Teacher, mentor, performer … and total creep? For all his strong moral fiber and concern for the students in his Glee Club, Will Schuester has often toed the line between catchy and To Catch a Predator. Or are we reading too much into his song choices? Check out his creepiest moments and judge for yourself.
#10 "Gold Digger," from "Showmance":
The first instance of Will’s affinities for both rapping and attention-hogging. At the time the number came off as more helpful (he offered Finn this solo, and when Finn turned it down, Shue said he’d “walk him through it”) and inspiring (there’s no denying the Gleeks enjoyed the number, as did we) than creepy, but now we can see it for what it is: A warning sign.
#9 "One Less Bell to Answer" / "A House Is Not a Home," from "Home":
Will sings this song in his apartment while in bed next to April. True, they only hold hands and sing between the sheets, but it’s impossible to forget that a week earlier we saw Will in bed with another woman–Emma–whom he was ready and eager to devirginize during “Like a Virgin.” Now he’s in bed with April and lamenting his loneliness over Terri. The duet is gorgeous, but I was almost too distracted by Will’s triple-playing the ladies to totally enjoy it.
#8 "Tell Me Something Good," from "Funk":
Will hatches a revenge plan on Sue that hinges on him seducing her with this number, which he sings while essentially giving her a lap dance. He sings the hell out of it and looks good doing it, but that doesn’t keep it from being an underhanded, immature ploy that would certainly qualify as sexual harassment in any real workplace. Torn between being uncomfortable and aroused, Sue’s face goes through cycles of disgust, pleasure and self-loathing, and I’m guessing I’m not the only one who could relate.
#7 "Bust a Move," from "Mash-Up":
When Rachel laments the “lack of leading male ambition” in the Glee club, Will announces he will “have to show these boys how it’s done” while taking off his shirt. Free to rock in his v-neck, Will then busts into a performance of “Bust a Move,” during which he attempts to touch each student at least once. He pulls up Quinn for spin and sings “You wish you could sex her.” He breakdances. He raps about scoring with various women. For a very long time. Then, for good measure, at the end he does the splits. The only student in the room who exhibits an appropriate response to all of this–shock and embarrassment–is Kurt.
#6 "Endless Love," from "Ballad":
Rachel starts to get a crush on Will, and decides to “demonstrate” the ballad assignment for the class by singing “Endless Love” with him. Will, for once, recognizes that the number is inappropriate and says so. But instead of putting his foot down and not singing a love song with a student, he lets Finn (FINN! that great master of persuasion!) talk him into it, and sings the song while staring at Rachel, not the rest of the class, the entire time. Even though he’s uncomfortable when he sees that Rachel has that crazy, obsessed look in her eye, he still finishes out the song. Artie’s face at the end of the number perfectly mirrored my own.
#5 "The Thong Song," from "Mash-Up":
Will sings and gyrates to this crude Sisqo track for an audience of one in his classroom: Emma, who is both engaged and wearing a wedding dress at the time. At one point he kneels on the ground right in front of her and screams “Let me see that thong, baby!” while throwing his hands around in a circle. Even Emma starts to look more embarrassed than aroused. Good thing it’s impossible to die from second-hand-embarrassment, because I would have died 30 times over during this number.
#4 "Young Girl/Don’t Stand So Close to Me," from "Ballad":
After Rachel develops that massive, inappropriate crush on Will, instead of firmly bursting her bubble with words, Will decides the best way to communicate their boundaries is to sing a solo with lyrics like “With all the charms of a woman” and “Temptation, frustration, so bad it makes him cry,” while looking intently into her eyes and even climbing on top of the piano in a fit of passion. (Passion … for the rules?) Essentially the lyrics translate to, “I want you too, but you’re too young.” It is, if unintentionally, creepily seductive. Even Emma is swooning by the end. Good work, Will. You’re like a living Mary Kay Latourneau: The Musical.
#3 "I Want to Sex You Up," from "Acafellas":
In retaliation to one of his students (Rachel) criticizing his amateur choreography skills, Will, as hurt and confused as an insecure little baby, dumps the Glee club and starts a men’s singing group, The Acafellas. It is creepy enough, in a sad and pathetic “this is your life” way, when they perform “Poison” at the local tiki bar. But when The Acafellas get asked to sing at the PTA meeting for Josh Groban–let’s just ignore that, since it’s more nonsensical than creepy–and two of his members bail, he lets Finn and Puck join the group, and they perform “I Want to Sex You Up,” complete with overt humping choreography. Puck, a minor and a student, writhes on the stage and sings about “Making love until we drown,” in front of a large group of teachers and parents. What a role model.
#2 "Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a Me," from "The Rocky Horror Glee Show":
What’s a teacher-mentor to do when he’s in love with the guidance counselor, but she has a boyfriend? Why, exploit his students by putting on a wildly inappropriate production of her favorite play, “The Rocky Horror Picture Show,” of course! Will tries to woo Emma by casting himself in the role of Rocky (tiny gold shorts and all) and asking her to rehearse the sexual number “Touch-a, Touch-a, Touch-a Me,” with him. It’s creepy enough when you think about how underhanded, juvenile and manipulative he is being with Emma, who is at least an adult singing and stripping with him in (semi-)private. But the whole thing turns full-on creepy when you recall that he intends to perform the song on stage with Rachel in front of the entire school.
#1 "Toxic," from "Britney/Brittany":
And the creepiest Will Schuester performance goes to … his public performance of “Toxic” with the Glee club that inspires a “Britney Spears Sex Riot.” After repeatedly insisting that Britney Spears’ themes are inappropriate for their pep rally performance, Will once again relents because of selfish aims: He wants to prove to Emma that he’s relaxed and cool. Instead, his overly sexual choreography and song choice cause a sexual-urges-inspired student stampede. All because Will thought it would impress the guidance counselor if he thrust his man-parts at the school’s impressionable teens.