Last week on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, Carlton had all she could take of Kyle Richards and disengaged from Ken and Mauricio’s joint birthday dinner. How will the two deal with the fall-out? Let’s get to it.

Not Invited

Yolanda and her ex-husband, Mohamed, are throwing Gigi a graduation/going away party at Mohamed’s insane Arabic-themed mansion. Yolanda meets with him and his pretty young thang, Sheila, to plan the party. Gigi wants an Arabic-themed party with food cooked by her dad, not his staff.

They briefly discuss some drama involving Yolanda’s stepdaughter’s wedding and how Lisa dared to throw her own party on the same day. And even more egregiously, she dared to invite Mohamed, whose house the wedding was at. Can you believe the nerve of that woman?

At the Casa Richards, which looks like a trailer home compared to Mohamed’s 50,000 square foot villa, Mauricio and Kyle play down-to-earth Beverly Hills parents when their teenage daughter Alexia asks to go away for the weekend with her friends. Kyle reluctantly allows her daughter to go, only if she doesn’t leave her drink unattended at any point throughout the trip. Thanks, moooooooooom.

She also tells Mauricio that she got an e-mail from Carlton uninviting her to her husband’s work event, but that Mauricio was still invited. And Kyle was all like, “Fine, I didn’t want to go to that stupid party anyway.”

Speaking of Carlton, she’s planning said stupid party for her husband’s business. She enjoys working with the family company, which is some mysterious “financial institution” that’s made them a butt-load of money (her words), because she grew up in such a small family. Working for said institution is how she met her husband, who happened to be the boss’ son. The event in which Kyle is not invited to is to celebrate and say thank you to their clients, so you probably won’t see any naked painted women at this one.

At Carlton’s party, when Lisa and Ken arrive, Carlton tries to apologize for her behavior at Ken’s birthday. Lisa lets her apologize and then sticks up for Kyle, telling Carlton that she may have this one wrong. Upon being called out by Lisa Vanderpump, Carlton’s rough exterior turns to shambles and she turns to putty.

She talks about being the farthest thing possible from an “anti-Semite,” which Kyle called her, and how Kyle is ruining her business and reputation because a lot of their clientele is Jewish. Okay, because anyone, besides you, takes anything Kyle Richards says seriously.

As Lisa and Ken are leaving, they have an awkward encounter with Kim at the entrance. They tease her about not making Ken’s birthday party, to which Kim goes into an uncanny Lisa impression about “being in Wisconsin for charity, darling.”

Brandi arrives at the party with a swollen tongue after having an allergic reaction, as well as a broken hand and busted knees. In other words: re-defining “hot mess chic.” She and Kim are BFF’s now that Brandi isn’t outing Kim for being an addict and Kim isn’t hiding Brandi’s crutches.

Brandi tells Kim how irritated she was to see Scheana, the broad who banged her husband while she was pregnant, at Lisa’s party. And not only that, but Lisa wanted her to congratulate Scheana on her engagement, which, to be fair, is absolutely ludicrous. Kim tells Brandi that she’s had her own problems with Lisa, and they both agree that they don’t want to be on her bad side.

Proud to Be An American

David is helping Yolanda study for her citizenship test. All of her kids are American citizens, and her Canadian-born husband is one now too. She never thought that she would spend her whole life in America, but it’s something that she’s very proud of. She passes the test later in the episode with flying (red, white and blue) colors.

Joyce meets with her personal trainer and fellow beauty queen Yvette to get in shape for Yvette’s photo shoot, even though working out isn’t Joyce’s thing. The photo shoot is going to be in Puerto Rico, where Joyce has also invited Kyle and Mauricio to join them there on a group getaway.

Lisa is having a photo shoot with Giggy and half a million dollars worth of diamonds. This scene is boring except that Lisa is fabulous and so rich it almost hurts.

Kyle and Brandi meet for a hike on a mountain, and Brandi still sounds like she got stung by a bee in the mouth. She basically invites herself and her on-again/off-again boyfriend to Joyce’s Puerto Rico trip, even though she hates Joyce. Real classy.

Then she talks to the other Richards sister about how she thinks that she’s being manipulated by Lisa. She says she thinks that Lisa has used her in the past to “do her dirty work” when it came to Adrienne Maloof and the Morally Corrupt Faye Resnick. Brandi says that Lisa is Bobby “F***ing” Fisher, and she treats her friendships like chess games. The two commiserate about how much smarter Lisa is than they are. At least they’re right about that.

Brandi says that she’s scared to “go up against Lisa.” So here’s a thought: how about don’t go up against Lisa. She’s your friend, you dummy. 

The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs Mondays at 8pm on Bravo.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

Gina Pusateri

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV