In tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of Orange County, Vicki and Brooks discuss their future together. Lizzie reaches out to Shannon. Tamra suffers from a serious case of empty nest syndrome. Briana and Vicki attend counseling to try and resolve their issues. And Ryan makes a big announcement.
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Someone Please Pass the Crazy
When we last left our favorite bevy of Botoxed beauties, Shannon was having an extreme meltdown in the middle of Lizzie’s dinner party. The cause? Tamra. Well, Tamra and Heather.
Things pick up right where they left off. Tamra’s contrite and concerned minutes after bad-mouthing the woman to Heather. So why’d you go and get the ball rolling, Tamra? Karma is almost as big a bitch as you, and she’s going to be coming for you soon.
Shannon’s husband escorts her out for a breath of fresh air and, hopefully, a Xanax. Lizzie feels bad for her paranoid party guest, saying she’d lose it too if she didn’t know who was telling the truth.
Vicki heads out to offer back-up to her new bestie. Shannon says she cannot stand it when people accuse her of being something she’s not or doing something she didn’t do. Heather’s continued insistence that all Shannon does is yell has pushed her beyond postal. Vicki advises Shannon to stand up for herself.
Heather asks Terry if they should call an ambulance because it appears Shannon is having some type of psychotic break. Get real! It’s not like Shannon has armed herself with silverware and is threatening anyone. This is really starting to look like a nasty smear job on behalf of Tamra and Heather. They’re like a two-headed beast that should have some Greek name. Maybe I’ll just call this mutant creature “Heatam.”
Lizzie’s husband has the good sense to put a kibosh on the whole ambulance idea. Lizzie thinks that it’s easy to write Shannon off as crazy because she is hurting. But Lizzie thinks what Shannon really needs is a friend.
Shannon pulls herself together, comes back inside and says her goodbyes. She adheres to Vicki’s advice that staying would just be fighting a losing battle.
Shannon continues to say her outbursts are uncharacteristic of her, but if that were the case, why does she keep having them?
The next day, Heather, Tamra and Tamra’s friend Danielle get together to rehash the whole ugly scene. Tamra was smashed by the latter half of the evening, so she conveniently claims to have had alcohol-induced amnesia for the better part of the night. She also doesn’t recall telling Shannon that Terry wants to “take the Beadors down.”
Tamra’s poison tongue strikes again when she says that Shannon and David haven’t slept in the same bed for years. Although, Shannon has been very open about this herself. Tamra also tells the other ladies that Shannon drinks vodka straight — a lot. The threesome even bat around the idea that Shannon may be, at the very least, verbally abusive to her husband. They all absolve themselves by determining that Shannon needs help.
Living in Sin
Vicki and Brooks head to the beach, and Brooks brings up the idea of the two of them moving in together at a time to be determined in the near future. They both agree it would be the next logical step in their relationship. Like Woody Allen said in Annie Hall, a relationship is like a shark. It has to keep moving or it dies.
Vicki’s very concerned about how she would break the news to Briana and Ryan, but since they’re moving to Oklahoma, I’m not sure why she even cares.
To help cushion the blow that’s coming, Vicki arranges a session with her therapist, Dr. Sanders, and Briana.
Briana wants to have better communication with her overbearing mother and would also like Vicki to be less manipulative. Vicki wants Briana’s blessing for her to keep schtupping Brooks.
While Vicki claims she and Briana are extremely close, Briana indicates that she’s spent most of her life smothered and controlled by her mom. She suspects that her attitude about Brooks may be a payback of sorts.
Things devolve quickly, and it isn’t long before Briana is in tears. She’s no dummy. She knows the minute she moves, Brooks will become a more permanent fixture in her mother’s life. She also confesses that she doesn’t think Vicki shows much interest in how she feels. It’s all about Vicki all the time. Briana feels her needs and opinions just don’t matter. I don’t think her fleeing the OC is a move as much as it is an escape.
A New Ally
After getting the healing hand from Dr. Moon, Shannon declares she will never make a scene like the one she made at Lizzie’s again. She’s not going to allow anyone to have that kind of power over her.
Lizzie calls to give her condolences. She’s very supportive, but Shannon doesn’t fully trust Lizzie because she believes her to be a defector from Team Heather. Shannon complains about Heather throwing her out of her home in the same way that Heather complains about Shannon yelling at her. Both are exaggerating greatly and neither can let it go.
Lizzie must sense Shannon’s hesitation because she addresses the fact that she may not have seemed very sympathetic in the past. Lizzie says she doesn’t want to choose sides but does want to be Shannon’s friend.
Wedding Bell Blues
That karma thing I mentioned earlier is kicking in. There appears to be serious custody issues brewing between Tamra and ex-husband Simon. Also, her beloved eldest son has decided to pick up and move to Northern California to be with some chick he met on Instagram just a few months ago. Tamra feels Ryan is acting impulsively and doesn’t realize the long-term ramifications of what he’s doing. She also worries his actions could be a response to some disturbing medical diagnosis he recently received. He has a blood disorder that, if left untreated, can lead to organ failure.
Tamra convinces Ryan to bring this girl over for dinner. Tamra’s first impression is that the girl, Sarah, looks like her. It becomes evident pretty quickly that Tamra isn’t going to be able to run all over this girl. Sarah sells guns for a living.
It turns out things are even more serious between Ryan and Sarah than Tamra realized. The two drop the bombshell at dinner that they’ve set a wedding date. Tamra comes unglued. She feels completely shut out of the process, on top of worrying that her son is moving way too fast. Tamra pulls a full-on Shannon. She’s obviously overwhelmed by things going on off camera.
The happy couple makes a quick getaway. What, no dessert?
The Real Housewives of Orange County airs Mondays at 9pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)