In this episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta, “Where is the Love Boat,” the women deal with the aftermath of Cynthia and Porsha’s explosive confrontation, Peter and Cynthia reach a turning point in their marriage and the ladies gather for brunch.
When we last left our favorite Georgia peaches, Kenya’s girls’ booze cruise had turned into an emotional Titanic. After Porsha playfully called Cynthia a bitch, Cynthia took umbrage and things got nasty fast. Even in the midst of the bickering, Porsha constantly adjusted her long locks so her boobs were on blast.
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Kicking and Screaming
Verbal insults and finger pointing devolved into a physical confrontation. At the start of this episode, we finally get to see what went down. Porsha gets a bit aggressive and invades the model’s personal space, and in return, Cynthia kicks Porsha in the stomach.
Porsha has to be pulled off Cynthia by some crew member, and the guy has to pin her down. Cynthia walks off, leaving Porsha screaming about how Cynthia is taking her personal and professional letdowns out on her.
Kandi and Sheree are left scratching their heads, wondering how things got so out of control so quickly, and Kim is truly shaken by the whole ordeal. No wonder she’s weary about hanging out with chicks. I’m guessing there aren’t a lot of beatdowns going on in the carpool lane at school. Kimmy even breaks down in tears. She’s convinced that when both Porsha and Cynthia calm down, they’ll be disappointed in their behavior. Obviously, Kim is not a fan of the show.
Kenya, who thrives on drama, escorts Cynthia below deck, where she insists that the camera back off. Upstairs, Porsha and Shamea hop on a small speed boat and head for shore.
Somewhat Battered and Kind of Broken
Back on dry land, Porsha, snug at home and nestled under a fur throw, is getting plenty of TLC from her mom and Shamea. Porsha complains of being sore and shows off her battle scars, which consist of a negligible scratch on her leg and a couple of bruises on her arm and stomach.
Porsha definitely feels like she’s been wronged. She spent all day trying to show her support for Cynthia, and this is the thanks she gets? I’m not condoning anybody’s behavior, but Porsha needs to own her part.
Kim and Phaedra meet up, and Kim fills Phaedra in on all the dirt, while Kenya recounts the day’s events to her aunt, Lori. The altercation is a hot topic because Kandi’s gossiping about it with Carmon and Don Juan. All three stories are being retold simultaneously, cutting back and forth. Kim equates the whole incident to watching kids argue, to which Phaedra replies, “Kids with breasts.”
Phaedra reports to Kim that Porsha has cuts and bruises all over her stomach. The attorney saw them for herself. Kim is a bit taken aback by this news since Cynthia was wearing flat sandals and concludes that whatever Porsha has going on with her midriff isn’t from the scuffle.
Kenya has her girl Cynthia’s back and portrays Porsha as a vindictive, deeply-disturbed troublemaker. Cynthia was just protecting herself from a possible threat. Lori suggests that Kenya be a goodwill ambassador, invite everybody to another get-together and try to sort things out. Kenya agrees. She doesn’t want the Lake Lanier incident to create long-lasting hard feelings within the group.
Cynthia Faces Her Issues
Cynthia calls Peter and asks him to come home. Marital problems aside, Peter, aka “Patricia” (the honorary housewife), is her rock. Cynthia feels that she could have handled the situation differently. No?! You don’t say. Cynthia doesn’t know if she hurt Porsha, but she tells Peter she hopes she didn’t. Peter insists that if Cynthia kicked Porsha, she hurt her, and Cynthia gets very defensive. Peter’s conviction that his wife more than likely caused Porsha some pain and suffering freaks her out.
Cynthia admits that she overreacted and that she’s just not herself these days. In 47 years, Cynthia’s never had a physical altercation with anyone. Even Peter is sure that all the emotional stuff Cynthia is going through has nothing to do with Porsha. He thinks Cynthia owes Porsha an apology, but more importantly, he wants to know where his wife’s head is at.
