There’s no secret formula to picking up women but How I Met Your Mother has a few hilarious tips courtesy of Barney, who is back to his womanizing ways now that he’s already broken up with Robin. “The Playbook” teaches us every trick, scam and con every used by Barney, from the most basic moves to the more advanced and complicated approaches to charming a girl.
Don’t Drink That
One of the simpler tricks in the Playbook, “Don’t Drink That” is move used by Barney to appear as a savior to a woman by warning her not to sip her drink because he saw some other guy slipped something in it, and then points to Ted as the culprit.
The Mrs. Stinsfire
This is one of the complex moves that require Barney to dress up as a housekeeper to spy on sorority girls.
The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn
Also known as the trick Barney uses to establish his grand return to the dating stage (or bed), “The Lorenzo Von Matterhorn” requires basic knowledge of website design, a very unique fake name and a target, preferably a girl with a really nice…phone. Barney introduces himself to his target as the famous Lorenzo Von Matterhorn, leaving the girl intrigued and curious enough to do an internet search on her phone where she discovers a series of fake websites devoted to Lorenzo Von Matterhorn including a fake business article about him being a billionaire, a fake explorers news club describing his trip to the north pole, and a fake medical journal featuring a heartbreaking story in which doctors tell him that penis reduction surgery is not an option. Barney then asks the girl out for coffee and she immediately says yes.
Barney pretends to be an astronaut of Secret NASA whose adventures include a trip to the “smoon.”
The Cheap Trick
There is nothing cheap about this trick since it involves expensive hair extensions but it’s all worth the trouble as we see Barney pretending to be the bass player for the band Cheap Trick.
He’s Not Coming
Barney seeks for women hoping to meet their estranged lovers at the observation deck of the Empire State building and drops the line “he’s not coming” so he’ll be the first one to comfort these brokenhearted fools.
The Ted Mosby
Sporting the plaid polo shirt, Barney plays the “I got left at the altar” card to get sympathy from women.
My Penis Grants Wishes
Barney tells a magical story about a genie that comes out of his penis only of the girl rubs it hard.
The Scuba Diver
The most cunning trick of all, The Scuba Diver, proves to be a successful trick as Barney tells a female friend, in the case Lily, about the Playbook. He then hits on her coworker, making Lily angry enough to steal the Playbook and tell her friend all about the scams he pulled. Barney then puts on a scuba suit and talks about his deep insecurities, causing Lily to feel bad for Barney and eventually convinces the girl to go out with him.
All in all, “The Playbook” was a fun episode of How I Met Your Mother that reminded us of how awesome Barney is as just plain playboy Barney, while tapping on the depressing aftermath of his breakup with the one woman he really took seriously.
-Kris De Leon, BuddyTV Staff Columnist
(Image courtesy of CBS)