Tyra Banks, model, mogul, inventor of SMIZE and keeper of the title of America’s Next Top Model, is one busy lady. Can we keep up with her? No. But we can try. Here’s what’s up with Tyra this week.
To kick off the week, Tyra pondered the existential purpose of male kangaroo pounches while working on her teen novel MODEL LAND, and then encouraged all of us to get one step closer to our dreams. And what did TYRA do to get closer to hers? A lot, it turns out. Let’s see:
Dropping the “Banks”: When she was on Ellen yesterday, Tyra said she is “officially” dropping the “Banks” last name, following in the footsteps of Bono, Cher, Madonna and Greg, the homeless man who hangs out by my stoop and sells bottlecaps. But she kind of sounded like she was joking. I can’t tell. Just to be safe, no one call her “Ms. Banks” when you run into her at the airport or at the grocery store or in your dreams. That could be awkward.
Inventing the Notion of Dressing for One’s Body Type: At the moment of the composition of this article, we are a mere 3 days, 8 hours, 5 minutes and 21 seconds away from the launch of TypeF.com, Tyra’s newest fashion and beauty website dedicated to helping young ladies celebrate themselves and their bodies by putting them into “types” and then telling them how to look pretty and dress to flatter their figures. It is her goal to combat magazines that tell women that if they don’t look a certain way then they are ugly, stupid losers. That’s why all the women in this video promo for TypeF are so skinny and pretty. Also this song is Type Terrible:
Check back to TypeF.com in three days to find out what type you are and how to dress for it! I hope there is an app where I can upload my picture and try on different hats. I also hope you can friend people on the site. If you can, search for me! My username is “typefart.” (No, seriously, it is. I signed up.) Also, take note of Tyra’s tribal necklace in the beginning of the video. Tribal is so hot right now. SEE:
Wearing Floppy Hats and Going to Harvard: When she was chatting with Ellen, Tyra also revealed that she is going to attend Harvard Business School for Executive Education. That’s legit! Then she gave Ellen her hot trend style tips for the season. The takeaways: Floppy hats are back (THANK GOD!), everything “tribal” is so hot right now (hi, Native Americans! thanks for the super cute bracelets!) and sexy platforms are IN. But not all at once. Don’t be a Type Idiot.
Hanging out with Donald Rumsfeld: I don’t know what this is about, but it probably spells trouble for the people of Earth.
That’s it for this week’s Tyra Watch! I’ll try to keep you abreast of all the latest Tyra news as it develops. Until then, did you see the photos for next week’s Top Model episode when she literally sets the girls on fire? Hahaha. Oh, Tyra. You’re Type A-mazing.
(Image courtesy of the CW)