Cynthia wants them to make more of an effort to get their marriage back on track. She wants to know that she and Peter are moving forward. Peter recognizes that things aren’t good and he’s willing to do whatever it takes. They’ve been saying the same stuff to each other since the season premiere, and we’re now at episode 5. Time for more action and less talk.
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And Baby Makes Three
Kandi’s about halfway through her pregnancy, and while her fibroids aren’t causing her pain, they’re still a concern. Not only does she see an OB/GYN, Dr. Jackie, she also goes to a specialist every two weeks.
She and Todd go in for a check-up and everything seems to being going well, right up to the point when Dr. Jackie can’t find a heartbeat. Just as the doctor is set to do an ultrasound to make sure everything is copacetic, Todd leaves to make a phone call. Kandi is annoyed that he left, but she keeps it to herself. Eventually, Baby Tucker’s heartbeat comes through loud and clear, and Kandi gets a visual of her pride and joy. One thing Kandi doesn’t want to know is the sex, although she and Todd are really hoping for a boy.
Kenya Plays Peacemaker
Kenya decides to sit down with Porsha one-on-one in an effort to pave the way for a reconciliation between Porsha and Cynthia. Since Kenya and Porsha had a similar incident and were able to get past it, Kenya’s convinced she can help. I just think she likes the spotlight any way she can get it.
Kenya asks Porsha how she’s feeling about how things went down on the boat ride from hell. Porsha points out that it was all fun and games until Kenya started throwing shade at Shamea and insisting that the woman walk the plank. Kenya feels like Porsha’s trying to shift the blame and explains that it doesn’t really matter how things started; it’s how you deal with the situation.
Kenya blathers on about how out of all of the other girls, she can lend a unique perspective since she got her ass handed to her by Porsha. Kenya wants to help Porsha in any kind of way.
Porsha isn’t moved by Kenya’s pageant princess speak. She also doesn’t understand Kenya’s vested interest in a fight that had nothing to do with her.
Kenya proceeds to scold Porsha for her behavior on the boat, and Porsha just isn’t having it. She resents being talked at and knows that Kenya has no compassion for her whatsoever. Friends don’t call friends “hostile” and “violent.” Porsha doesn’t feel the need to justify her actions, least of all to Kenya, but she’s willing to talk to Cynthia. Kenya’s just not happy unless everything is about her, and she brings up the reunion throwdown once again, but Porsha’s had enough quality time with Kenya and gets up to leave. Kenya backs down a bit and admits that she thinks both women were wrong but can make amends.
The only reason Porsha is entertaining the idea of letting bygones be bygones is because she knows firsthand the hell Cynthia is going through. Porsha is willing to confront it and be done with it.
Ladies Who Lunch
All the ladies gather for the peace summit/brunch Kenya has organized. Cynthia is feeling embarrassed, but Kim doesn’t have the time or patience to pussyfoot around the issue at hand, so she gets the conversation started. Cynthia and Porsha decide to step outside, and Sheree warns the women that they better return in one piece.
Cynthia is genuinely concerned over whether Porsha is okay physically. Porsha admits that she was a bit banged-up and had to take a few days off work. Please … girl, bye. Each woman explains her recollection of the events. Cynthia has no qualms about taking responsibility for her actions, and both women seem eager to move forward and be cool again.
Kenya can’t wait to tell the other ladies about her conversation with Porsha and how Miss P doesn’t like to take personal responsibility for her actions. Kandi responds that Kenya likes to point out everybody’s else’s bad behavior but doesn’t practice what she preaches. Kenya says she’s glad Kandi is eager to stand up for Porsha (sarcasm) but wishes Kandi would extend her the same courtesy once in a while. Kenya backs down because she thinks it’s bad karma to fight with a pregnant woman.
Cynthia and Porsha return to the table and all is well. An unexpected byproduct of this whole mess is that it brought Peter and Cynthia closer and made their marriage stronger. So if you’re having marital issues, go out and beat up a friend. It might work wonders. It looks like Cynthia, aka “Kung Fu Panda,” will be keeping her feet to herself for the foreseeable future.
The Real Housewives of Atlanta airs Sundays at 8pm on Bravo.
(Image courtesy of Bravo)