Well gang, we made it to episode 2. After a brief recap of the
comedians who made it from the double episode that aired last week, we’re re-introduced to our judges – Roseanne Barr, Russell Peters, and Keenen Ivory Wayans. JB Smoove will be announcing which comedians will be moving onto the semifinals at the very end.
Tony Baker is the first comic of the night. His oldest son just turned 14 in January, and wanted a gym membership for his birthday. “It scared the hell out of me, because this is it! He’s going to take me out!” Tony joked. “He’s doing pushups in the house, looking at me the whole time.” Tony then jokes about my worst fear – getting robbed, while you’re in the shower. “What if I slip into him, and my package hits his hips?” (Note: That’s not part of my fear, for obvious reasons.) He ends his set with some Monopoly-related humor, and the judges seem to enjoy his set. The Dad stuff really hit it big with Keenen and Roseanne.
Next up is tax consultant/comedian/Harvard graduate/overall good kid Alingon Mitra. He’s terrified of his parents seeing his act – while they support him, they never really saw comedy in his future before. He starts with some riffs about being Indian. “When I started dating a white girl, my friend suggested the way I break it to my parents was to tell them I’m gay. Then, when I told them I’m straight, they’d be so relieved.” When he tried it out, his parents claimed “We already knew that. Just make sure you marry an Indian boy.” Russell thinks he came out swinging, and Keenen thinks he’s definitely an original – especially since he didn’t focus entirely on cultural jokes. (But – mostly cultural jokes.)
DC Benny is next to take the stage. He grew up in Washington DC, and was the only white kid in his class. For school plays, he was a snowstorm – and just ran on stage naked. He later auditioned for TV shows, and when he tried to memorize a line for the TV show Swift Justice, his sole line was “I’m gonna cut you good!” The casting director calls him J.C. Penney, and DC gets so nervous that he forgets, and improvises his one line. After being cast, his minor role was cut. Thus, the joke comes full circle. Keenen thinks the beginning of the set included a lot of throw-away jokes, but Roseanne thinks that he’s solid.
We’re now introduced to Kelly Pryce, who is a mother of four. She’s been in the business for 11 years. Between 5 and 8 PM, she has to balance dinner (her kids put toys in the oven!) and organizing her stand-up routine. “It’s tough to look like me and live in this city,” she says about LA. “I’m like a mythological creature in this city. I’m like a unicorn. A unicorn nobody wants to have sex with.” That’s a perfect segue to talking about sexual role-playing with her husband. Which is probably an overly-graphic visual for the viewers as to how they ended up with four kids.
Roseanne thinks her jokes and writing are funny, but she has an awkward construction. Kelly admits that she may have over-rehearsed her act beforehand. Keenen thinks that the beginning of her act (“nobody wants to have sex with me!”) doesn’t match the end of her act (“sexual weird stuff!”), and Kelly can’t believe that Keenen called her out as being a liar.
JB wants to know if we’re ready for more hilarity. We are! And out comes red-bearded Randy Liedtke . He starts out with some bad news. “I found out that my penis lost its job…. So,if you know of any openings it can fill…” Randy does a comical wave, pretty much admitting that it was a cheap joke. He talks about getting breakfast, and being served the Lumberjack Breakfast immediately, before ordering. “I’m not really a Lumberjack. I do like wearing flannel PJs, though… I guess that makes me a Slumberjack.” Sure, his jokes are a bit one-note and punny, but he’s oddly endearing and seems to have a good disposition with the crowd. Next up was going to be a ventriloquist act, but his dummy left town. Thankfully, the dummy calls in with an apology near the end of the set.
“You do have a funny look,” Roseanne said. “You do look like a lumberjack, and that’s cool… do you smoke pot?” He says he never has, and Roseanne comments that he should probably start.
Vinnie Brand has six kids, but will keep having kids until he gets one he likes. Mike Lawrence talks about The Lion King, and how horrific Scar‘s parents are for naming him that. Hampton Yount jokes about the perils of online dating. Emily Galati talks about Arizona being racist. “I can’t even watch the Walking Dead, it makes me homesick,” she claims, after talking about the state’s overabundance of old people.
Chloe Hilliard is next, and she’s taking us on a tour of her hometown, South Williamsburg. Based on the Hasidic Jew population, Chloe used to think she was Jewish growing up, despite being one of the few African American families in the area. Her dreams were crushed, when she learned she’d never have a Bat Mitzvah. Next, she talks about how hotels make her feel like a queen. “If I walk into my hotel room and there’s no ice bucket? There is hell to pay. I’m going out to the front desk, ‘Excuse Me Ma’am? I paid $79.99 per night. Where is my ice bucket? How do you expect me to keep my nips hard on vacation?”
Keenen thought she commanded the room, but she should have explored more on the Jewish jokes. Russell liked how she tied up her set, and Roseanne thought she had a lot of confidence.
Do I sense another comedy montage? Indeed I do.
Comedy Montage, Part 2
Gerald Kelly did his homework for his son, but the homework was wrong – and the son got two zeroes. “One for me, and one for you!” Keith Alberstadt jokes about vegetarians, Kimberly Clark talks about how she was one of two black kids at school, and she was often referred to as “Oops, I thought she was Keisha!” Jim Tews had a Dad who forgot school picture day, and figured he photo-bombed the class picture with his yellow pants and permanent Kool-Aid mustache. Zainab Johnson is wearing perhaps the longest pink pants I’ve ever seen in my life, and discusses the fact that she’s one of thirteen children in her house. “Give it up for my Mom’s vagina!” Keenen thinks she’s striking, tall and bald. The hashtag of “#baldandbeautiful” creeps up on the right side of the screen. I’m sure it’ll be a trending topic, but for reasons that don’t involve Last Comic Standing.
Rocky Laporte has the cameras record him ordering a pizza for his grandkids, which is thrilling footage. He’s been a comedian for well over 20 years, and admits that being on the road is tough with such a large and loving family. He starts his set by talking about his court case, and not understanding the judge. “Can I buy a vowel?” “You should buy a thesaurus.” “They’re extinct!” He rants about filling forms for the doctor. “Who should we notify in case of an emergency? I’m like… how about the doctor? There’s a good place to start.” Roseanne is loving this set, based on the monotone cackles I’m hearing.
Russell and Rocky have actually performed at festivals before, and Russell is a big fan. “You have a very funny and soothing voice at the same time,” he says. Keenen likes him, but wants him to pick up the pace and keep the momentum going.
The Judges Deliberate
Intimidating music plays, as JB announces the seven lucky finalists: Chloe Hilliard, the adorable Alingon Mitra, Gerald Kelly, Zainab Johnson, DC Benny, Emily Galati, and finally – Rocky Laporte. I’ll admit, I’m kind of bummed that Randy Liedtke didn’t continue forth. It’s the beard that made me a fan.
Next week: A new batch of comics face off. And they look eager.
Watch an all new Last Comic Standing Thursdays at 10pm on NBC.
(image courtesy of NBC)
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Contributing Writer, BuddyTV