I’ve been recapping The Bachelor(ette) long enough to learn the show’s patterns. Sadly, one of the patterns I’ve picked up on (besides the increasing number of fear- and helicopter-based dates) is that as soon as the show takes the contestants abroad, we stop getting pre-episode photos of their romantic misadventures. It’s like they want to save all their vacation photos for a post-show scrapbook!

So you’ll have to survive on these screencaps I got from the the brief preview clip for next weeks’ episode, and use your imagination, while reading the descriptions for next Monday’s dates, which take Ashley and her final 12 to Thailand:

The parts in quotations come from ABC’s press release for the Monday, June 13 episode of The Bachelorette.

bachelorthailandconstantine.jpgDate One: Sightseeing with Constantine.

“After arriving at the Renaissance Phuket Resort and Spa in southern Thailand, Constantine discovers he is the first to get an individual date. The couple is looking forward to an adventure on the seas, but as luck would have it, choppy surf and high winds force Ashley to cancel the date. Instead, the two head into town to shop, sightsee and even get some love advice from the locals. The handsome bachelor is taking some of the sting out of Ashley’s aching heart. But she needs a real romantic connection. Will Constantine assure Ashley that his is there for her for the long haul and be offered a rose, or will he be the first man sent home from Thailand?”

I’m happy we’ll finally get to hear from mostly-silent Constantine, especially because Ashley seems to have taken a real shine to him. He got the first rose at last night’s rose ceremony, and he’s cute.

bachelorthailand3.jpgDate Two: Renovating an orphanage with 10 guys.

“The next day, in an effort to see another side of her bachelors, Ashley takes 10 of her men on a group date that really will make a difference. She meets them at Baan San Fan orphanage, which houses some of the children who lost their parents in the horrific 2004 tsunami. The men quickly take up renovating, painting and decorating the place these youngsters now call home. Ben even decides to paint a mural for the kids. For the moment, J.P. concentrates on the work even though he has other romantic things on his mind. At the after party, however, one bachelor demands more of Ashley’s time and J.P. is emboldened to make a move. Who will Ashley decide has made her world a better place and thus get the rose?”

It’s nice to see that at least one date this season will be a giving-back date, and the presence of children should keep the guys on their best behavior. (Good for Ashley, not so good for TV.) And I can’t wait to see JP get “emboldened,” whatever that means. Especially after Nick tries to steal all the date thunder with his shirtlessness.

bachelorthailand2.jpgDate Three: Sea kayaking with Ames.

“The Bachelorette finally does get to take to the sea with Ames as she explores what a possible relationship would be like with him. Kayaking through the sea caves, Ames surprises her with his charm, wit and intelligence, but will his valiant romantic gestures snag him a coveted rose?”

With Bentley and Jeff gone, we can finally get to know the other, more normal guys, including Ames, who so far has said about five words on the show. All we know about him so far is that he’s a fancy Ivy leaguer who loves traveling abroad and running marathons. I want to know if he can be down-to-earth enough for Ashley. “Valiant romantic gestures” could go either way.

The Rose Ceremony: Only one will get eliminated.

“The twists and turns keep coming, and at the dramatic rose ceremony, Ashley, still emotional from her run-in with Bentley, expresses her apprehension about whether the bachelors are really here for her. But as time grows short, Blake confronts Ryan P. about the fact that he is annoying all the other men. At the end of the night, 11 men join Ashley as they look forward to more adventures on their trip to Chiang Mai, Thailand.”

Whether that means only one man will leave this week, or that Ames or Constantine will get eliminated after his one-on-one date, I couldn’t say. But it sounds like, if the guys could vote, they’d decide Ryan P. should go from First Impression Rose to Worst Impression Rose this week. Oh no! Not our solar-power prince!

Don’t miss the recap of this week’s episode. I wrote it just for you.

(Images courtesy of ABC)

Meghan Carlson

Senior Writer, BuddyTV

Meghan hails from Walla Walla, WA, the proud home of the world’s best sweet onions and Adam West, the original Batman. An avid grammarian and over-analyzer, you can usually find her thinking too hard about plot devices in favorites like The OfficeIt’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia, and How I Met Your Mother. In her spare time, Meghan enjoys drawing, shopping, trying to be funny (and often failing), and not understanding the whole Twilight thing. She’s got a BA in English and Studio Art from Whitman College, which makes her a professional arguer, daydreamer, and doodler.