On tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Tamra gets some upsetting news about her son’s health. Heather offers Tamra a golden opportunity but doesn’t get the reaction she was expecting. Shannon’s holiday party is the backdrop for some serious drama.
What’s Good for the Blonde Goose…
Tamra and Ryan return to the doctor’s office after Tamra went to start hormone replacement treatments. She dragged Ryan along to get the good doctor’s opinion about her firstborn’s illegal use of HGH. Despite Eddie’s objections, she’s added testosterone to her bag of tricks to keep her looking as young and fit as possible. She’s also been lucky enough not to suffer too many negative side effects like increased facial hair, or so she’s saying on camera. For all we know, she’s shaving in the shower.
Ryan, who has been taking human growth hormone without either the supervision of a physician or a reputable supplier finds out that he’s at a high risk for a “coronary event.” Ryan’s blood work is such a hot mess, the doctor could conceivably send the 28 year-old to multiple specialists to see just how extensive the damage is to his body.
Tamra, still failing to see the irony of the situation, wants her son to know he looks fine the way he is, and he doesn’t need to inject himself with stuff to make himself look better. Botox anyone? As a parent, how can she be so blind to the example she has set for her son? Boob implants anyone?
Ryan says he plans to let all the crap clear out of his body and get re-tested. Whether he’s saying what his mother and the doctor want to hear or if he will really change his ways remains to be seen.
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Move Over Kelly Rippa
Heather goes on a local morning show, Good Day LA, to promote her guest appearance on Hawaii Five-O. They seem to be a fan of the bubbly brunette because she has served as co-host in the past, so they ask her to fill in when one of the morning show’s regulars goes on maternity leave.
It CUTs Like a Knife
Usually around the holidays we reserve drunken squabbling for family, but the Housewives gather together for Shannon and David’s Christmas party, and it’s inevitable the spirit of the season will get lost amongst all the petty disagreements. As usual, everyone starts out with good intentions. Heather hopes that now that she and Shannon are in “a better place,” that she’ll resume bosom buddy status with the bobbsey twins, Vicki and Tamra.
All the girls show up, and even Vicki is in good spirits, deigning to greet Lizzie with home good cheer.
Heather pulls Tamra and Eddie aside and tells them about her gig on Good Day LA and how she pitched to the producers that Eddie and Tamra come on the show to promote CUT Fitness. Instead of being happy, Tamra drudges up how five months earlier, when Heather filled in, she did a segment that featured a competing fitness studio. She felt stabbed in the heart.
While Heather had nothing to do with that segment other than participation, Tamra’s turnip was, and apparently still is, chapped, because the business in question, is where Heather works out. At the time, CUT had just opened and the Judges could have used some of ‘Fancy Pants’ dough to help get the fledgling business off the ground.
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Tamra makes it clear just how hurt her feeling were as well as she insinuates that Heather may have had more of a hand in the competition’s appearance on the show than she’s letting on. Heather tries to explain that she could have boycotted the segment to prove her loyalty to Tamra but then she would have lost out on a career opportunity. Terry points out that Heather’s current offer to feature CUT should more than make up for any possible wrongdoing on his wife’s part in the past. Screw that. Now Heather is offended and tells Work Out Barbie that if she thinks that she (Heather) would be anything but pure and supportive it would be hurtful. Talk about kicking a gift horse right in the mouth.
Tamra decides to rehash the whole mess to Lizzie, Shannon and this woman who keeps showing up everywhere, Danielle. In Tamra’s version, an instructor from the other fitness studio told her that Heather set the whole thing up, despite her claims otherwise.
Lizzie thinks it’s great that Heather wants to give CUT some love on local TV, but Shannon’s on Team Tamra that it’s too little and too late. Tamra herself admits that all she has to go on is hearsay, so she can’t call Heather out with 100 percent confidence. Shannon says that if Tamra were to approach Heather with the “evidence” she has, Heather would dismiss it immediately.
Either out of context or out of nowhere, Lizzie asks Tamra if Heather makes her feel like she’s below her. The accompanying hand gesture reminiscent of Kelly Bensimon and her whole I’m-up-here-you’re-down-there rift with Bethenny Frankel on the RHONY. We already know Tamra feels like Heather can be a snob. After all, she gave her the nickname “Fancy Pants.”
Tamra’s stocking is going to be full of coal because she’s just bad mouthing Heather left and right. Abandoning the fitness studio scandal, she moves on to the hoedown. She praises how Shannon helped her out and reveals that Heather called her and told her to pick a side. Apparently, this is news to Shannon.
Tamra realizes she may have just shot herself in the foot when Shannon questions if she should confront Heather with this information immediately. After all, they both agreed to come to the other right away should any unpleasantness arise.
Heather and Vicki join the group and an awkward silence follows. Lizzie decides to cut to the chase and tells Heather the ladies have some air that needs clearing. Tamra is visibly flabbergasted that Lizzie would, gasp, have the respect to deal with someone face to face instead of sniping behind their back. She is just so busted. Shannon feels Lizzie has overstepped her bounds as well.
Heather thought the issue was resolved, and when she tries to defend herself, Shannon jumps all over her for being too condescending. Shannon also confronts Heather about the supposed ultimatum she gave to Tamra. Vicki, in a funk over her empty nest, is content to watch and keep her opinions to herself.
Tamra is happy to have the spotlight off her gossiping and tries to act as if her only concern is that Heather and Shannon get along.
Heather isn’t sure how to defend herself when being fired at from multiple directions. She’s more than willing to go toe to toe with Shannon, but she’s still defending herself from Tamra’s malicious accusations. Heather feels ambushed and rightfully so. My question is “What would Santa do?”
Heather tries to prove that she’s been nothing but a good friend to Tamra, but she’s seems to be fighting a losing battle, especially when Tamra flounces off in her Jennifer Lopez wannabe- looking jumpsuit. Heather and Terry find an excuse to take their leave and flee the scene. She finds Tamra, still talking smack in a corner, and says her goodbyes. Heather hugs Tamra and tells her she should know better and questions her intentions.
Terry and Heather haven’t even made it to their car before Shannon and Tamra resume right where they left off.
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Mondays at 9 pm on Bravo.
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