Last week on The Voice I wrote about how no one wanted to be on Cee Lo Green’s team. Well, what a difference a week makes. In this episode Cee Lo jumps into the lead by scoring four more singers for his team, tying him with Adam Levine for the lead with 11 of their 16 spots filled.
Meanwhile, without the power of his ACM Award, Blake Shelton turned into a big loser tonight, hitting his button four times but not getting any singers. He only has seven singers so far and is the only coach whose team is less than half full.
Trevanne Howell (“I Have Nothing” by Whitney Houston)
She’s a happy-go-lucky single mom with lipstick that is way too pink. This is a case of bad nerves, because she’s very shaky and uneven throughout the entire song.
Coaches: No one turns around. Christina Aguilera says exactly what I just wrote.
Collin McLoughlin (“Wild World” by Cat Stevens)
He dropped out of NYU grad school to pursue his music. His mom says that if a coach turns around, it will validate her son’s decision. I’m now actively rooting against this kid, because this is a terrible lesson to teach young people. He’s Jack Johnson-style mellow.
Coaches: Adam, Cee Lo and Blake turn around. Hey kids, guess what? If you quit college, you can succeed! This is not going to help unemployment numbers in this country. He joins Team Adam.
Joselyn Rivera (“Stronger (What Doesn’t Kill You)” by Kelly Clarkson)
She was a premie and the doctor prescribed music to help cure her neurological problems. Barbie karaoke machines really are the best medicine. I know that’s how I cured by sprained ankle last week.
Coaches: Christina and Blake turn around. Joselyn is the 12th teenager to make a team, which is quite impressive (especially since there are only six people over 30 so far). Xtina didn’t even realize Blake pushed his button, but it doesn’t really matter, even with Blake’s claims that Xtina is abusive. She joins Team Xtina.
Benji (“Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door” by Bob Dylan)
He’s a former racecar driver who quit because it was too expensive. He’s pretty great with some rough growls and screams thrown in for good measure. Halfway through the performance, Cee Lo Green starts humping his button. Yes, it’s button-humping good.
Coaches: Adam and Cee Lo turn around. Adam claims Benji could win this thing. Then we get this great exchange:
Xtina: “I think you have a bit of an Adam tone.”
Blake: “I don’t think he sounds like a jackass at all.”
Oh Blake, stop making me love you more and more every night. He joins Team Adam.
Todd Kessler, Ben Taub and Emily Earle
We get a quick montage of successful singers taking on classic songs. They all join Team Cee Lo. I always feel bad for these singers who make a team but don’t get a full segment. I wonder if the first guy is related to the Todd Kessler who co-created Damages. Or the Todd Kessler who co-created Nickelodeon’s Blue’s Clues. Or the Todd Kessler who writes for The Good Wife. Yeah, that’s a pretty popular name on TV.
Lorraine Ferro (“Skyscraper” by Demi Lovato)
She’s 52 (and she says it about a hundred times). I’m terrified this exuberant cougar is gonna pounce on Carson Daly. Also, women in their 50s should NOT be singing Demi Lovato songs. I wonder if this is ANOTHER dig at The X Factor? She’s very energetic, but she oversings it. She should go over to Broadway where she belongs.
Coaches: No one turns around. Cee Lo thinks she looks damn fine for a lady in her 50s. Xtina says “Good for her,” which is the ultimate kiss-off.
Mycle Wastman (“Let’s Stay Together” by Al Green)
His parents died of serious diseases when he was young and his grandpa who raised him died a week and a half ago. He has the whole “white guy who sings like a black man full of soul” vibe.
Coaches: Adam, Cee Lo and Blake turn around. Cee Lo gives him a standing ovation and Adam tries his best to say “I thought you were black” without actually saying it. They all agree he’s the best singer of the day and they all really, really want him. He joins Team Cee Lo. At 40, he becomes the oldest solo artist to make a team so far (the mom from Blake’s 2Steel Girls is 44).
That does it for week 2 of the blind auditions. So far Adam and Cee Lo each have 11 singers, Xtina has 10 and Blake is trailing everyone with 7.
(Image and videos courtesy of NBC)