This week’s episode of Mistresses, “Ultimatum,” centers around confessions. April learns the truth about her husband, and it isn’t pretty. He wins — hands down — the worst father/husband of the year award. The plot line is so ridiculous, it’s laughable. Aren’t primetime shows supposed to be better than this? It really is a soap opera because it’s preposterous. 

Then there’s Savi, who actually doesn’t seem to want to know the truth. Alex finally tells Josslyn about how she feels, and Karen gets caught in the most uncomfortable position.

The Dead is Undead

Where has Paul been the last three years, why did he show up now and what the heck is going on? So he faked his own death not because maybe his life was in jeopardy or that someone was blackmailing him (perhaps Miranda?) but because he’s a big coward. He had lost his job in the last Christmas before his death and was too ashamed to tell April. Three months went by, and he still couldn’t find a job. 

That, coupled with the fact that he was cheating on April and got the other woman pregnant, led to faking his own death, which is a huge cowardly move. It doesn’t make it any better that he wanted April to have a better life through his life insurance policy.

There are so many questions that it’s difficult to know where to start. There’s no point in thinking logically, like how does someone fake their own death? How did the insurance pay out? What’s in the coffin in his grave?

And the kicker about where he’s been all this time: with Miranda and their child. He was living a double life! What’s his other name? These are important questions!

Money-Grabbing Liar

Paul pops back up into April’s life to warn her about Miranda’s scam. While it shouldn’t be a surprise that it’s a scam, it’s not clear just how/why she was doing it. Paul and Miranda are experiencing tough times financially, so that’s why she reached out to Miranda to tell her about Paul’s affair and the child so that April would give her money.

However, Paul didn’t want Miranda — or them — to get any of the insurance money, and he tells her as much. He caught Miranda in a lie when she told him she was taking their son to see his grandmother — and in reality she was introducing herself to April and plotting her next move to get her hands on the money. 

While it doesn’t mean he’s any less than the scumbag of the earth, he does come clean about everything in order to tell April not to give Miranda any money.

April sets up Miranda by drawing her out, saying she has the check for her so Miranda comes to April’s shop. That’s when Paul shows up, mad, and Miranda is shocked — and leaves empty-handed.

While it sounds like the entire ridiculous debacle is over, it turns out Paul isn’t checking out of where he’s staying but is extending his stay. Why is he sticking around? Why can’t he just go back to Florida with his new family and never come back?

Josslyn Goes All In

Savi’s due for her six-month checkup and asks Harry to go with her. But he’s pouty and doesn’t want to go since it might not be his baby. Does anyone else find his “pick me or the baby” to be clinging-significant-other-ish? Maybe because his perfect hair is distracting from everything that comes out of his mouth.

Savi shows up to work and makes an assistant deliver legal papers to Dom where he gives up all legal rights for the baby — if it’s his, of course. Why doesn’t she wait until actually getting the test to do stuff like this? And then when she actually gets the test results, she locks it in her work drawer! Come on! Are we seriously going to wait until finale night to find out who the father is?

Josslyn, meanwhile, is the most refreshing out of the four storylines. And here I thought she was going to be the least interesting. But she’s just the least dramatic. And in a show called Mistresses, of course there’ll be drama, but the other three are getting to be pretty annoying with no end in sight to their problems — except perhaps April. I mean, she didn’t really do anything wrong.

Alex confesses her feelings, and the fact that they can’t be friends because of said feelings. She gets some advice from an unexpected source — her boss — and goes all in and decides to give it a go on a relationship with Alex.

Another Truth Exposed

Sam shows up at Karen’s practice — except he’s there for Jacob, the other psychiatrist. Karen’s alert sensors go up right away and she nonchalantly tries to ask her colleague about it. Every time Karen tries to be cool about asking questions she clearly wants to know the answer to, it doesn’t seem all that believable. 

Jacob doesn’t tell her much when she asks, but that doesn’t matter because when she gets home, Sam’s waiting for her there. He confesses to breaking into her office (he didn’t know the alarm was going to sound), and he also confesses his love for her and then does what the manly thing to do is in this situation … he literally runs off to his car and drives away.

He’s probably embarrassed since Karen took a step back from him when he took a step forward, showing worry for her own safety, and obviously he’s somewhat emotionally unstable at the moment, but it’s a move like that that makes this show seem so … childish.

The following morning, Jacob tells Karen that Sam canceled his appointment and will no longer be seeing him as well. Jacob expresses genuine worry for Sam. He’s grieving and hurting and not knowing how to deal with his emotions.

So Karen goes to see Sam’s mother and even ends up telling her that Sam told her he loved her. Her response is priceless, and the highlight of a dull episode: tell Sam you’ve been sleeping with his father. 

And in soap opera fashion, Sam emerges from the corner having listened to the entire conversation. The look on Karen’s face when she turns around to see Sam there is pretty priceless and makes everything that happened before that seem worth it.

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(Image courtesy of ABC)

Esther Gim

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV