As we learned on the last episode of I Love New York, Buddha will be returning to the house. He was kicked off for fighting, but Tiffany Pollard, aka New York, and the producers must have realized that to kick him off for breaking one rule was to, in fact, violate the larger Law of Reality Television.
This Law is a variation of the old TV news adage “If it bleeds, it leads.” The Law of Reality Television is “If it bleeds, causes someone else to bleed, cries, spits, gets embarrassingly drunk, can be induced to talk smack about other contestants, forms immediate and disproportionately intense relationships with others, antagonizes everybody around, will make out/sleep with anybody, and/or causes the viewers to write pages of outraged comments online, it leads.”
So since he could fulfill at least one of the above, Buddha’s back on I Love New York. You can fight the Law, but the Law wins.
We’ll be hearing more from Buddha soon, then but in the meantime, he’s offering up that letter on his website. Here’s that section on Tailor Made:
“Princess, there is no doubt that to me ‘Tailor Made’ is the physical manifestation and representation of everything I hate in this world and I am truly sorry that I may have cheated us out of a future together, but there are things in this world that are bigger than I and even ‘New York’ and when the ultimate sacrifice has to made to do what’s right, I will now and always proudly submit myself for crucifixion.”
(I must take a moment to stand in awe of the sheer chutzpah of this man. Maybe he didn’t quite realize how this would sound, but first of all, he refers to himself as one major world religion figure, blithely offering up a “What Would Buddha Do?” banner on his website – referring to himself and not the actual Buddha, a figure of inspiration and contemplation for over 2000 years.
And then he compares he compares his fate to that of another major world religion figure, by saying that being thrown off a basic cable Flavor of Love spin-off reality dating competition for head-butting another contestant is like being “crucified.” Wow. I mean…wow. I’m almost at a loss for words. Wolf has already claimed to have one big thing, but based on the sheer gumption of Buddha’s presentation of himself, I think he’s got a couple big something elses of his own.)
Once you’ve recovered from that, he continues.
“I only hope that you understand that there are times when people of good conscious [sic] and character cannot stand idly by while bad men in custom cotton attempt to have their way. In the end, I know that Tailor Made is just a man who’s been brain washed and victimized by ‘The Leaders’ and ‘Role Models’ of this world and therefore I truly do not fault him…but I choose to be different. I’ll miss you and I really did look forward to enjoying Disney Land together.”
He closes with a quote from Edmund Burke: “The only thing necessary for evil to succeed is for good men to do nothing.”
So good men? Get to head butting!
If you want to read the rest of the letter, it will cost you; he’s only offering up the full text to subscribers to his website.
We’ll have to tune in to I Love New York next week to see how his return fully plays out. Which world religious figure will he compare himself to next? Your guesses below!
– Leslie Seaton, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of VH1)