On last week’s premiere episode of Make Me A Supermodel, we met this season’s 16 supermodel hopefuls. While red-headed stunner Jordan excelled and won immunity, the handsome but bulky Ken was sent home. This week the remaining 15 contestants get makeovers courtesy of Bravo’s own Tabatha Coffey, have a a candy themed photo shoot, and their weekly runway challenge. The episode begins with Clark Kent’s more handsome brother, Colin, practicing his runway walk. Colin, our early favorite to win it all, narrowly avoided elimination last week due to a ghastly runway walk, that one judge described as “looking like a dog with his head stuck out a car window.” While he may not have been a natural on the runway, the fact that Colin is practicing so diligently makes me love him even more…the show is called Make Me A Supermodel after all.
Colin’s walking practice is interrupted by an email notifying the models it’s time for their photo shoot. To get to their photo shoot the models must follow a trail of candy, which seems a little dubious, we all know what happened to Hansel and Gretel when they followed a trail of candy to an unknown location. Luckily, there’s no troll waiting for the contestants, just Tyson, Nicole, and this week’s photographer Suza Scalora. Suza tells the models that for this week’s photo, they’ll be posing as some of America’s favorite candies. She stresses that is very important that the models “embody and emote the candy,” which left me scratching my head. How does candy emote?
My deep thought is pleasantly interrupted by a parade of half-naked bodies, covered in body paint, pasties, glitter, and candy. And I’m not the only one enjoying the show, Branden is in awe of being around this many half-naked women at once and promises that it will provide him many good dreams. We bet it will Branden, you lucky bastard. But it’s not just Branden who is suddenly having a craving for sweets, sexual tension abounds during this week’s photo shoot. Colin, the 21 year-old virgin, is portraying chocolate to which Kerryn coos, “You know chocolate is my weakness.” Colin may have come in to Make Me A Supermodel a boy, but we bet he leaves it a man. Surprisingly comfortable with the nudity, is “Almost Amish” Salome. She’s just lazing about in her glitter and pasties like she’s wearing sweat pants.
The first model to be photographed is the dark and brooding Gabriel. Gabriel is portraying a bright orange pixie stick and is not really enjoying all this color and fun. Instead of looking like a supermodel, he looks like Rocky from a community theatre production of Rock Horror Picture Show. Next up is Mountaha, who is also a pixie stick for this photo shoot, albeit a very sexy, come-hither pixie stick. Also portraying a pixie stick is Salome, who is a glitterific pink Pixie stick and loving every moment of it. Salome seems to be the first model who is having fun with the photo shoot and the photographer is eating that up. We’re done with pixie sticks and onto Chris and Kerryn who are both dressed as sprinkles. Neither model is impressive, but Chris is particularly bad, he looks confused and stiff. Laury and Shawn are rock candy and both (pun intended) rock the photo shoot, though Laury’s first few poses were a little porn-tastic.
Up next are Colin and Karen, who are supposed to be chocolate. Karen says she doesn’t know how to embody chocolate–and I can’t blame her. Understand it or not, she took a good photo. Colin is still feeling very awkward in front of the camera and needs a lot of direction, but in my opinion, chocolate has rarely looked so good. Meanwhile, the girls are especially enjoying Sandhurst and portrayal of a gumball. The creative shoot allows Sandhurst to use some of his dance training, while the naked aspect of the shoot lets him show of his 16 pack abs. Really, there are way more than six on his stomach. Not nearly as impressive as a gumball is CJ. In general, CJ looks pissed off and the photo shoot is no different. CJ says she has a problem looking stupid and doing new things, so she finds it difficult to try to emote as a gumball. Normally I’s say “good point,” but CJ is on a modeling competition and it’s going to be filled with lots of ridiculously stupid new things.
Amanda and Jonathan are lollipops and both certainly look lickable. Amanda is really gaining confidence and is starting to show herself as a contender and not just a pretty girl. Jonathan comes to set filled with ideas on how to portray a lollipop and does one great pose after another. Suza, the photographer is in love with Jonathan and his creativity, and is positive she got a perfect shot out of the sexy Brit. Last but not least are the candy canes, Branden and Jordan, who both look stunning in their graphic red and white body paint. Branden comes on set with a new found confidence and takes one great photo after another. And while Jordan had immunity this week, she didn’t need it during the photo shoot, she is killing it. After the photo shoot, everyone de-sticks I imagine and heads back to the model loft, where Colin immediately gets back to practicing his walk.
Nicole, the girls mentor drops by the house with the photos from the candy shoot. Every week the photographer will choose their favorite model from the shoot and that model will win a go-see with a designer. And this week’s winner is? Miss Candy Cane, Jordan. For her fabulous photo, Jordan will go to a go-see at Miss Sixty. The rest of the models seem irritated that Jordan has already won two of the three challenges thus far, which Jordan seems to revel in. While Jordan is off at a go see, Nicole has a surprise for the rest of contestants: makeovers. The door bell rings and it’s Tabatha Coffey from Tabatha’s Salon Take Over and some of the models look like they may faint.
