stay or Fold" (which it is) and concocts a plan to let Frankie stay every time to throw it to him.

-Frankie is hilariously awful because he's "amazing at numbers" and gets eliminated by Donny in the first round of the PoV competition.

-The "Stay or Fold" competition is awful because, after Frankie is eliminated, everyone except Cody folds three times in a row, letting Cody win the Power of Veto by default. That was the most poorly played game ever.

-CBS is awful because Cody, Donny and Nicole get to watch the premiere of the new CBS drama Scorpion and we have to hear things like "Wow, I'm so excited to see this show."

-Cody is awful because he wants to use the Power of Veto to backdoor Frankie, but then he asks Derrick what he should do. He's literally letting Derrick make his decisions for him, and unlike with the HGs, that's the correct use of the word "literally."

-Cody is awful again because he doesn't use the Power of Veto. The last time he was HoH, he whined about how his brother would call him a pussy for nominating Donny instead of Caleb. This week he's an even bigger pussy for not backdooring Frankie.

-Derrick is the most awful because, at the very end, he tells us that he still has a few tricks up his sleeve and Team America isn't dead yet. Dude, stop lying to us, we all know you're going to vote out Donny, so every time you tell us you don't want to do it, it just makes you look like a bigger asshole. If Team America wants to stick together, Derrick and Frankie can very easily vote to evict Nicole, and Derrick can tell Victoria to do it because she does whatever he says. Then Donny would be safe. If Derrick genuinely wants to keep Donny, he can.


(Image courtesy of CBS)

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