On the first part of The Real Housewives of Atlanta season 6 reunion, before Andy Cohen even finishes the most cordial part of the show — the greetings — you just know why Porsha clocks Kenya. The ex-beauty queen has brought a scepter with her as this year’s prop. During the last reunion, Kandi had to duck and cover every time Kenya decided to swish a fan around. This time around, Cynthia’s in danger of losing an eye.
Kenya actually has my sympathy, and I’m certain has garnered some among the viewers, after the grisly death of her beloved pooch. But she looks determined to squander it as early into the reunion as possible.
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Host Andy Cohen jumps right in, questioning Phaedra about the federal indictments against Apollo for fraud and identify theft. Phaedra makes it clear that he’s dealing with a complaint and not an indictment. She doesn’t bother to clarify the difference, and Andy doesn’t ask. Obviously, she can’t divulge too many details for legal reasons, but she can say that she was neither involved in any of her husband’s schemes nor aware of them.
Alive and Dancing with the Stars
NeNe discusses her health since that took center stage in the finale. The reunion is behind the times because most viewers already know that she was suffering from blood clots in her lungs. NeNe reveals that this is an ongoing concern because she’s currently on meds, and there are other precautions she has to take, particularly when flying.
Kandi’s Love Life on Blast
At the time the reunion was taped, Kandi was just one week from her nuptials. Her and Todd’s rocky road to the alter was a central storyline this season, culminating in her semi-biographical musical, A Mother’s Love, which was recently released on DVD.
Cynthia gets called out for putting the word ‘opportunist’ out there when it came to Kandi’s man, when in fact her friend Natalie never said it. Cynthia’s defense was that it was implied. When questioned if she thinks Todd is an opportunist, Cynthia says she doesn’t really even know Todd that well, so she couldn’t really say.
Phaedra’s adoration of Todd is no secret, and she knows him well. There’s no doubt in her mind that he’s not an opportunist. She takes great pride in the fact that she made the match herself — kind of like a modern day Jane Austen character.
Kandi confirms that Todd still hasn’t signed a pre-nup but only because she’s still in the process of drawing one up. Like ex-cast member Kim Zolciak, all the wedding preparations as well as her stroll down the aisle are being documented by Bravo.
Whores on One Couch, Christians on the Other
A fan calls out Phaedra for calling Kenya an “escapee from Whore Island,” a very un-Christian way to behave. Phaedra goes the eye for an eye route, pointing out Kenya’s made her fair share of comments. Kenya states she’s never called Phaedra out of her name. Kenya basically slams Phaedra for being a hypocrite, and Phaedra lays it out: don’t act like a whore, and she won’t call you one.
Woman’s Best Friend
Next comes what undoubtedly has to be Kenya’s favorite part of the show, when it becomes all about her. Between her legal battles with her landlord, house hunting and moving, making the decision to try and have a baby, the death of Velvet and her long-distance relationship, girlfriend had a lot on her plate. She still has plenty of time to rub a lot of people the wrong way.
Andy questions why Porsha, NeNe and Phaedra were not invited to Velvet’s memorial, and Kenya says that the show had started airing, so she was privy to some of the usual snarky comments that the women always make. Phaedra got a dressing-down for saying Kenya’s eggs were “scrambled.” Phaedra points out that she did send her condolences. Kenya confirms that the entire cast, with the exception of NeNe, reached out to her.
Phaedra does get in a dig when she says she was concerned because Velvet was one of Kenya’s only friends, and the bitter comment doesn’t slip by even though it is wrapped in sugar. Kenya calls Phaedra out for being shady. Things deteriorate, and Phaedra threatens to wrap Kenya’s scepter, which she’s waggling around instead of a finger, around her neck.
NeNe, who comes to every reunion with a sour puss, speaks up to defend herself. She claims to have talked to the other ladies about buying Kenya a new dog, but the idea never came to fruition, with some of the women believing it was just too soon.
