We begin with the Adrienne/Lisa showdown. Lisa is calm, cool and collected as she sits and waits for her apology from Adrienne. Adrienne apologizes, nervously. Did you expect to see a shaken Ms. Maloof? I didn’t. Lisa clearly enjoys it too. Adrienne stumbles over the silence and the tangled words she chooses to fill that silence until Lisa finally accepts her apology.

Peace Retreat

Over to Yolanda’s, Kim comes by to hang. She invites Yolanda on a girls trip up to Ojai. Kim is hoping for a positive experience and a chance to mend friendships. Has anyone told her that her show is on Bravo? Peaceful pipe dream? Yolanda is game though, and as we’ve seen her thus far, is genuinely excited and appreciative for the invite.

Book Dealin’

Brandi has her literary agent over to talk about her upcoming book deal. They talk titles for a bit, “It’s Divorce, Not Cancer” is apparently not gelling with the Harper Collins folks. Brandi lets us in on her diligent, marital note-taking, from therapy sessions in the last days of her marriage, all the way through her divorce. She’s excited about sharing these stories with the world in the hopes that it will help someone going through a similar ordeal. Plus, it will make her ex, Eddie, and his new wife, LeAnn Rimes, look like jerks. While making a pretty penny too, I’m sure. Win, win! 

Body By Brandi

Next we find Brandi is in a photoshoot for Lisa’s magazine, Beverly Hills Lifestyle. Flashback to 90’s Brandi and we get a view of her short-lived modeling career. Brandi is clearly under Lisa’s fabulous wing, so she’s in good hands. Brandi asks about her meeting with Adrienne and doesn’t hold back the fact that she’s not a fan. She goes through a few more looks at the shoot and is super nit-picky with her photos. Lisa is supportive, with nothing but praise. She sees the vulnerability in Brandi and her insecurity that stems from the disastrous way her married ended.

Road Gossip

The girls gather at Kyle’s place to head up to Ojai. Kim makes it known that she’s not overly thrilled that Brandi will be in attendance, but this trip is all about peace and serenity, so she’ll keep it in check. They hop in a limo and Camille (oh hey, Camille!) talks about Kelsey’s new tattoo. Which is apparently located near his bikini line? A few small penis jokes later, and the hens are cackling away.

Shared Spaces

In Ojai, the ladies settle into the mansion they’re staying in. Kyle panics a bit when she finds out that a few of them will need to be roommates for the weekend. EEK. On the flipside, Yolanda gets out of her private jet ride and hops into her limo to head to Ojai.

Yolanda Love

Yolanda arrives with a sweet and warm greeting for everyone. Ah, the newbie. Not a catty or backhanded bone in her body. Lisa and Brandi arrive and Kim immediately stiffens, but gives her a quick fake peck to be polite. Lisa has a minor freak out about having to share a room with Brandi. Her highness has to bunk up? THE NERVE. They compare panties in their room and Lisa sticks with her routine no-sex Ken jokes.

Dinner Drama

Kim leads a toast at dinner that turns into a warm and tear-jerking welcome. Everyone is happy to see her stronger and healthier. Brandi compliments Kim on her daughters and how sweet they are. Kim’s walls begin to come down and you can see how much she appreciates the compliment. They talk about their respective empty nests and the dark holes they’ve both managed to crawl out of. Kim gets emotional again, and just as they seem to be moving past their beef, Adrienne yells, “someone’s crying!” Brandi is miffed that Adrienne is drawing attention to Kim in this fragile state and snaps back, “shut the f*** up.” The girls are stunned by her crassness and simultaneously brace for a serenity-themed blowout.

(Image courtesy of Bravo)

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