'Big Brother 12' Recap: Kristen's Worst Week Ever
'Big Brother 12' Recap: Kristen's Worst Week Ever
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
People like to claim that if you don't have anything nice to say you shouldn't say anything at all. If that were the case, I'd have nothing to say about this episode of Big Brother 12.

The current HoH, aka She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, is one of the most frustrating individuals to ever play this game. I really don't want to write bad things about her, but she gives me no choice.

That may sound like perverted logic, but Rachel agrees with me. When Brendon expressed even the tiniest amount of sympathy for this week's nominees, Kristen and Hayden, Rachel responded, "Why don't you feel bad for me that I had to put them on the block?"

If you still wonder why I can't stand her, it's because she's able to say something like that without a shred of irony. If that's not enough, after watching the Will Ferrell movie The Other Guys with Brendon, Hayden and Ezno, Rachel says, "The Other Guys is the best movie I've ever seen." Unless it's the ONLY movie she's ever seen, I doubt it.

Wizards of Pinball PoV

For reasons beyond my understanding, Big Brother decided to avoid the obvious "Pinball Wizard" reference. It's a seemingly random competition where the HGs play a giant pinball machine and hope to get lucky enough for the ball to land in the middle. It looks like there's absolutely no skill involved, but Britney wins after hitting a surprisingly high number of perfect shots.

There are also fun and fabulous prizes, as well as two crappy awards. Because life is unfair in the Big Brother house, the two nominees get the awful prizes.

-Ragan wins a Veto Ticket, meaning he gets to play in next week's PoV competition no matter what. He chooses this over $5,000 because he doesn't want to be a target.

-Enzo wins a 3-D flat screen TV.

-Rachel wins $5,000, though she doesn't want it at all because it adds another target on her. It's funny because the target on her is already so big that an additional cash prize is like a drop in the bucket.

-Britney wins the Power of Veto.

-Hayden "wins" 24 hours in solitary confinement in the Have-Not room where he can only eat slop and bread.

-Kristen "wins" the chance to wear a hippie unitard and a stupid wig for the rest of the week. It's called a "hippie-tard," which sounds mildly offensive.

I'm kind of disappointed because at the end Hayden has the PoV and she had solitary confinement. Britney could've ignored the game for a second, let Hayden keep the PoV and give Rachel 24 hours in solitary confinement all while pocketing five grand. That would've been sweet.

Instead, the two nominees are forced to suffer even more on top of the fact that one of them (Kristen) is going to be evicted this week and miss out on making the jury house.

A Failed Coup d'Etat

In the end Hayden tries to run a game to get Britney to take him off the block and force Rachel to nominate Kathy as a replacement. It's what everyone in the house wants except for Brendon and Rachel (and maybe Kathy, but I'm not sure she even wants to stay).

Sadly, Rachel and Brendon show, for the first time in this game, a shred of intelligence when they don't agree to go along with the plan to team up with Hayden and Kristen for a super couples alliance.

So finally, in the end, I do have something nice to say about Rachel. For keeping the utterly useless Kathy in the house and getting a sworn enemy out, Rachel wins this round, doing the right thing for her game.


(Image courtesy of CBS)

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