The best thing about Keeping Up with the Kardashians being an E! reality series is that the season only lasts eight episodes, so tonight brings the season finale. Sadly, it was renewed for a second season, but that’s a long way away, so instead, let’s revel in the fact that this is the last we’ll see of this family for a while (at least in original reality series form).
Kim Kardashian is signing photos of herself at some car show. Everyone wants to know about her personal life, and she’s upset about all the rumors of what famous people she’s dating. I guess she wishes instead they’d ask her about her opinions on the Iraq War. Kim’s publicist is calling to ask about some rumors about her dating Terrence Howard. Apparently sister Kourtney Kardashian got her picture taken with him, and the press confused the two of them. I understand that.
Kim goes online to read about the men she’s been linked to, and only four out of 10 are true. Her sisters beg her to ignore it, but get momentarily sidetracked by the fact that their mom’s screensaver is of Kim and not her other children. The next day, Kim goes on Ryan Seacrest‘s radio show to clear up stuff about her relationships. Seacrest in! He runs through a list of male celebrities Kim is rumored to be linked with. The founder of Girls Gone Wild, Joe Francis? Her sister is friends with him, but it’s false. Pete Wentz, bassist for Fall Out Boy? She just starred in one of their music videos where she kissed him, but she also kissed a monkey in that video. Ryan claims he’s also kissed a monkey, which makes me love Ryan Seacrest so much.
Terrence Howard? No. Football star Reggie Bush? Kim avoids the question, which Ryan immediately picks upon as an admission of guilt. Kim gives a non-answer, saying she’s taking a sabbatical from dating because dating her involves dating her whole family. Ryan is horrified at the notion of dating Kim’s mom Kris Kardashian. Ha! Seacrest out!
Kim gets a call from a tabloid editor friend who says there’s a photographer trying to sell photos of Kim, Kourtney and some guy naked. She doesn’t deny it, but Kim says she knows where the pictures came from. Kim cries to her mom, saying she doesn’t want to go through this again. Well, stop letting people take naked pictures of yourself.
The photos were from high school, with Kourtney and her boyfriend. Kim stole the photos as a joke, but lost them. OK, so everyone in this family exhibited poor judgment. Kris tells Khloe Kardashian about the situation and asks her to keep Kourtney busy while Kris and Kim deal with it. They call up their lawyer and are told that since the photos are from high school and Kourtney is underage, it’s child pornography. So the guy is trying to sell kiddie porn, but in all fairness, couldn’t Kourtney also be busted for MAKING kiddie porn?
They track it down to a friend of Kim’s ex-husband who stayed at his house and took the photos. The lawyer tells them the FBi is getting involved. Glad to see the FBI’s priorities are in order. Finally, they let Kourtney in on what’s going on, and Kim is more upset than Kourtney. Kourtney is more willing to accept responsibility, but claims everyone has sex with their boyfriend and takes pictures. Kris shows a glimmer of motherhood by saying not everyone takes pictures.
The FBI guys show up to interview the family. But first, Kris has to explain what happened to husband Bruce Jenner. He takes it as good as can be expected, first thinking it’s TV’s Bloopers and Practical Jokes. Then Kourtney has to tell boyfriend Scott, and he thinks she’s mad because the photos are from before her boob job. I LOVE SCOTT! He doesn’t understand why she’s fixated on the age. Scott says he didn’t take naked photos of himself when he was 17, and somehow Kourtney doesn’t believe him. He still supports her, for some reason.
Kris tries to explain the situation to the mini Kards, and does that “I’ll tell you when you’re older” stuff. The next day, they find out the FBI got the photos and the guy, so it’s all good. Kris says they all learned a valuable lesson: don’t trust anyone. Wow, that could not be further from the real lesson, which is: don’t take naked pictures or make sex tapes of yourself. Also, did they not learn this lesson from Kim’s sex tape? I guess in the Kardashian family, you need to screw up twice before you recognize it’s a problem.
The whole clan gets together, and so ends the first season of Keeping Up with the Kardashians. See you this spring, when the family will struggle to manufacture eight more wacky scenarios for them to air.
-John Kubicek, BuddyTV Senior Writer
(Image courtesy of E!)