Republican presidential hopeful Mike Huckabee has been on The Colbert Report a few times over the past year, and during his appearance on Wednesday’s show he jokingly asked Stephen Colbert to be his running mate in the upcoming election. Colbert, who abandoned his own 2008 presidential bid back in November, responded with an enthusiastic, “Yes, a thousand times yes.” Is it time for the citizens of America to get ready for the Huckabee/Colbert campaign? And will noted Huckabee Supporter/King of the Internet Chuck Norris be the Secretary of Defense?
Mike Huckabee obviously realizes that having Stephen Colbert as vice president has many advantages. As Colbert himself pointed out, the fact that he’s visited Sandals resorts in Jamaica and the Bahamas gives him the foreign policy experience that Huckabee lacks. Colbert could also push for the option to work “truthiness” into bills, or possibly into the Constitution itself. Imagine the oodles of extra freedom we would have if those pesky amendments weren’t so concerned with wording and logic. If we could just bend some of those supreme laws by adding in a few extra words, we could really start to have some fun in this country. It’s about time that truthiness made its way into the political realm, and Stephen Colbert is the only man who can bring it to Washington.
As for Chuck Norris, who could possibly be a better Secretary of Defense to protect our nation during these troubled times? Huckabee has already proven that he’s BFFs with The Bearded Wonder in ads such as this one:
The only thing I know for sure in this crazy world is this: we need Chuck Norris in a position of political power. If Mike Huckabee has to tag along with him, so be it. We know that Chuck Norris is the reason Waldo is hiding in those Where’s Waldo? books, so imagine the fear he would strike into terrorists around the globe. We know that the tears of Chuck Norris can cure cancer, so if it were possible to make him cry just imagine the effect it would have on national health care. Yes, it is time to stop calling America a democracy, and start referring to it as a Chucktatorship.
The Huckabee/Colbert partnership has already been announced, and the involvement of The Remarkable Roundhousing Redhead cannot be far behind. It’s time to ask yourself who you’re going to vote for in November, and you better hope that Norris likes your answer. Remember, the man can change the laws of physics using nothing but his fists.
– Don Williams, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of Comedy Central)