For three seasons, Rachel has been a goody two-shoes and Santana has been the Head Bitch in Charge in Glee. But this week, they swap roles, and we see the softer side of Santana and the bad girl inside Rachel. Also, Burt wins the election, so I guess he’s a Congressman now. But that doesn’t seem to matter.
Santana Comes Out
Santana almost gets suspended for slapping Finn, because the school has a zero-tolerance policy for violence (which apparently doesn’t include slushies to the face). But Finn steps up and says it didn’t happen because, suddenly, he’s some sort of sweet, noble hero.
Finn uses this to blackmail Santana and the Trouble Tones to participate in a lesson where everyone sings lady songs about lady power to prove that they all love Santana and her newly out lesbianism. It’s just an excuse to slowly crack her hard candy shell.
At first, Santana is her typical awesome self, hurling insults at Finn and even mocking Blaine’s hideous bowties (something I’ve been doing since episode 2). But when Finn confesses that he cares about her and doesn’t want her to commit suicide, she melts and finally becomes a good person. I guess that’s a good thing, but it essentially takes my favorite character and turns her into a wuss.
Now that Santana has poured her emotions out (which sadly resulted in her grandma disowning her), her musical performances lack the internal, emotional pain that she used to have. I don’t like this new Santana.
Despite the fact that Kurt and Rachel were formerly in the lead for the student election, now, without Rachel, Brittany is the frontrunner. Rachel is more selfish than usual, angry that people won’t vote for Kurt, he won’t get into NYADA, and she won’t have her best gay with her. I’m getting sick of this delusion that the only way for Kurt to get into NYADA is by winning the election, because that’s just plain moronic.
These two are painfully spoiled brats who think they deserve special treatment, and this storyline highlights just how not-so-nice these characters really are. Indeed, Rachel stuffs the ballot, but she does it so poorly that it’s obvious and Principal Figgins threatens to suspend Kurt if they learn he did it. If Rachel had only watched the second season of Battlestar Galactica, she’d know that rigging an election, even for noble reasons, ends in disaster and Cylon occupation.
In the end, Rachel confesses her crime and gets suspended from school and banned from Sectionals. I’m happy there’s a real punishment for her awful behavior.
The Cooter Triangle
On Glee, every romance needs a love triangle, so Coach Beiste and Cooter run into some trouble when Sue starts dating Cooter to try and prove she’s not a lesbian. But first, we get to see Sue’s list of male conquests, and it’s pretty hilarious, including Vladimir Putin, Stephen Baldwin and David Boreanaz. Coach Beiste eventually learns to get in touch with her feminine side and confesses her love for Cooter, vowing to put up a fight to win him back. The funniest part might be that Coach Beiste perceives Sue as a gorgeous blonde.
Puck and Shelby
The dumbest storyline Glee has ever done gets even dumber. First Puck yells at Shelby after she kicks him out following a moment of weakness when she hooks up with him again. She’s right to do it, and he’s an idiot if he thinks she should just do it. Then Puck goes to have anger sex with Quinn, but when he learns that her new plan is to get knocked up and have another perfect baby, he puts on the brakes. Then it seems like he tells Quinn about his romance with Shelby. All of this needs to stop. Now.
“Perfect” (Pink) by Kurt and Blaine: These two should only duet on the softer songs, because as soon as Blaine started singing, he totally drowned Kurt out. Which, to be fair, isn’t such a bad thing since Blaine ruled.
“I’m the Only One” (Melissa Etheridge) by Puck: This is the kind of song Puck should always do. It’s sensitive, but rocking enough not to be too wussy.
“Girls Just Want to Have Fun” (Cyndi Lauper) by Finn: A slowed-down, acoustic version, this was insanely good, though I imagine if it went to a stronger vocalist, it would’ve been even better.
“Jolene” (Dolly Parton) by Coach Beiste: The song was perfect for the story, but it was obvious that Dot-Marie Jones isn’t very comfortable singing and I felt like the emotion wasn’t really there. However, her face when she was done more than made up for it.
“I Kissed a Girl” (Katy Perry) by the Girls: The ladies rocked out, and I always love when Santana takes the lead, but my favorite parts were the quick cutaways to Rory’s reaction shots. If you watch it again, pay close attention to Damian McGinty, because it’s clear that Rory was having very naughty and exciting thoughts about the girls kissing each other.
“Constant Craving” (k.d. lang) by Santana and Shelby: As I said, I feel like Santana’s performances are now worse because she doesn’t have those pent-up emotions anymore. There’s no subtext, just text.
Next week on Glee: It’s Sectionals. And Sam is back as a stripper. Because down-on-their-luck high school juniors moonlighting as exotic dancers isn’t creepy at all.
(Image courtesy of FOX)