The penultimate episode of True Blood‘s fourth season saw more death and the end of Marnie. Or did it? The powerful, villainous witch may have got blasted away with a machine gun, but death is never the end for characters on this show.
It all began when the vampires tried to blow up the Moon Goddess Emporium, but Jason stepped in to save the people inside, most notably Sookie. Thanks to some smooth talking, Sookie convinced Marnie to negotiate, but the only thing Marnie wanted was for Bill and Eric to walk into her giant vamp zapper fence. They agreed, but luckily Pam refused to let them kill themselves for a “gash in a sun dress.” That’s when Pam brought out the big guns, literally.
She fired a rocket launcher at the wall in one of the single most awesome moments ever, only the blast turned Jason into a pretty bad burn victim. Don’t worry, ladies, his pretty face was saved when Jessica fed him her blood yet again. I think horribly disfiguring someone as hot as Jason would be a fate worse than death.
Having failed at her negotiation, Marnie went even crazier and cast a giant spell to force the vampires to walk into her death trap. Once again, Sookie’s perfectly timed fairy magic came into play and saved them, but it also resulted in Marnie circling her in fire and trying to kill her. That’s when Jesus stepped in with some bad-ass witch magic to separate Marnie from Antonia and break all of her spells. Wow, I guess Sarah Silverman is right: Jesus really is magic.
That laid the groundwork for the big final showdown when Eric and Bill walked in, guns blazing. Marnie’s right-hand man Roy said that they’d need to go through him first, so Eric rips his heart out and drinks it like a Capri Sun. OK, Eric was sweet and sensitive and super hot earlier this season, but I think that imagine officially turns me off from him. Then Bill shoots and kills Marnie,
But it’s not over. In the final scene, Marnie’s ghost forces its way into Lafayette’s body. Great, more possession madness for him. Can’t that poor guy ever get a break? He’s always possessed by psychopaths or locked away in a dungeon.
The Werewolf-Shifter Drama
Sam and Alcide tracked down Marcus for a big fight, and while Sam wanted to let Marcus go, Alcide stepped in at the last minute and killed him. He also broke up with Debbie, who was having an affair with Marcus. I must say Sam and Alcide make a pretty awesome, and hunky, duo.
Andy’s Letter to Penthouse
Dear Penthouse Forum,
I never thought I’d write a letter like this. My crazy, PTSD cousin stranded me in the woods at night, so I had to walk back home. Then I heard this loud “ZAP!” and saw a ball of light. The most beautiful woman I’d ever seen came out of in and blasted me away with her magic light. When I woke up she was on top of me, writhing in ecstasy. She wanted me to protect her, she made my finger glow, and then she begged me to make sweet love to her. I was the best I’d ever been and when it was over, she went away in her magic ball of light. It was the greatest night of my life, and I suspect it’s only the beginning of some major things to come.
Next week it’s the True Blood season 4 finale, and the dead are coming back, most notably Marnie in Lafayette’s body. But we’re also gonna get some final hot, shirtless Jason and a scene where Bill and Eric are shirtless and chained to each other. Sounds kinky.
(Image courtesy of HBO)