'Big Brother 12' Recap: Cruel and Unusual Punishments
'Big Brother 12' Recap: Cruel and Unusual Punishments
John Kubicek
John Kubicek
Senior Writer, BuddyTV
I've been sick all week, literally, and I blame Big Brother 12. My immune system could not handle Matt's epic blunders and the sneaky betrayal he falls victim to this week. This episode is all about how cruel and unusual Big Brother can be, whether it's from your fellow HGs or random punishments.

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Here are my three most unusual and most cruel punishments from the episode.

Unusual: The Power of Veto Competition

A theme of this season is that the HGs love complaining about how unfair the competitions are and how they're designed for certain people to win. That seems particularly true in this instance, where Brendon has nothing to lose. Also, because there's a buzzer attached, there's no way of knowing if it's even a fair game, or if Big Brother purposefully blocked off certain buzzes to make the game go however they wanted. It's unclear when they need to push the button and how the game works, which makes this competition total B.S. This game only works if you give everyone an equal chance to take each punishment or reward. Call it sour grapes if you want, but Big Brother definitely could've done some shady manipulation with this one.

In the end, here's how it shapes up:

Matt gets nothing
Britney gets nothing
Lane wins a phone call from home
Hayden wins a Hawaiian vacation and $5,000
Enzo must give up all his clothes for the rest of the season and wear a penguin suit
Brendon must shave his head, take a chum bath every hour for 24 hours, be handcuffed to another HG for 24 hours (he chooses Britney) and he's a Have-Not for the rest of the season

Unusualer: Shave Your Head

Even more unfair in this PoV competition was that one of the punishments was shaving your head (or dying your hair pink for Britney). This was obviously suited to Brendon since he's already the closest to bald. Was there really a chance Hayden would take this? The result was also a very unusual and unfortunate accident where Brendon winds up looking exactly like Billy Zane. See for yourself:
wenn2853177.jpgUnusualest: The Meow Meow Penguin

As much as I've grown to hate Enzo due to the fact that he seems to be on par with Jordan in the intellect department, seeing the Meow Meow in a penguin costume still brings a smile to my face.

Cruel: Being Handcuffed to Brendon and His Chum Baths

Brendon is certainly less awful since Rachel left, but being handcuffed to him is still a very cruel punishment for Britney. Adding insult to injury, she also had to suffer getting up every hour to accompany him to a chum bath. The highlight comes in a diary room session when Britney mouth's the words "Help Me," like a hostage.

Crueler: Matt Gets Backstabbed

Matt is not sneaky and shady, as everyone says. He is all about the Brigade, even willing to throw his best friend Ragan under the bus to keep it in tact. However, the rest of the BG doesn't care. They decide to stab the Gremlin in the back as hard as they possibly can, calling him the Saboteur and blaming him for taking the Hawaiian vacation and the $5,000, both of which Hayden took.

That's cold-hearted and this week Hayden revealed his true colors as the Patrick Bateman of Big Brother 12, a cruel and calculated sociopath who is capable of lying directly to your face without batting an eyelash. At least Enzo and Lane have the decency to admit to themselves how cruel this is, but Hayden seems completely unfazed by his severe betrayal.

The worst part is that the Brigade gets Britney to do their dirty work, even though she doesn't want to and even though she knows that she's being used. If I didn't love Matt so much, I might be impressed by how manipulative Hayden, Lane and Enzo are being, but I genuinely don't respect any Big Brother HG who isn't willing to get a little blood on their own hands.

Cruelest: An Hour with Jessie

No punishment on Earth compares to the horrors that Britney had to endure from opening Pandora's Box. She was stuck talking to former houseguest and all-around douchebag extraordinaire Jessie for an hour. I'm pretty sure the Geneva Convention banned such actions.


In the end, Matt is up against Enzo, and all signs point to Matt being evicted with Ragan following suit in the double eviction, unless Matt gets some brains, exposes the Brigade, and convinces Brendon, Britney and Ragan that the triumvirate of Hayden, Lane and Enzo is a much bigger threat than he is.


(Images courtesy of CBS)

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