Dear Lance,

Almost always, there’s a team on The Amazing Race that we all love to hate.  I won’t claim to know everyone, but I’ll think of names at the top of my head.  Jonathan and Victoria?  Ugh.  Colin and Christie?  Ugh.  The earliest I can remember, Flo and Zach–well, I only hated Flo, so I’ve GOT a half-ugh for that.  Same goes for Terence and Sarah.

I’m sure you know where I’m going here, right?

If it isn’t any more obvious, I don’t like you.  I really, really don’t.  Now, there are teams that get on my nerves every season, but not as much as you have.  I understand your competitive nature; it’s a necessity.  I understand that things aren’t really going well between you and Keri, at least as the two episodes I’ve seen so far suggest.  Maybe you’re too aggressive?  Perhaps, but then again, it’s a necessity on the race, although the degree of your aggressiveness will make or break you, so that argument’s out of the window.

I totally don’t understand why you have to be so… manly, though.  I don’t really have the word for it.  Your machismo is just too strong, too out there.  It seems you’re in the race to demonstrate that you’re this strong dude with brawn.  You know, the type I associate often with body builders.  The type that goes “raaaah!” while you flex your arms.

I’d have no problem with it if it was just really you I’m seeing, but it seems you’re just doing it for show.  Say, like when you refused to ask for directions, even if you got lost a number of times in Ho Chi Minh already.  (And that instance when you weren’t in Ho Chi Minh yet.)  You tried to virtually pin the blame on Keri, who only wanted you to calm down and ask for directions.  Surely it isn’t so hard, right?  Everybody else asks for directions.  For heaven’s sake, this is a race!

Or when you insisted to “shred” the VCR apart during the roadblock, claiming that it’s “the man thing to do”, when everybody else used those power tools.  There’s a reason why Matt suffered a few small cuts during that roadblock–and he already used power tools at that.

Oh, right, The Amazing Race is a reality show.  You know, 15 minutes of fame.

Well, Lance.  I’m afraid I’ll never like you despite whatever else happens on the next few legs of the race.  While the race is already finished, and there’s nothing I can do to change the result, I’ll still hope that you get eliminated as early as possible, if only to save all of us the stress of watching you
get your way.  Give us a favor, please, and stay in last place next week.

Respectfully on the other side,
Henrik Batallones, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of CBS)

Henrik Batallones

Staff Writer, BuddyTV