Ken and Tina! Nick and Starr! Andrew and Dan! The Middle-Aged Couple! The Siblings! The Frat Buffoons! It’s The Amazing Race 13 finale! We’ve endured another solid season of CBS’s highly-acclaimed travel-based reality series, and tonight brings the finale, where two worthy teams compete for the million dollars against one team that has advanced to the final leg thanks to incredible, unthinkable luck. Personally, I’m rooting for favorites Nick and Starr, the sibling duo who have thoroughly dominated the race this season. The Amazing Race will return early next year, so there’s no worries about cancellation, as there have been in season’s past. So, sit back and relax, and watch the finale of the great race. I’ll be here throughout the night, dumping live thoughts into the transfer station of the internet tubes. Enjoy, ma’ams and sirs, and comment with your thoughts in the denoted section below.
Andy Rooney talked about watches tonight. Just watches. No big deal. I think I’m out of Andy Rooney jokes. I’m over it.
We begin the episode with a long recap of the season and then a commercial. An hour ago, I watched my downtrodden Seattle Seahawks gift-wrap a come form behind victory to the New England Patriots, better known as “Evil Incarnate.” If you wish death upon me, approach me on the street, hand me a sharp object and simply mention Seattle sports, then watch as I jam that sharp object into my eyeball.
Teams start in Moscow, Nick and Starr are team number one. Teams have to fly to Portland, Oregon. Nick and Starr are leaving Moscow at 11pm. Each team will probably get on the same flight. Once in Portland, teams have to go to an Adventure Camp to get their next clue. Andrew and Dan leave the pit stop at nearly 3am. Ken and Tina leave a half hour later. Sam flight for all.
Humorously, Andrew and Dan say they deserve to be in the final three. This is entirely untrue, sirs. Tina believes Kenny has changed. She is also completely on edge.
The teams connect in Frankfurt and arrive in Portland in the morning, it looks like. Nick and Starr are in first place leaving the airport, followed by Ken and Tina. Andrew and Dan’s cab driver have no idea where he’s going. Nick and Starr’s take a wrong turn. Ken and Tina arrive first at the adventure camp first. It’s a Detour – High and Dry or Low and Wet. In High and Dry, teams have to climb a big tree and balance across high up in the air. In Low and Wet, teams must traverse a long log across water. Ken and Tina do High and Dry, and so do Nick and Starr. Tina is afraid of heights. Each teammate has to climb a big tree, walk across a branch and then jump onto a bar and grab half of the clue.
Tina’s having a tough time. Ken and Tina finish it, and Starr overtakes Tina. They finish, get their next clue. They have to take a taxi to the Bridge of the Gods, where they take a massive zip line to their next clue.
Tina is having a really hard time taking that final leap to grab the bar and the last clue. She eventually finishes. Both teams finish before Andrew and Dan show up. Ken and Tina finish soon after. Dandrew finally reach the camp. Nick and Starr’s cabbie misses the Bridge exit, allowing Ken and Tina to pass them. The zip line is crazy. Crazy. Really high, and really long, and it looks like a lot of fun. Nick and Starr arrive at the Bridge right as Tina takes the zip line first.
Ken and Tina have to now use their memory. They have to answer ten questions, one for every one of the legs. Each leg number is on a board, and on each number piece their will be a picture of the Detour, Road Block, etc. Then, they have to search through a field of 150 clue boxes and find a picture that correctly corresponds to the picture. It’s pretty intense, and could take a while. Starr drops nice cleavage during her zip-line.
Nick and Starr quickly catch up to Ken and Tina, on the fourth leg, but it’s neck and neck. Dandrew finally make it to the Bridge. Nick and Starr find the final picture just as Ken and Tina are searching for the final one. The siblings head to the parking lot for their next clue.
Ken and Tina find the last picture soon after. Nick and Starr now have to travel to downtown Portland to the Portland building and find a green dinosaur in a building across the street. Dandrew start doing the clues. It will take them a while. Ken and Tina’s cabbie pass Nick and Starr’s on the way into downtown. Nick and Starr then retake the lead. The cabs don’t really know where they’re going, though. Nick and Starr’s cabbie take a better route, apparently. Starr immediately spots the green dinosaur. Their next clue tells them to walk to find a food cart with the country of their last pit stop. They’re looking for the Russian food cart. Ken and Tina have a little trouble finding the green dinosaur.
Ken and Tina are right on Nick and Starr’s heels. Nick and Starr get direction to their next clue, where “The Magic in the Hole” is. It’s the slogan for Voodoo Doughnuts. A helpful pedestrian gives them directions. Starr is struggling to keep up pace with Nick. Ken and Tina get better directions to the doughnut shop, apparently.
Nick and Starr get the clue, and they’re heading to the Pit Stop. The final pit stop. It is a race to the finish. Both teams are looking for a taxi. Neither can find one. This is intense, folks.
Who knows what the magic of editing has done here in these final moments. Nick and Starr get in one first, apparently, but Ken and Tina find one also. Ken and Tina pray in the back of their cab. Nick and Starr do not.
There’s Phil, waiting on the giant mat. The winning team is approaching.
NICK AND STARR HAVE WON THE AMAZING RACE 13!!!
The teams applaud Nick and Starr. They have won one million dollars. Good for them. They deserve it. And, it looks like my predictions were right on. Ken and Tina show up quickly, and are team number two. Upon finishing, Ken takes out their old wedding rings. He tearily asks if she’ll wear it again. They both put their rings on and kiss. Even Phil sheds a tear. Awww.
Andrew and Dan reach the finish line some time later. They are team number three and are not disappointed at all. They admit that the first and second place teams were far superior to them.
And that is all. We will have interviews with the top three teams next week, starting with the winning team, which we will post tomorrow.
-Oscar Dahl, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image Courtesy of CBS)