The Real Housewives are no strangers to opulence, but when I heard that Teresa Giudice has declared bankruptcy, the episodes of The Real Housewives of New Jersey became creepy warning signs against spending money like it’s going out of style. Here are my top five signs of the (financial) apocalypse from last night’s episode.

1.  When your party planner’s name is Elvira, and she makes fun of you for not having live-in help, show her the door and cancel the party.

2. Gold furniture. It was Elvira’s idea, but this one should be obvious.

3.  A post-partum shopping spree. Teresa, you should ask yourself, do I NEED that zebra hat? Will that chinchilla cape make the pain go away?

4. It is said that when two Kims drink of the same cup, it is an omen of financial ruin.

5. With little else to release, Danielle is releasing a single. Oh, that’s not a sign of a financial apocalypse, it’s a sign of the real, end-of-days apocalypse.

Carla Patton

Writer, BuddyTV

Originally from Seattle, Carla recently took a husband and moved to Austin, Texas, where she is finally using her television “problem” to her advantage. It’s sort of like Dexter, but boring and less murdering. Carla’s favorite shows include 30 RockThe Amazing RaceProject RunwayModern Family, anything with murder, and pretty much anything gross and weird (CSIThe BachelorToddlers & Tiaras, etc.). Favorite canceled shows include: Arrested DevelopmentVeronica Mars and Average Joe. In her spare time, Carla leads tours of downtown Austin on a Segway (don’t knock it ’til you’ve tried it!), blogs about Netflix Instant, and visits elementary schools telling children they don’t need math to succeed (just kidding, stay in school, kids).