It’s Season 9 of The Real Housewives of New York City, and most of the previous cast is back for another go-around, with the exception of Jules Wainstain. But in her place is Tinsley Mortimer who has plenty of her own experience dealing with the strong personalities that come along the New York social scene. As always, new blood brings fresh drama to the group. Let’s see how it goes this time.
Bethenny Frankel Describes Real Housewives of NYC Season 9 as ‘The Hangover Meets The Golden Girls‘>>>
Bethenny Gets her Groove Back
Bethenny’s at her drink beverage HQ that I refuse to mention at every moment in my recaps. She can shill all her low-cal drinks she wants, but that doesn’t mean I have to! Any-who, her divorce finally went through and she got her Tribeca apartment back from her deadbeat ex who was trying to steal it from her.
Her friend Fredrik is going to sell it for her, but they can’t agree on a price. Whatever they end up agreeing on, it looks like she’ll be getting at least $6 million for it. $6 million. For an apartment. Woof.
They head over to the place to check it out. The last time Bethenny was there she got very emotional. But now Fredrik’s had it re-done and it looks amazing and fresh. Bethenny convinces him to list it for an even higher price, plus a parking space worth half a million dollars! Am I even hearing this right? New York is insane. I think I’ll stick to the Midwest.
Luann and Dorinda meet to catch up. Lu says she’s been busy planning her wedding. She’s “ever so much in love” with her fiancÃ© Tom. Never mind the fact that he is a known cheater. She says the only woman she’s inviting from this group of ladies to her wedding is Dorinda, because she can’t trust the other ones not to start any drama.
Dorinda is currently feuding with Sonja, who has been trashing her to anyone with ears since that one time that Dorinda didn’t invite her to the Berkshires. Dorinda has had it with Sonja and she’s really upset. She knows she’s going to have to see her again soon but she also knows that it’s not going to end well.
Meanwhile, Sonja’s starring in an off-Broadway play called Tips for Straight Women from Gay Men. She says she has an international following that’s bringing people to the play in droves. Sounds like your typical Sonja delusion, but hey, at least she’s branching out and trying new things. Now if we’d only ever see that toaster oven…
Ramona Lays it On Thick
Ramona’s having her apartment re-done by a contractor named, get this, Mario! And of course she flirts with Contractor Mario and then asks him if he knows anyone he can set her up with because she has no shame. And that’s why we love her.
Dorinda goes to Carole’s for a visit. Carole’s life has changed a bit in the past few months. She and hot Adam are now “shacking up” and they have two kittens living with them along with their dog Baby.
Dorinda apologizes for some of the B.S. from last season. She says she never meant to be at odds with Carole and she misses her friendship. Carole says she likes Dorinda’s willingness to not to dwell too much on things that have past and wants to repair their friendship.
Speaking of repairing friendships, Bethenny goes to Sonja’s to collect some used clothing for Dress for Success. Bethenny quips that the needy will just love Sonja’s hooker stilettos. It’s hard for Sonja to get rid of her clothes because she connects a lot of memories to them. Like the 20-year-old Gucci loafers and the yacht pants she wore while she was dating Prince Albert!
The two of the ladies gossip about Luann’s wedding. Sonja says she’s being really annoying about the planning, but Bethenny tells her she needs to get over it and send her a fruit basket. Bethenny says that the reason no one else is invited to the wedding is because she exposed Tom’s cheating, Ramona dated Tom, and Sonja (previously) slept with Tom. So basically, it’s Tom’s penis that’s the reason they’re not invited.
While the two of them gossip, Lu plans for her perfect wedding to her perfect man in her perfect penthouse. The first time she got married she was in a courthouse in jeans, so now she wants a fairy tale wedding. She doesn’t feel like she’s losing her Countess identity. She’s been the Countess long enough and now she’s ready to be a wife. Maybe she should have stuck with the title. The title doesn’t cheat.
Bethenny is chilling with her dog Cookie and her new puppies, Biggie and Smallz, when she hears from Fredrik. He sold her apartment in one day for her full asking price of astronomical millions. Congrats, I guess.
Later, Carole comes to visit Bethenny. All she can talk about is the election and how much she hates Donald Trump. Bethenny tells her she gets it, but it’s all Carole can talk about and she just needs to take a step back. Poor Carole. A lot of us thought the same way that Hillary was a “guarantee because he’s a buffoon.” But most of us weren’t caught on film being so wrong.
Dorinda shows up to Ramona’s place for lunch, but Ramona’s assistant tells her that Ramona’s on a lunch date. Ramona eventually shows up to her own lunch date with Dorinda in her own home, late. Classic Ramona.
Once again, the topic of discussion shifts to Luann. Ramona was hurt that she wasn’t invited to Lu’s bridal shower. Dorinda says she thinks it’s because Lu thinks Ramona conspired with Bethenny when they discovered Tom was cheating. Ramona insists that Lu and Tom have an open relationship because she heard from a friend of a friend that Luann was in Palm Beach hitting up 30-year-olds in the bathroom. Dorinda tries to diffuse the Ramona bomb by telling her to talk to Luann about her issues, but she warns her to not get too aggressive. Ramona is definitely going to get aggressive.
Ramona and Luann meet for drinks. At first things are cordial as they catch up, but then Ramona gets to the nitty gritty and asks why Luann didn’t invite her to her wedding shower. Lu says she wants only to be surrounded by people who support her, not people who are digging around in her fiancÃ©’s past to find dirt on him. Ramona says she doesn’t dig, but people come to her. But she wasn’t going to say anything to Luann about it. Unless of course she wants her to.
Luann says she doesn’t know what Ramona’s talking about. Ramona says Tom’s ex is saying she and Tom are still getting together. Luann says it’s a lie. Ramona says she’s burying her head in the sand and looking the other way. Luann says she’s not listening to gossip and fodder and she and Tom are together for good.
Ramona says she should advise her husband to reel it in and be more discreet. She says she’s going to toast to her marriage and she hopes she doesn’t fall on her face. Luann say she’s a big girl and she knows what she’s doing. Ramona assures her that she wishes her happiness and there’s no more Nancy Drew investigations.
Next time: Sonja gets a new roomie… Miss Tinsley!
What did you think of the premiere? Are you tired of the Tom drama yet? Let us know in the comments.
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