Despite what the title indicates, it ain’t that type of party. But it did produce stomach pains for everyone, including this recapper, unfortunately.

Where is Zoe?

Let’s play a game. It’s like Where’s Waldo, only we try and identify Zoe Hart in the crowd of fun, secondary TV shows on this little Southern dramedy. I’ve never been particularly good at this game, but I’d like to think that my observant TV skills will help me find her…


Seriously, where is Zoe tonight? Because she isn’t being awesome or a doctor or a friend or anything worth watching; simply put, Zoe isn’t acting like Zoe.

Lavon, the sage and wonderful BFF, is suffering from a sprained ankle; Zoe is doctoring him but is obsessing about George. I love George Tucker too (not of late) but shut up, girl! Luckily, Lavon has the sense to shut his mouth since spewing advice is futile anyway.

Montage Marriage

Sometimes, when I’m feeling especially sleep deprived, I like to imagine my life through a series of montage moments. A lot of the time it is with boring stuff like doing taxes or reading a book that’s supposed to be good but really isn’t or pretending to hate watching the Kardashians with my mom.

I think of Hart of Dixie does better montage-esque sequences. I’d like to imagine that I would also montage my counseling moments and am eternally grateful that I did not have to watch that scene be serious. As Zoe Tony Soprano was in counseling for the entire series and it more or less meant nothing.

George and Lemon attend counseling before they officially call off the wedding. First, this is shot in a very fun way that is so different from The CW/Hart of Dixie norms. Second, I want to go to couples counseling if I get one of those pillow things. Thirdly, I think this was the strongest bit in the whole episode.

But there’s a whole lot of episode to go.

Bluebell Battle

This town just makes events up every week, I’m sure of it. There is a strange series of tasks that are scavenger hunt like which forces our Bluebellians/Bluebellers to pair up.

Lemon and George pair up to work on their relationship; it’s less working than George not talking to Lemon. Which elicits jealousy from Zoe; Zoe, acting crazy, believes a grand gesture will win him over. That would work if Zoe knew anything about men; granted, I too am of the female species but even I know that men don’t notice that, sweetheart, especially if the event isn’t even that grand.

Zoe, in her infinite terribleness this episode, chooses to join forces with Wade, in need of a partner to jump start his business. Wade and Zoe make a bad team because they keep fighting. But Wade expresses his entrepreneurial interests and Zoe confesses that she is in the race for another reason.

Men don’t do subtle; or if they try, they inaccurately assume such like Wade just did. I feel sad because I know how the rest of the episode is going to turn out; and like a car crash, I want to look away but can’t.

Watching the Car Crash (Metaphorically)

Wade cancels on pseudo girlfriend/ex-wife Tanzy for a prospect with Zoe; Zoe continues her crazy even after Lavon points out to Zoe that Wade likes Zoe. Tanzy and Lavon need to be together. Stat! See, I used the quota for a medical reference on a Hart of Dixie episode; I got you covered, producers!

Anyway, we cut to Lemon and George, giving it their all to another emotional scene about their relationship. George admits he kissed Zoe in New Orleans; how it comes out, however, is that he kissed to make Lemon react. Lemon forgives him, trying to set an example of ‘Do what I do, not what I do not do’ (does that make sense?). Lemon’s most outstanding characteristic is not that she is annoying or yellow or sour; but that she just tries so hard. She is trying so hard to make this relationship work.

A part of me wants to scream at George and Lemon. The two of them are perfect for each other because in addition to being innately good, they are also horrible to everyone else. I really don’t know how Wade stands being friends with these privileged individuals who get what they want and reject people who want them. But that is part of their charm, which I’m starting to discover is more leave it than take it.

This amounts to her climbing on the roof to win George Tucker’s affections. It’s more than that though, it is also manipulative. Of course George is not made of stone, they dated for 15 years! He’s going to save her. It was cheap to put Lemon in jeopardy so George could realize his feelings. Even cheaper was the scene before it: Wade watches Zoe confess feelings to George.

Wade hammers home Zoe’s flaws again; the impact of his words hurt more this time.
Zoe has been more influenced by the South than I think any of us realized: she’s brave and hopeful enough now to put herself out there. Grand gestures, hope, destiny–they might happen in New York movies but not in a real New York setting. Zoe goes all in and loses; it’s even sadder when you realize that the whole world knew this but Zoe.

Secondary Saviors

Tom and Rose sort of saved this episode. And Wanda; they are too cute. Even though this episode lost sight of its main characters, it really explored tertiary ones like Tom and Rose and Tanzy. Tom’s puppy sweater is amazing. And his relationship with Wanda, woman wonder, is developing nicely.

As for Rose, she gets a date with Magnolia’s ex-boyfriend, Frederick Dean. Rose has to wait until she’s 15 to date so Zoe convinces Rose’s mother to allow Rose and Frederick to participate in the Battle. Rose is so cute, with her stomach pains over Frederick and their clear miscommunication. Rose is kind of awesome. She should rub that awesomeness on Zoe.

Purging List

Tanzy and Lavon write a list of negative qualities about the people they need to get over. Team Tanzy and Lavon! Wade joins in, too. Zoe’s about to join in as well before Lavon blocks her; his warning over her carelessness wasn’t just a warning.

And to top it all off, Zoe’s responsible for Rose’s hospitalization. Those stomach pains and knots weren’t hormones; they were appendicitis.

Oh and Lowe’s continues with Grilling. The best part is that Annabeth stays in character the entire time and they even incorporate some South terminology that makes me want to look at a map again.

Emily E. Steck
Contributing Writer

(Image courtesy of The CW)

Photo AlbumHart of Dixie – 1.20 “The Race and the Relationship”

Emily E. Steck

Contributing Writer, BuddyTV