Lovin’ on the Down-Low
Not only do the other women believe that Kenya’s African prince is a figment of her imagination, but so do a ton of viewers. Kenya says she’s dated a lot of men, some famous, and you’d be hard-pressed to track down any pictures of her and any of her assorted paramours in public because she keeps that part of her life under the radar.
Kenya swears she’s still in a relationship with this mystery man, but Porsha says the closest Kenya’s come to a boyfriend is her attempt to pay some Nigerian singer to play the part. Kenya starts swinging that scepter again, only this time Porsha snatches it right out of her hand and throws it on the ground. Kenya came prepared because her next prop is a megaphone.
Kandi and Phaedra are giggling, NeNe’s eyes are rolling and Porsha’s temperature is rising. Andy stirs the pot, saying he feels bad seeing Kenya’s scepter lying discarded on the ground. Porsha responds that she’ll stick that thing up a certain someone’s buttocks if it gets pointed in her direction again.
If you think of antagonistic behavior as an art form, Kenya is a Picasso. She tells Porsha to spell ‘scepter.’ We all know the girl is a dim bulb, but even I had to look it up.
Andy states that the only one of the women to meet this prince was NeNe, but she denies it. She believes Kenya made it seem like NeNe had met him to make the whole romance more legit. Kenya swears they met and that NeNe was incredibly rude. NeNe starts going NayNay, even on the always lovable Andy. She makes it clear that if she can’t talk without being interrupted, the subject is closed for discussion. Since everyone with a pulse is intimidated by NeNe, Kenya’s forced to shut it down, albeit temporarily.
NeNe says that a man approached her outside her hotel in Beverly Hills, but she couldn’t understand what he was saying due to his thick accent. She got in her car with a friend and left. Minutes later, Kenya called and asked why she walked off from her man. NeNe says Andy can be the judge if that qualifies as meeting the African prince.
Karma is a B**ch and So is Kenya
Kenya starts waxing poetic about karma coming for those who laugh or take pleasure out of other people’s misfortunes. She’s insinuating that Apollo’s legal woes and Porsha’s divorce are the result of their mistreatment of her.
Porsha is over Kenya playing the victim (pot calling kettle), and accuses the scepter swirler of being a villain from day one. Porsha says Kenya has knocked every one of her cast members, especially those she feels threatened by.
Kenya continues to call Porsha stupid, and the insults and accusations get nastier. Kenya claims that Porsha cheated on Kordell and then says she’s learned a lot about some of the women that she’s chosen “not to bring to the table.”
Porsha Goes Postal
There’s a little more back and forth when finally the moment we’ve all been waiting for happens. Kenya sticks that megaphone in Porsha’s face for the last time. Andy is ineffective in his usual role as human shield because Porsha gets a handful of Kenya’s hair and takes her down to the floor.
Kenya’s up like a shot, talking about how Porsha should be fired while her opponent is being held down by security. All of the other wives, minus Cynthia, come to Porsha’s aid, to get her to calm down. As the realization hits, she says over and over, “I can’t believe I did that.” Porsha apologizes to the other women and is carried off stage.
Meanwhile, Kenya’s off set making ultimatums that either Porsha goes or she does. Andy makes his apologies. He tells Kenya he would have moved quicker, but he “absolutely did not think that would happen.”
After donning a Team Kenya jersey, Andy goes to check on Porsha. Porsha admits that she might not have been ready for all of this. At first, I think she’s talking about the reunion, but she’s referring to her involvement on the show. She says filming started just weeks after she filed for divorce. The woman has been in tears for the better part of the season.
After two years of verbal abuse from Kenya, Porsha went postal. She even says she blacked out. Uh oh, that’s Norman Bates (Bates Motel) type stuff right there. Porsha tells Andy that she didn’t even realize what had happened; she was laying on the ground and saw NeNe. Andy makes it clear that she should keep her hands to herself and use her words. Porsha is remorseful for her actions but felt provoked.
At the end of the episode, Andy ejects Porsha from the reunion.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion part two airs next Sunday at 8 pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)