Tabatha has the models line up in a row and she walks down the row like a drill sergeant calling out makeover orders to the models one by one. Everyone seems game for the makeovers, except for CJ–CJ just seems pissed. Turns out there were two things CJ didn’t want to happen during her makeover: a short hair cut and a brunette dye job, and she’s getting both. CJ says she doesn’t understand why Tabatha would cover up a natural blonde, when tons of folks pay thousands of dollars to become blondes. She fears being brunette will make her boring, while I find myself wishing that becoming a brunette would somehow make her more likable. Truth is, neither will happen–it’s just hair dye. CJ’s bitchiness continues at the salon, when she is shown her new hair cut her response was: “What the f*ck!” Sadly, Tabatha didn’t unleash one her classic tirades of fury on CJ, because she deserved it.
Everyone else’s makeovers seem to go on without a hitch. Jonathan looses his luscious locks and still looks like a fox. Chris gets rid of his poodle hair ‘do and gets an updated John Rzeznik hair style, which somehow makes Chris look even more feminine to me. Mountaha is made white blonde and looks surprisingly hot with the new color. Karen gets her weave removed and a short bob, which she hates, but I love. Amanda gets Heidi Klum bangs and is finally transformed into a model. America’s Next Top Model should bring Tabatha Coffey for their next makeover, because she really did wonders on the contestants.
After the makeover, it’s time for this weeks runway challenge and Colin is nervous. Despite practicing all week, he’s not confident in his walk yet and that frustrates him. “All I have to do is walk, I can do this, babies can do this” becomes his mantra. For this week’s runway challenge the models will be walking in pairs and with props. First down the runway is Salome and Colin, Colin’s practice has paid off because his walk is much better. Next up is Branden and Sandhurst, who work surprisingly well together as a team. The guys have a perfect rhythm together and their poses at the end of the runway are strong and masculine, despite the fact their props are gigantic pieces of candy. The third pairing strutting the catwalk is Mountaha and Chris. Mountaha looks stunning with her new blonde hair and she has a strong runway walk, Chris on the other hand looks awkward and he cannot figure out what to do with his prop.
Amanda and Jordan are paired together and Jordan is none to pleased, after Amanda’s nerves almost sabotaged their first photo shoot Jordan says she hates Amanda. Luckily that dislike doesn’t show on the runway, the girls have good timing together and they both make their way down the runway like working models. Next up are CJ and Shawn and unfortunately for us all, CJ’s attitude and disdain for her brown hair has accompanied her down the runway. Despite being told they had to pose with their prop at the end of the runway, CJ refuses, because “it’s ridiculous.” That kind of attitude is not going to impress the judges. While CJ is having no fun, Jonathan and Karen seem to be having a blast with the runway challenge. They both look gorgeous and have choreographed a cute pose at the end of the runway, which really impresses the judges. The last pair up is Gabriel and Laury, who are both thoroughly unimpressive. Laury is still her bubbly and cute self, but Gabriel looks like he’s going to a funeral despite being dressed in bright colors. The last person down the runway is Kerryn, who is adorable, but I’m unconvinced she’s a supermodel.
After the runway show, the contestants face the judges. While most everyone else looks anxious and wide awake, CJ is yawning and crossing her arms like a toddler having a temper tantrum. The judges are going to eat her alive. The judges didn’t like Colin’s chocolate photo, but they thought he greatly improved his runway walk. The judges were impressed with Jordan’s performance especially since she had immunity and didn’t have to give it her all. Gabriel’s pouty look and bad attitude did not impress the judges, especially photographer Perou who says he “never wants to see anyone looking that miserable on the runway.” Gabriel makes some lame excuse about being a dark person. The judges still aren’t feeling Chris and his half hearted photos and runway performance, After a string of negative critiques, the judges rightly shower Jonathan with praises for his new look and spirited runway walk. The judges are also loving Branden, who performed well in both the photo and runway challenges. And now CJ, oh CJ. The juges are reasonably furious with CJ. They say her runway performance was poor and when asked about her makeover, CJ eeks out the least believable “it’s okay” ever. None of the judges are impressed, but it’s girls mentor Nicole who is angriest. She tells CJ that she is “a tasteless version of Kate Moss,” which is a pretty amazing insult when you think about it.
When it comes down to the judging, it is more clear who did poorly than who will win. The judges narrow down the best performances to Branden and Jonathan, which is a bit of a surprise. I wasn’t impressed with Branden at first, but he is growing on me with each episode. He could definitely be a sleeper this season. Despite loving Jonathan’s creativity this week, the judges ultimately name Branden this week’s winner, giving him immunity for next week. The bottom three is obvious: Chris, CJ, and Garbriel for their sub-par performances and crummy attitudes. I am shocked when the judges tell CJ she is safe, despite her bad attitude and constant bitching. So, once again, one of the boys will be going home. The judges tell Gabe they aren’t convinced he can do anything more than pout, which Gabe pouts about. Tyson tells Chris that despite trying to improve, his efforts aren’t enough to remain in the competition. Chris seems shocked by his elimination, but I’m not. Despite having a unique look, Chris never owned it and he was definitely the right model to send home tonight.
–Abbey Simmons, BuddyTV Writer
(Image Courtesy of CW)