There are some choice words I have in mind to say to and about Jason Mesnick, but since I don’t want to sully this publication with the unsavoriness of my sailor’s vernacular, I shall type what I am thinking into the American to British Translator:
Jason Mesnick is an effing plonker who needs to go feck himself. This bugger should be ashamed of himself. He’s a blooming tom tit head. He is a total toss-pot chevy chase, if I ever saw one. Also, my German is a little rusty, but I just have to add that Jason Mesnick ist ein Scheiße-Hauptarschloch.
For those of you who might have missed the shizz show last night, Jason was down to two women in the season finale of The Bachelor, Molly Malaney and Melissa Rycroft. Each woman got a chance to spend time with Jason’s parents, brothers and son, Ty. After a very brief visit by DeAnna Pappas, wherein she advised Jason to “lead” his heart rather than “follow” his heart, Jason decided that he had to let Molly go. He sent her away, promptly ran up to his balcony and wept buckets of Man-Tears of Great Sorrow at having broken someone’s heart. Then he immediately went down on one knee to propose to Melissa, the love of his life.
Thus endeth the great romance of The Bachelor season 13. Or did it?
The “After the Final Rose” special, which aired directly after the season finale, continued this sordid saga. Jason had the audacity to sit there, on camera, and dump Melissa, whom he had hitherto promised to spend his life with, because he couldn’t stop thinking about Molly. What kind of twat does that? I am in complete agreement with Melissa when she told him, “You are such a bastard.”
According to Chris Harrison, who should be ashamed of himself for presiding over this grand debacle, there was no studio audience present at the taping of “After the Final Rose,” out of respect for the parties involved. Right, like that makes any difference at all. Does he not remember that the whole thing is being aired on national television, and millions of people are watching? If they really had any respect for the parties involved, they would have allowed Jason to break up with Melissa in private.
Look, I know that breakups happen. People fall out of love, or they find themselves in different places in their lives, or they just develop new interests. I’m not saying that Jason was wrong in not wanting to be with Melissa anymore. The thing is, breakups suck hard enough as it is, but did he have to make it so public?
I understand that Jason has been begging for absolution from the millions of people who are now out for his blood by claiming that he had no choice in the matter, that the contract he signed with ABC before appearing on The Bachelor, stipulated that his relationship must be “in front of everybody,” as he told People magazine. Well, couldn’t he have broken up with Melissa in private before the taping of “After the Final Rose,” and then the two could have discussed their break up in front of the cameras and a studio audience? How is that any less public than blindsiding her with a dumping?
And if we’re playing the “Couldn’t he have…?” game, couldn’t he have, y’know, not proposed? I am sure that ABC and The Bachelor encourage proposals, but a diamond ring is definitely not a requirement. Hell, Brad Womack proved that a Final Rose isn’t even required. For the record, I never vilified Brad for his decision to dump everyone, and in fact, not choosing anyone is what normal people would do. Why did Jason have to jerk poor Melissa around like that?
I know all of you have very strong opinions about what happened last night, and I encourage you all to express them. Let us all purge ourselves of this ugly, shameful disaster by writing what’s on our minds. But one thing I urge you to do is not to blame Molly. I think the real perpetrators of villainy here are Jason and the producers of the show, who saw fit to profit off of Melissa’s humiliation. I don’t know right now whether Jason was telling the truth that he had no contact with Molly prior to the taping of the show (although, Chris Harrison’s repeated insistence that he had no contact is a sure sign to me that he did), but without further evidence of any covert shenanigans on her part, I’m willing to consider her innocent in this matter.
One thing I will promise to all of you who are reading my thoughts here: If I ever see Jason Mesnick walking around in Seattle, I will give him a swift kick to the nads. It’s the least he deserves.
Don’t forget that “After the Final Rose” Part 2 will be on tonight. What do you think will happen?
Read related Bachelor articles:
The Bachelor 13: After the Final Rose, Part 2, Live Thoughts
BuddyTV Digital Video: Debbie Explains The Bachelor Finale to Oscar
Jason Mesnick = Jerkface
Jason Mesnick Finds “The One”
The Bachelor 13: Season Finale Live Thoughts
The Bachelor 13: After the Final Rose, Part 1, Live Thoughts
-Debbie Chang, BuddyTV Staff Writer
(Image courtesy of ABC)
Jason Mesnick is now neither eligible nor desirable. Check out some of TV’s other eligible bachelors