THEN: Sam and Dean got back into the swing of things by ganking Paris Hilton while Castiel was off searching for God.
NOW: Supernatural and little kids go together like peanut butter and jelly. It doesn’t matter if they’re adorable kids growing up without a dad who Dean bonds with in season 1, scary little girls with an evil imaginary friend in season 2, Lilith in season 3, or a little girl who accidentally brought a suicidal teddy bear into the world in season 4. Now Supernatural continues its time-honored trend of creepy little kids with the most adorable little Anti-Christ you’ve ever seen.
A babysitter has to put up with some bratty little kid, but the joke’s on her because the next morning, she’s dead. It turns out she scratched her own brains out because the little boy she was watching put itching powder on her hair brush. See, she should’ve let him touch her boob like he wanted.
The second suspicious death in this small Nebraska town is the victim of a joy buzzer that electrocuted him. It’s at this point I start to think I might see someone get a pie in the face in this episode of Supernatural, and that makes me happy, even if it never actually happens.
Dean confiscates the powerful murdering joy buzzer and decides to run a test on a raw ham. He covers up then touches the pig, which is well done and crispy in 10 seconds flat. I smell a new infomercial sensation, but all Dean smells is delicious dinner, so he pigs out on the pork.
Putting together the itching powder and joy buzzer, Sam and Dean head straight for the local joke shop. It’s run by a surly old man who hates all those stupid little kids who only care about their iPhones and stupid “kissing vampire movies.” Wow, that’s the second anti-vampire reference this season. I’m fine if it’s against Twilight, but I’m actually loving The Vampire Diaries, so lay off it, Supernatural writers.
At the joke shop, Dean decides to buy a whoopee cushion before trying to get the owner to admit he’s behind this demonic objects. The sight of a rubber chicken roasted with the joy buzzer scares the bejesus out of the owner, which is a good sign that he’s not behind it.
Across town, it’s time for yet another strange thing to come true. A man puts his daughter to bed and promises the Tooth Fairy will pay her a visit. The little girl is smart enough to be freaked out by that, so she sneaks in and puts her tooth under her dad’s pillow instead. That night, he’s visited by a fat, hairy man in a pink tutu with wings and a pair of pliers. Parents, please take this episode as a lesson: do NOT lie to your kids.
At the hospital the next day, the Winchesters put this Tooth Fairy sighting together with the two previous incidents, plus some sick kids who combined Pop Rocks and Coke and a guy whose face froze in a silly position. The conclusion: everything little kids believe in is coming true. They settle on the fact that they’re dealing with a God. Or the Trickster. Or a 9-year-old boy. Or Dean. It’s odd how all of them are equally suspicious given this string of events.
Back at the motel, Sam determines there’s a house at the center of all those events. Unfortunately the motel is also in that radius, as Dean learned because he now has a hairy palm. Eww, I guess someone was charming the white snake and that joy-buzzed ham wasn’t the only meat he was enjoying. At least we now know Dean’s love of pornography is being put to good use.
The Winchesters investigate the house and meet a little boy named Jesse. He’s pretty snarky for a little boy, but Sam eventually learns that the boy believes in all the things that have been happening, and he even has a drawing of the Tooth Fairy that looks just like the guy who attacked the man. Dean wants to put a theory to the test, so he shows off his joy buzzer and tells Jesse that it’s a harmless toy. Jesse believes him, so Dean touches Sam with the buzzer and…nothing happens.
Wow, I don’t care if Dean is right, that was kind of a dick move, putting Sam’s life in danger over a theory. But now that they know Jesse is making this happen, they do research and learn he was adopted, so they check in on the mother. She’s on edge and throws salt on them, meaning she knows all about demons because she used to be possessed by one, for nine whole months.
Yes, this woman was possessed and gave birth to a child, despite being a virgin, so it looks like sweet little Jesse is just like Jesus, only the opposite. Sort of an Anti-Christ, if you will.
After leaving the mom, the boys call in Castiel, who confirms that Jesse is the actual Anti-Christ. Except in the world of Supernatural, the Anti-Christ isn’t the son of Lucifer, just a very important hell-spawn. Sam and Dean aren’t sure how to deal with this kind of evil, but Cas knows they have to kill him.
It’s a very serious moment, but it’s slightly marred by the fact that Cas sat on Dean’s whoopee cushion. I guess in an episode about the Anti-Christ, you need a farting angel. The Winchesters have some moral issues around killing a little kid, but Cas assures them that Jesse will destroy all the angels with a single thought.
If the boys aren’t willing to do it, Cas has no problems getting his hands dirty. He goes to Jesse with a knife behind his back, promising not to hurt the little boy. But Jesse is scared, so he uses his magical powers of thinking things into existence to turn Cas into a tiny little Cas action figure. Supernatural could make a TON of money if they actually sold Castiel action figures.
Sam and Dean show up not to kill Jesse, but to talk him into helping them by feeding him a bogus story about going to a special X-Men school for superhero kids. It almost works too, except Mommy Dearest, once again possessed by the demon, shows up to bring the kid over to the Dark Side.
The demon has strict orders not to damage Sam’s pretty face, due to him being Lucifer’s vessel and whatnot, but she flings Dean around the room like a rag doll for fun before telling Jesse that these boys are liars and he needs to come with her.
Luckily Sam is able to get a word in, and Jesse is eager to hear what he has to say, so he makes Demon Mommy shut up and sit down. Sam tells the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth, not holding back any of the scary details. Much like Grey’s Anatomy, this week’s demon is actually a thinly veiled metaphor for Sam to work out his own issues.
Much like Jesse, Sam had a little demon in him, but he chose poorly and went over to the Dark Side. Sam needs proof that, given the same set of circumstances, he could use his powers for good. Jesse, who’s showing more maturity than Sam did when he gave in to his demon blood drinking days, agrees and makes the demon get out of his mom.
The Winchesters then try to convince Jesse to come with them, but leave his family behind because they’ll just get hurt, like their dad did when a demon killed him. I know they’re talking to a kid, but that’s not entirely true. Yes, John Winchester was killed by a demon, but it was something he agreed to as part of a deal to save Dean’s life. But I suppose that tiny detail doesn’t help their argument.
Jesse agrees, but goes upstairs to say goodbye first. While he’s in his room, he decides that he doesn’t want to be a part of this fight, so he vanishes, but not before restoring everything back to normal, including Cas.
In the final car ride out of town, Sam and Dean look back on their childhoods and think that maybe life would’ve been better if their dad had lied to them. I hate to call B.S. on Supernatural, but we’ve been down that road before, and I thought everyone was in agreement that lying to Sam and Dean about demons would’ve been worse.
Next week on Supernatural: It’s a repeat of the season 5 premiere. Stupid repeats! But don’t worry, because in two weeks, Supernatural is back with Dean as an old man. And poker!