Let’s talk about Cochran, He is like, a double or triple agent at this point. Because Ozzy and Savaii are trying to paint him as a semi-evil genius, which they don’t think he actually is. But he sort of is, because he’s very smart and intuitive and has a secret alliance with Jim? It’s very confusing, let’s just see how this plays out if the merge even happens! Will this go down as one of the greatest moves in Survivor history?

Back at the Savaii camp, Keith is loving on Ozzy for his integrity and manhood, and skeptical of Cochran who is just a tad weasely. Cochran already pretty much hates these people, and is ready to take on the “role” of hating them in the open. I think he’ll manage.

Ozzy wakes Christine up on Redemption Island and plants the seed about Evil Cochran. Everybody’s doing some ACTING in this episode!

Everyone shows up for this duel, which is promising for the prospect of a merge. Upolu looks surprised to see Ozzy, but they don’t know that everybody be acting. Ozzy put on a real show, with a rehearsed monologue and it looked like Sophie and Albert weren’t buying it. Albert even whispered, “I’m not buying it.”

After the monologue, Jeff just moved on and introduced the challenge. And indeed, the winner of the duel will go back into the game! It all hinges on getting out of that fake bamboo jail cell with a pole. Total Pirates of the Caribbean move.

Christine tries first, with a pole that is long enough but not strong enough. Ozzy tries next, and the key ring is just on the edge of the pole. It drops into the sand, making for a more difficult grab. He gets the first key as Christine re-constructs her pole. Ozzy grabs his second key, then the third. And quickly, Ozzy puts an end to Christine’s rule of complacency on Redemption Island.

Ozzy’s back in it and Savaii cheers. Cochran feigns disappointment (or does he?). Jeff calls for the Merge, and now it’s all up to Double Agent Cochran.

New camp, new food! Or rather, food at all! Coach and Cochran get some one-on-one time and Coach is actually speaking some truth. Cochran realizes that Coach is smart, and is considering siding with Upolu. He should! Sophie is totally smart and awesome!

Cochran pow-wows with Coach, Sophie, and Albert, and tells them most of the truth about Ozzy and his lack of acting prowess. Loyalty is important to old Upolu, but that can be gained! Cochran tells Brandon that Keith has been the rudest. He also acknowledges that this tribe seems very honest. Honest to a fault, when it comes to Brandon. Cochran returns the immunity idol to Ozzy, as promised. But how exciting for Cochran to be the point person! It’s a good place to be for someone who is unlikely to win individual immunity.

Dawn approaches Cochran on their way to get the tree mail. She notes that she and Cochran have both been on the outs of Savaii. I love Dawn, but she might care too much. She cries because she wants to be one of those people who stands up for what she believes in, and she wishes she had stood up for Cochran. Dawn! So sweet!

Cochran tells Dawn that it’s the first time they can take charge of their own destiny in the game, rather than surrendering to the Savaii scheme, which they’re at the bottom of.

One man and one woman will win immunity at this challenge. They will hold coconuts between ropes at increasingly disparate distances. I hope Keith does something dumb, which is like hoping Edna fails at a physically demanding challenge. Inevitable!

Edna is out immediately, followed by Cochran, and Whitney is out at the second level. Sophie drops out next, and Dawn wins immunity out of the women! Coach drops his coconut next, and Rick is real wobbly. Rick’s out, looking constipated, followed by Jim, then Keith. Keith freaks out and punches something, which probably hurt his hand. So dramatic.

It’s down to Brandon, Ozzy, and Albert. Brandon is out, and it’s down to Ozzy, for Savaii, and Albert, for Upolu. Albert drops out, and Ozzy is the champion of the men. Back to Te Tuna for overconfident talk from the former Savaii members! They decide it’s between Rick and Sophie, and Jim keeps saying, “we’re going to rocks, right?! We’re going to rocks.”

Ozzy tells Cochran that maybe he should still play a little waffle-y. Cochran doesn’t want to leave this game to rocks. That is not how this game is to be played! Cochran goes to Sophie and tells her the former Savaii game plan. Sophie won’t tell Cochran who she’s voting for, and Cochran asks her not to let him get eaten alive, which would absolutely happen if he flipped.

Coach convinces Cochran that is time for the victim to rise and provide a Bully Beatdown, which is one of the best, most underrated shows on MTV and MTV2. Dawn is now unwilling to flip, and tells Cochran that “what goes around comes around,” and she believes karma will come back for the former Savaii members. Cochran doesn’t care about that as much as Dawn does.

Dawn has decided to stay loyal to the tribe, and tells Cochran that it’s not right to flip. But is that in Cochran’s best interest? I don’t know. Will they let it go to rocks?

“The only way to break up a tribe is for someone to defect,” Jeff says. Cochran, a self-proclaimed student of the game, has never seen two tribes so unified, or equally matched at the merge, but he doesn’t do odds, he does SURVIVOR. Agh, this tribal council is so complicated. So many immunity idols and necklaces and alliances.

Ozzy admits to Upolu that he (“we”) has the idol. So it was a bit of a charade at Redemption Island, which Upolu suspected. He seems very confident. Before the votes are revealed, Ozzy says he will play the immunity idol for Whitney, just as Cochran told Sophie he would. This is crazy!

But the gamble doesn’t look good, Upolu voted for Keith. Six votes Keith, six votes Rick. So Cochran went with Savaii once. What to do now?! Keith is a total douche! Get rid of him, Cochran! He has absolutely been the worst bully, right? And Upolu knew that. Little does Cochran know that siding with Upolu would mean siding with Brandon the Nutball.

The final vote goes to Keith, which shocks all the former Savaii members. Cochran turns to his former tribe members, “I swapped. I’ll explain it.” And Jim calls him a coward. This game is so interesting! Jim calls him a coward again, and Brandon says, “don’t talk to him like that! That’s what you get for talkin’ like that in the first place!” then he tells Cochran to stay close to him. Ohhh my god what is happening?! I’ve got goosebumps.

Oh yes, they will eat Cochran alive.

(images courtesy of CBS)

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).