Hello, X Factor eXperts! You may know me from my weekly X Factor rankings, in which I rate the week’s performances (here’s my latest), and try to mention as many dumb things that Nicole Scherzinger said as I can.

So far this season, the lovely and judicial Jilliane Johnson has been bringing you X Factor recaps (here’s her latest). But now that we’re down to the final five (soon to be final four!), the competition is heating up, so I’m taking the reigns for LIVE recaps of all the LIVE episodes from here on out.

What’s the benefit of a live recap versus a post-episode recap, you ask? Well, for starters, my jokes will be off-the-cuff, and therefore probably worse, which means you have even more ammunition with which to mock me. Which, in turn, is the real benefit of a live recap: The comments section! Follow along in there with me and all the fellow viewers (on East Coast time, that is) and share your thoughts, hopes, prayers, rants and more as we watch minute-by-minute.

It’s almost time for tonight’s Results Show, and Mary J. Blige and Lenny Kravitz are coming to visit! But before all the Pepsi-themed pomp and circumstance, who do you think will get the boot just shy of the X Factor final four?

(Image courtesy of FOX)